The Judge: By the way, that's a shame about your face.
Hatchet-Face: There's nothing the matter with my face. I got character!
Cry-Baby: That's right, Allison. My father was the "Alphabet Bomber." He may have been crazy, but he was my pop. Only one I ever had.
Allison: God. I heard about the Alphabet Bomber. Bombs exploding in the... in the airport and barber shop...
Cry-Baby: That's right. All in alphabetical order. Car wash... drug store... I used to lay in my crib and hear him scream in his sleep..."A,B,C,D,E,F,G... BOOM! BOOM!"
Allison: But your mom...
Cry-Baby: My mother tried to stop him. She couldn't even spell, for Christ's sake, but they fried her too.
Uncle Belvedere Rickettes: [to Cry Baby] Woo-Wee, you caught me in my birthday suit, butt-naked!
Wanda's Father: Hi, Wanda honey.
Wanda's mother: You were on the radio.
Wanda: Would you just get me the fuck out of here?
Wanda's mother: What's "fuck" mean, Hector?
Wanda's Father: Oh, Maggie, it's just a teen nonsense word Wanda uses to make herself feel all grown-up.
Wanda's mother: Your Honor, could we take Wanda the fuck home?
Hateful Guard at Maryland Training School for Boys: What's that on your face blubber boy? A booger?
Cry-Baby: Are you blind? It's a lonely tear drop!
Hateful Guard at Maryland Training School for Boys: Now, ain't that cute? It oughta go real good with your new haircut.
Cry-Baby: I ain't gettin' no haircut!
[Allison stops Cry-Baby from fondling her]
Allison: I wanna let you, but I can't, for my parent's sake, Cry-Baby. They're both dead. I'm an orphan!
Cry-Baby: I'm sorry, Allison. But no wonder we're together, honey. I'm an orphan, too.
Allison: You are?
Cry-Baby: Yes! And orphans have special needs.
Allison: Just on the outside of the shirt, okay?
Wanda: Think Cry-Baby's got blue balls for the chick?
Hatchet Face: Allison's a square, Wanda. Cry-Baby don't dig squares.
Pepper: No, she's a scrape - part square, part drape. I think she's pretty.
Ramona Rickettes: Cry-Baby, when you was a boy, you had to be the man of this family.
Uncle Belvedere Rickettes: But I taught you how to dress, didn't I, Cry-Baby?
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: You sure did, Uncle Belvedere.
Ramona Rickettes: Yeah well, you're the future now, boy. You're the only future for this god-forsaken family. And I want you to go out there tonight and sing, boy. I want you to sing your heart out! You can show him now, Belvedere. This took a lot of hubcaps, Cry-Baby.
[it's a motorcycle; everyone says "Wow"]
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Grandmother, Uncle Belvedere, you've made me the happiest juvenile delinquent in Baltimore! And guess what? I met a girl!
Milton Hackett: Looks like somebody lost their laundry.
Lenora Frigid: Hello Cry-Baby. You've scorched me, man.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Later, Lenora.
Lenora Frigid: But Cry-baby, I need a date for tonight's Jukebox Jamboree.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Well, I'm solo, sugar.
Lenora Frigid: [offering to show her breasts] Wanna see these gunboats? I give, Cry-baby. I give bare second on the first date.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Use your mentality and cool down!
Wanda: Yeah, Lenora, your bosoms ain't nothin'!
Hatchet-Face: Better watch it, bozo! You might catch a cold!
Pepper: My brother wouldn't touch your titties with a ten-foot pole. He likes his women bad, Lenora, not cheap!
Pepper: That's my little snare drum.
Susie Q, Pepper Walker's Daughter: And, Ma, I swiped six hubcaps like a big girl!
Cry-Baby: Kiss me! Kiss me hard.
Allison: I've never given a French kiss before.
Cry-Baby: Watch, it's easy. You just open your mouth, and I open mine, and we wiggle our tongues together. And it feels real sexy.
Allison: I won't get mononucleosis, will I?
Lenora Frigid: [to the reporters] Boy, do I have a story for you!
Reporter: How does it feel to be a juvenile delinquent?
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: It feels good, man! I've never been so happy in my life!
[Lenora runs up and throws her arms around Cry-baby right before he's taken away]
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Lenora, you filthy hag! I wouldn't let you shine my boots! Allison's my girl! A-L-L-I-S-O-N fellas!
Reporter: When did he propose?
Lenora Frigid: Just last night. You see, I'm pregnant with his child. Well, you know that Cry-baby is an orphan. He wants his baby to have a real family... the family that he himself never had.
Uncle Belvedere Rickettes: Today's a special day for me and your grandmother. We've been together ten whole years.
Ramona Rickettes: I'm just so proud of all my drape children! Oh Wanda, you sure is pretty in them tight clothes, all painted up like trash!
Wanda: I wish you and Belvedere were my parents.
Ramona Rickettes: Now Milton, boy, you are everything a man should be: you're young, stupid, and... mean!
Milton Hackett: We're gonna play some cool music for you tonight, Ramona.
Ramona Rickettes: And Hatchet-face, oh honey! You're just like me. Now, you put the T in tough! So hard you could've been eating nails for breakfast! But that's the way a woman's got to be these days.
Hatchet-Face: I'd kick a square's ass for you in a minute, Mrs. Rickettes!
Ramona Rickettes: Oh, this is the best gang my grandson could ever have!
Baldwin: We're squares, Allison, and squares got to stick together.
Allison: Yeah, but Drapes are people too. They just look different.
Cry-Baby: I'm gonna sing tonight and thought she might like to hear it.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Baldwin, mind your manners.
Baldwin: This is what we think of your kind of music
Allison: How dare you hit him? You don't own me, Baldwin. I have the right to hear Cry-Baby sing.
Baldwin: Don't get all worked up honey. The punk got what he deserved.
Cry-Baby: [singing] I had my first cigarette before I could walk / And I was strumming this guitar before I could talk, Cause I'm the King.
Cry-Baby: [singing] Yeah, I'm the King.
Cry-Baby: [singing] Oh, I'm the King.
Cry-Baby: [singing] A King Cry Baby with a tear in my eye / If you mess with the King you're gonna cry, baby, cry, baby, cry, baby, cry.
Cry-Baby: [singing] You'll be Queen, and I'll be your King / But if you leave my hive you're gonna feel my sting. / Cause you're my Queen.
Allison: [singing] You're the King.
Cry-Baby: [singing] A King cry baby with my Queen by my side.
Cry-Baby: [singing] # Well I ain't here 'cause I drive too fast. / And I'm too young to have a criminal past. / Some good behavior would be alright / But I don't seem to qualify. / I'm just out for a little fun / But I'm guilty until I'm twenty one / I guess I'm doing time for being young #
Cry-Baby: [singing] # Now, I can't let the right thing stand in my way / Someday, baby, I'll know better / Right now making her pay #
Cry-Baby: [singing] High school hell cats.
Cry-Baby: [singing] High school hell cats.
Cry-Baby: [singing] Come on pick a fight, we wish you would. I love being bad cause it sure feels good. Oh-oh!
[Allison and The Whiffles finish singing "Mr. Sandman"... Uncle Belvidere whisks Allison down a rope]
Milton Hackett: Allison Vernon-Williams, the decision is yours...
Uncle Belvedere Rickettes: You sang with the squares, now sing with the drape!
Baldwin: We'll get married and live in Suburbia. I love you Allison
Allison: I don't want to hurt you Baldwin.
Lenora Frigid: [snatches toy baby away from little girl] I had my baby. Isn't he cute? I'm a square now. Wave to Allison.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: You may be a square Lenora, but you're still a tramp.
[Mrs. Vernon-Williams turns to look at Allison]
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Allison, pick the man who loves you the most.
Wanda's mother: [to Wanda] Let's all put on a folk hat and learn something about a foreign culture!
Allison: It's really wild, but I'm-I'm afraid that I'm not gonna fit in here. You know, with your friends, and stuff.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: You're cool, Allison. You just look square. Underneath it all, I think you're really hep.
Hatchet-Face: Well, what have we here?
Wanda: The first square to ever set foot in Turkey Point.
Pepper: Hey fine mama, welcome to the Jukebox Jamboree!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: These are the Cry-Baby girls. That's Wanda.
Wanda: Dig it, babe. You need a new look!
Hatchet-Face: Don't you got tits? Stick 'em out, for God's sake!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: That's Hatchet-face. She don't mean no harm.
Pepper: The first thing a Cry-Baby girl learns: our bazooms are our weapons!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Now, Pepper's pregnant, but she can fight like a man!
Wanda: I wouldn't be caught dead in a full skirt.
Pepper: Hey girls, what do you think? Let's give Allison here a bad girl beauty makeover. You game?
Allison: Sure! Think I got what it takes?
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: You got it, Allison. You got it raw!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: [to Mrs. Vernon-Williams] I may be a drape, but I love your granddaughter. And if that's a crime, I'll stand convicted, ma'am.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: [to Allison] Heavy hangs the head, that last night wore the crown.
Baldwin: You think you're a big man, Cry-Baby, but you're lower than your dead father! And guess who pulled the switch on that jerk? My grandpappy, that's who! And every Christmas since, my whole family gathers together and he retells the story of the day he electrocuted your daddy, and we just laugh!
Hatchet Face: Let me punch his ugly face!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: It's okay, Hatchet. You're beautiful, baby. But I'll take care of this maggot! Do you know how to play the automobile game called Chicken?
Baldwin: Sure! My car and your jalopy! We head toward one other at full speed. First one to turn the wheel before we smash is a chicken!
The Judge: Is that legal?
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Stop this insanity!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: I got some new rules, sucker! How 'bout you and me on top of the car?
Baldwin: [hesitates] I'm man enough, you big cry baby!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: That's "Mr. Baby" to you! Fellas of the press, this chicken race tonight is for my daddy. And I'd like to sing something in his memory. Something hill-billy... something colored!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Something my daddy would have loved!
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Allison, I'm sorry to get you locked up! But tonight, well, you were the coolest date I ever had!
Allison: But Cry-Baby, who was that girl? Why didn't you tell me you already had a lady friend?
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: That Lenora ain't nothing to me! I swear on my daddy's grave! I'm burning inside to touch you, baby!
Allison: What's the matter, Cry-Baby?
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: Everything's the matter!
Allison: It's just the thunderstorm. Heat lightening. It's sexy.
Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker: It's not sexy! Electricity makes me insane!
The Judge: [to Cry Baby] The only place you're going to sing is in jail.
Pepper: Don't go flip out mamma!
Hatchet-Face: Yeah! Sometimes shook up old ladies...
Hatchet-Face: GET CUT!
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the annual RSVP Talent Show.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Good afternoon, Mrs. Vernon-Williams.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: First, I must apologize for my frazzled nerves. However, this afternoon we were attacked by a gang of juvenile delinquents.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: It's alright. No one was injured. Juvenile delinquents are everywhere. Right here in this community. Boys with long hair and tattoos who spit on the sidewalk. Girls who wear tight slacks. Hysterectomy pants, I call them. And if one of these creatures ever approach you on the street, you are to silently repeat to yourself the four "B's" you learned here at RSVP. And what are they, children, the four "B's"?
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Beauty, brains, breeding and bounty!
Wanda: You wanna learn about America, Inga? In America, we like boys! We like hot boys! Boys with roaming hands and rushing fingers!
Wanda's mother: Wanda honey, want some Ovaltine?
Inga: Ja, ja, ja!
Wanda: Yeah, I'm just a bebop baby, and I don't take nothing from no one! See ya later, daddy-os. Have a cool Yule and a frantic First!
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Baldwin, please be a gentleman and call off this race. It's too dangerous!
Baldwin: Mrs. Vernon-Williams, you were born a square and you're gonna die a square. You're coming with me!
Milton's Father: [to Milton] God's in her gullet. And he's in yours, too!
The Judge: Mrs. Malnorowski, there is no smoking in this courtoom.
Hatchet's Mother: I pay taxes on cigarettes, don't I? And what do I get for those taxes? Happiness? *Hell* no! I get tuberculosis!
Baldwin: [to Allison, about Cry Baby] Honey, his kind of music isn't even on the Hit Parade!
Cry-Baby: I can sing pretty good.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: 'Well,' not 'good.' Haven't you *ever* heard of the English language?
Milton's Father: [to the Teenagers] Let Jesus Christ be your gang-leader!
Allison: Oh, Crybaby, your fingers feel so good!
Cry-Baby: I've been saving it up for a girl like you.
Allison: [to Cry Baby] Mommy and Daddy took separate planes for safety, you know, in case one plane crashed, I'd still have a living parent. But Cry Baby, both planes crashed and I never saw my parents alive again.
Wanda's mother: Hi Kids. Remember, always look both ways before crossing.
Wanda: [embarassed] Mother!
The Judge: [to the courtroom] What a sad vision of today's youth. The juvenile authorities have had it with Drape gangs.
The Judge: [to Hatchet Face] I see that your parents haven't taken the trouble to come to get you.
Hatchet's Father: Oh, yes, we did. You happy now, Mona? Huh? You finally did it. You put your own Mother in an iron lung.
Mrs. Vernon-Williams, Allison's Grandmother: Your Honour, I am Allison's grandmother.
Cry-Baby: [singing] # The woman want a Cadillac, she don't want no man / I used to have a woman, said she loved me so #