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Michael Della Femina
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Unicom is a powerful organization overseeing most of the world after its economic collapse. They have banned computers and robots in an attempt to insure "life, liberty, and the pursuit of economic stability". When a Unicom Synth robot infiltrates a southwest TV station and kills the manager, a revolutionary against the gestapo-like corporation, a lowly Unicom delivery man must help the rest of the station survive through the incoming "thermal storm". Written by
Michael Silva <email@example.com>
STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs ...I don't know what other people (other IMDB reviewers,for example)might think of me,judging me by myself or by my reviews,but I've never thought I was that much of a demanding individual.I've always thought I was quite easy going and undemanding as a person.I try not to winge when things don't go my way,or if I have to do a job for other people.I know other people who've tossed stones at old people's houses,or taken drugs like draw and got pregnant at an early age.Yes,stones are readily available for those nasty,thoughtless people to throw at their own pleasure,yes,draw and sex are there to be consumed whenever the mood suits them.So,okay,I decide to take a risk..I decide to spend a fiver of my hard earned money on a video I had'nt previously seen,which on impulse,I would never usually do.I buy it from this really convienient store in the market,which is'nt perhaps majorly up to date,but still sells old or forgotten films,at cheap prices,which I think is really ace.Judging by the cover and the Sci-Fi genre attached to it,heck,even by the supposedly brilliant plotline on the back of it,I thought Crash And Burn would be a risk worth taking.
Then,after I've seen Coronation Street,I race upstairs to watch this baby.Hello,what's this?Not 2 seconds in,and already I've noticed this is'nt shot like a regular film.That's probably one of the biggest,in my many ,complaints about Crash And Burn:if every other film can manage to be shot like a proper film(even the realy,really bad ones)why the hell can't this one pull itself together and do the same thing?This is shot like a poloroid-cum-video recorder.That was my first step towards getting really angry and fed up with this film.In fact,it was the main thing that bugged me about it throughout.Not once did it appear to improve.I'm aware it has the (V)for video symbol by it,but what,is that a direct excuse for crappiness ?(does this serve as a direct example with the Billy Blanks dud 'Tough And Deadly?).
And,what from the back looked like it was going to serve like an original and exciting Sci-Fi venture went totally downhill from there.The special effects were diabolical,the acting was abysmal,the dialogue was atrocious , although the end line 'you really felt for her?Well,she'd only break your heart...then tear it out'had some credit to it.But that only led to a glaring implausibility error that the hero had had sex with the female robot and not noticed she was'nt a real person.And that only lead to the fact this was the only movie I knew that thought it was being clever by giving a human-looking-robot it's own name,a synthoid.Every other Sci-Fi movie calls them cyborgs.And that only led to the fact that the main 'synthoid' in question is a pathetic Terminator rip-off,that gets done in at the end by an impressive giant robot,which we only see for a brief glimpse then disappears,presumably to a better movie because this giant robot has much more talent than all the actors in this drivel.He was cool. , He quashes him in a standard better suited to the Wrigley's Spearmint gum adverts ,the only thing missing was the 'pluuurp'sound.
It really is very unfair.All I asked for was decent entertainment.Society,and hollywood,really should set better examples than this.*
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