Huey Walker: You know, Buckner, if it hadn't've been for you, I'd be in a warm cell right now.
John Buckner: Yeah, being beaten by a nice, warm, rubber hose.
John Buckner: You want to know why, Mr. Walker? Because from here to Spokane, you and I are joined at the hip. You do what I say when I say it. You don't even take a piss without me watching. If you try to escape, I'm authorized to stop you any way I see fit. Do I make myself clear?
Huey Walker: Don't worry, kid. I won't give you no exuse to blow me away.
John Buckner: That's good.
Huey Walker: Hey, do you want to watch me piss now?
Huey Walker: You know what your problem is?
John Buckner: What?
Huey Walker: You like me. You just won't admit it.
John Buckner: Let me tell you something, Mr. Walker...
Huey Walker: What happened to "Huey?"
John Buckner: When you were riding around on your Indian and wiping your ass with the American flag, my father was in Vietnam. He fought there, and he died there too. So don't tell me I like you, because I hate your fucking guts, okay?
Huey Walker: I'm sorry about your dad. (Buckner shrugs) Yeah, I wiped my ass with the flag, I did. Gave me a rash.
Huey Walker: Mandatory AIDS testing for all government employees. I guess that means you, Buckner. I wouldn't worry though, you look like a practitioner of safe sex. As a matter of fact, you look like a practitioner of no sex.
Huey Walker: It takes more than going down to your local video store and renting Easy Rider to become a rebel.
Huey Walker: [John and Huey have been sitting quietly on a train. John is reading his paper when... ]
Huey Walker: Oh, fuck, man! I can't fuckin' take it anymore; fuck, I've had it man; I ain't been this fuckin' quiet in my entire fuckin' life! I need drugs! I need women! I need drink! I need somethin', man! Fuck! This is fuckin' nuts! I can't get a word in vertical! Holy shit!
Huey Walker: [calmly] It's been a fuckin' hour of silence here.
Huey Walker: The 90's are going to make the 60's look like the 50's.
Huey Walker: I can't believe this! I've been abducted by the Vienna Boys Choir!
Hal: We've gotta keep drinking. If we sober up, we'll never go through with this.
Barry: Hal, how are we supposed to keep drinking when there's nothing in the bottle?
Hal: You called me Hal! Now he knows my name, BARRY!
Huey Walker: I'll do it! I blow the FBI agent's brains out!
John Buckner: He doesn't mean that folks, really.
Huey Walker: Honestly, how many of you are here for the free sex?
Huey Walker: If you guys ever thought about brightening this place up, like, you know, a few plants, some flowers, you'd attract a better class of criminal. And man, if I can say one other thing, the room service sucks, and so do some of the customers.
Huey Walker: That is cold, man. What if the train derails, huh? What if we plunge into a river, huh?
John Buckner: You drown.
Huey Walker: Know thy enemy.
Hal: What'd you put on?
Barry: I couldn't figure out how to work the jukebox.
[Hal cracks up laughing]
Barry: It's digital... It's not funny, man, there is nothing on there you ever heard of.
Hal: "Born to be Wild," selection 119.
Barry: It's gone. They're all gone. That was our anthem, man.
Hal: Those soulless bastards!