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Cory and friends visit a broken down old shack in the middle of nowhere to investigate the mysteries of his past. After realizing that his grandparents dabbled in black magic, demons and the undead begin to attack, taking Cory's friends down one by one. Written by
Allan Church <AllanHC96@AOL.COM>
I enjoyed this one. It has it all. and I aint lyin' neither. There is plenty of gore and there is ALWAYS something to laugh at. The film makers really should have gone for straight comedy.
I needed a good laugh. I've been getting a little burned-out at the job, having some girl trouble, and the whole week's just kinda sucked. This puppy just sorta jumped in my hand at the video store, so I bought the damn thing. I paid a wopping $2 for it and now it's forever stuck in my library of b-movies.
Here's the "plot". This guy (I can't even remember his name) has been having the sick, disturbing dreams and he thinks that if he calls up a bunch of his idiot friends and drags them to his dead grandparents' former home, then he will somehow find the meaning of life or some stupid thing like that. It turns out that the place is like a gate to hell, or something like that and a bunch of demons (who sound like a broken toy)show up and start killing everybody.
Yep, it's that stupid, but funny as hell to watch. Talk about some funny scenes. The two magician guys (who look an awful lot like a poor man's Sigfread and Roy) cracked me up. I loved their mullets and there is something a little homoerotic about the way they interact with one another. (am I the only one who noticed that?) Of course one of them is a kung-fu expert and he does kick a mean empty beer-can. I also liked the one over-bearing boyfriend who kept saying "that's why I keep her around." That was a howler. I found the old man at the gas station quite hilarious. His "warning" had me on the floor, wallowing in laughter (I'm sure if someone had walked in my room, they would have thought I was having some sort of convulsions.) Just his "there was BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!" makes me giggle when I think about it.
The gore effects are pretty decent. The zombies look like they just finished smearing a jar of vaseline on their faces and regurgitated that big bowl of oatmeal they had for breakfast. Oh yeah, did I mention that their voices all sound like the lead singer of Cannibal Corpse with a slight electronic edge?
Well, I hope at least one person out there enjoys this work of art as much as I did. It takes raw talent and skill to make a film this funny. I really hope to meet the director some day. I'd also like to meet the guy who says "that's why I keep her around". That guy really cracked me up and I cracked open a beer simultaneously with his death scene. It's a shame the magical/ambiguous duo didn't stick around too long. They were the coolest ones in the group.
Well, I'm done reviewing this beauty. I'd just like to give a SPECIAL THANKS to the writers for coming up with that line "that's why I keep her around", the director for steering this whole thing in the right direction, the guys with the mullets, their hair-stylists, and the old man who gets to say "there was BLOOD all over the floors, all over the walls, there was BLOOD EVERYWHERE". I'd also like to thank that one girl who got killed in "Slaughterhouse". She's almost as talented as the old man and I'd like to see her in more stuff like this. She can fake a scream and die with the best of 'em.
One more thing: Lou Diamond Phillips is listed in the credits, but If he was in it, I must have missed him. Hmmm, maybe he was ducking behind a tree or hiding in the fake fog.
10 of 12 people found this review helpful.
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