[Alice has just refused an order from the acting president]
Sam: They'll shoot you for this general.
Alice: Sam, old friend, I should find such an angel of mercy.
[Harpoon and Fargo try to advise the acting president on how to react to the nuclear conflict]
Harpoon: Use the pause. Settle things down.
Fargo: The best defense... Cut off the head of the Soviet chicken.
[President talking of the incompetent acting president]
President: We got Alice in one plane and the mad hatter in another.
Fargo: Hell, most Soviet bombers are so old they still use propellers. The Minnesota Air National Guard could probably knock them down.
Harpoon: Well, do you want to get on the phone and order them into the air, Colonel, because every transistor in Minnesota is BURNED OUT!
Cassidy: You would have turned a Minuteman key without thinking!
Moreau: They gave me time to think.
Cassidy: Well congratulations. You just received the first battlefield commission of this war, whatever the hell this thing is.
Hooker: I'll take the job, Major. You can keep the bars.
E-4 Pilot: Win? I thought we were supposed to stop this thing.
F-18 Pilot: Everything's shit duty today.