Kirsten: [after catching her brother spying on her] I'm your fucking sister.
Willy: Yeah, you've got fucking big tits and I'm going to tell everybody I saw them.
Kirsten's Mother: Your father's in the study.
Kirsten: What? No. Grandfather's in the study. Dad is dead.
Kirsten's Mother: Your grandfather is your grandfather AND your father!
Mike McGavin: I need to know the connection between the elves and the nazis!
Kirsten's Mother: You look terrible.
Kirsten: Yeah, well, I had a rough day at work... Santa got murdered.