Crazy People (1990)
Kathy: Who here wants to be an ad-man?
[several hands go up]
Emory Leeson: Who here wants to be a fire engine?
[everyone raises their hands, with several standing and commenting things like "Ooh, I do!" and "Me! Pick me!"]
Drucker: [reading ad copy] Metamucil: It helps you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you'll get cancer and die.
[Reading a magazine ad]
Drucker: "Paramount Pictures presents 'The Freak.' This movie won't just scare you, it will fuck you up for life." I want to know how the fuck the word "fuck" gets in the New York fucking Times!
Charles Drucker: Harris. Say something honest, no holds barred. GO!
Harris: I like... small boys.
Charles Drucker: About the product, you fucking idiot!
Kathy: You may think phone service stinks since deregulation, but don't mess with us, because we're all you've got. In fact, if we fold, you'll have no damn phones. AT&T - we're tired of taking your crap!
[Drucker is being interviewed on Larry King's TV program]
Charles Drucker: Total honesty in advertising began as a vision I had when I was a young ad man in Milwaukee...
Emory Leeson: I don't believe that jerk!
Saabs: I like Larry King!
Emory Leeson: I'm talking about Drucker! He took all the credit!
Kathy: Pretty girls are breaking everybody's back.
Emory Leeson: But you're pretty. I mean, really pretty.
Kathy: Yes, but I don't have the problems normally associated with prettiness... because, when I was a child, I looked like Ed McMahon.
George: [character can't say anything except variations on "Hello"] Hello. How the hell are ya?
Kathy: Hold me. Please hold me.
Emory Leeson: I am holding you.
Kathy: I know, but it's a woman thing. I have to say it.
Stephen: We can't level, you crazy bastard, we're in advertising!
Robles: Porsche. It's a little too small to get laid IN, but you get laid the minute you get out!
Emory Leeson: Take me away from here; I'll buy you dinner, I'll buy you a restaurant!
Stephen: I have to go.
Emory Leeson: You did quite a bit of silent farting in the car, so you're not perfect either.