Dt. Kinderman:
My wife's mother is visiting, Father. And Tuesday night, she's cooking us a carp. It's a tasty fish, I've got nothing against it. But, because it's supposedly filled with impurities, she buys it live and for three days, it's been swimming... up and down... in my bathtub. Up and down... and I hate it. I can't stand the sight of it, moving its gills. Now, you're standing very close to me, Father; have you noticed? Yes. I haven't had a bath for three days. I can't go home until the carp is asleep because if I see it, swimming... I'll kill it.
Kanavan:
Try and make a good confession, and remember, Christ forgives all our sins.
Penitent:
Only little things. Nothing. Seventeen of them, Father. The first was that waitress in Candlestick Park. I cut her throat and watched her bleed. She bled a great deal. It's a problem I'm working on, Father. All this bleeding.
Mrs. Clelia:
My radio. Aren't you going to fix it? Nothing ever gets fixed round here. Just a whole bunch of pies and anchovies. Go away. I don't ever talk to strangers.
Dt. Kinderman:
I'm the radio repairman, Mrs Clelia.
Mrs. Clelia:
Well then, fix it.
Dt. Kinderman:
What's wrong with it?
Mrs. Clelia:
Dead people talking. It's right here. Do you see it?
Dt. Kinderman:
Yes. I see it.
Mrs. Clelia:
I just knew you weren't really a radio repairman. That's a telephone I'm holding.
Patient X:
I still hear from her occasionally, screaming. I think the dead should shut up, unless there's something to say.
Patient X:
I have dreams... of a rose, and then of falling down a long flight of steps.
Patient X:
You again. You've interrupted me. Well... come in, Father Morning. Enter, knight. This time you're going to lose.
Patient X:
It's the smiles that keep us going. The bits of giggles and good cheer.
The Gemini Killer:
I like plays. The good ones... Shakespeare... I like Titus Andronicus the best; it's sweet. Incidentally, did you know that you are talking to an artist? I sometimes do special things to my victims: things that are creative. Of course, it takes knowledge, pride in your work... For example, a decapitated head can continue to see for approximately twenty seconds. So when I have one that's gawking, I always hold it up so that it can see its body. It's a little extra I throw in for no added charge. I must admit it makes me chuckle every time. Life is fun. It's a wonderfull life, in fact... for some.
Father Dyer:
I only told him the truth.
Stedman:
What did you say?
Father Dyer:
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks your an asshole.
Father Dyer:
(On the film 'It's a Wonderful Life') I've seen it 37 times.
Dt. Kinderman:
That's commendable.
The Gemini Killer:
I kill at random... no motive... that's the fun.
Dt. Kinderman:
This I believe in... I believe in death. I believe in disease. I believe in injustice and inhumanity, torture and anger and hate... I believe in murder. I believe in pain. I believe in cruelty and infidelity. I believe in slime and stink and every crawling, putrid thing... every possible ugliness and corruption, you son of a bitch. I believe... in you.
Father Dyer:
May the schwartz be with you.
Father Paul Morning:
[
performing exorcism] You robber of life! You author of pain! You corruptor of justice, and innocence, and youth!
The Gemini Killer:
Catatonics are so easy to possess...
Father Dyer:
[
in a hospital complaining that he's read all of the newspapers already] Now look, these are all last weeks editions. I've read every one of them. No, can't ya pick me something up?
Dt. Kinderman:
My god, the grammar.
Patient X:
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so.
Patient X:
[
flashback from 'The Exorcist'] Take Me. Come into Me!
Patient X:
Well, there I was so awfully dead in that electric chair. I didn't like it. Would you? It's upsetting. There was still so much killing to do, and there I was, in the void, without a body. But then along came - well - my friend. You know. One of them. Those others over there. The cruel ones... the Master. He thought my work should continue. But in this body. This body in particular, in fact. Let's call it revenge. A certain matter of an exorcism, I think, in which your friend Father Karras expelled certain parties from the body of a child. Certain parties were not pleased, to say the least. The very least. And so, my friend, the Master, he devised this petty scheme as a way of getting back, of creating a stumbling block, a scandal, a horror to the eyes of all men seeking faith, using the body of this saintly priest as an instrument of, well, you know - my work. But the main thing is the torment of your friend Father Karras as he watches while I rip and cut and mutilate the innocent, his friends, and again, and again, on and on! He's inside with us! He'll never get away! His pain won't end!
[
Abruptly calm and composed]
Patient X:
Gracious me. Was I raving? Please forgive me. I'm mad.
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