[bored by dinner conversation]
Shirley Valentine: It's a good job we're not having soup, or else I'd put me head in it and drown meself.
Shirley Valentine: I think sex is like supermarkets, you know, overrated. Just a lot of pushing and shoving and you still come out with very little at the end.
Shirley Valentine: I'm not sayin' she's a bragger, but if you've been to Paradise, she's got a season ticket. She's that type, Gillian, you know. If you've got a headache, she's got a brain tumor.
Shirley Valentine: I'm not sayin' he's bad, my fella. He's just no bleedin' good.
Shirley Valentine: That's right, Millandra, I'm going to Greece for the sex! Sex for breakfast! Sex for dinner! Sex for tea! And sex for supper!
Van Driver: Sounds like a fantastic diet, love!
Shirley Valentine: It is, have you never heard of it? It's called the "F" plan!
Young Shirley Valentine: Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday!
Shirley Valentine: I mean, most fellas ya know, they've got no idea how to talk to a woman.
Costas Caldes: No?
Shirley Valentine: No. They feel they have to take over the conversation. I mean, I mean with most fellas if you say something like, like my favorite season's autumn, they go oh, oh, my favorite season's spring and then you've got 10 minutes of them talkin' about why they like spring and you weren't talkin' about spring, you were talkin' about autumn. So what do you do? You talk about what they want to talk about. Or you don't talk at all. Or you wind up talking to yourself.
Shirley Valentine: Hiya Wall.
[to the camera]
Shirley Valentine: Well what's wrong with that? There's a woman three doors down talks to her microwave. Talking to a microwave! Wall, what's the world coming to ?
Shirley Valentine: Aw God, oh, Jane, I look like the back end of a tram smash.
Shirley Valentine: Jane divorced her husband. I never knew him, it was before I met her. Apparently she came home from work unexpectedly one morning and found him in bed with the milkman. Honest to God, the milkman ! But from that day forward I've noticed she never takes milk in her tea.
Shirley Valentine: So, just think how exciting it'll be if for once you had it at a quarter past six. It'd make headlines. "World exclusive: Joe eats late."
Millandra Bradshaw: Greece, at your age, you and that Jane ? It's obscene !
Costas Caldes: Boat is boat, fuck is fuck.
Shirley Valentine: [re: Millandra] What am I doing? She's only been home for five minutes and I'm already running around like R-2-bleedin' D-2
Shirley Valentine: [at sunset, Shirley sits at a table at the edge of the beach as Joe approaches up the road carrying a suitcase] Oh, I hope he stays for a while. He needs a holiday. He needs to feel the sun on his skin and to be in water that's as deep as forever.
Shirley Valentine: [Joe walks straight past her without any recognition, she turns and speaks from behind him] Joe.
Joe Bradshaw: I didn't recognize ya.
Shirley Valentine: I know. I used to be The Mother. I used to be The Wife. But now I'm Shirley Valentine again. Would you like to join me for a drink?
Joe Bradshaw: Er... thanks.
Shirley Valentine: I think that marriage is like the Middle East - there's no solution.
Shirley Valentine: I know, I'm wicked aren't I?
Shirley Valentine: I enjoy a glass of wine while I'm preparing the evening meal... Chips and Egg
Shirley Valentine: I was never really interested in school after that.
Shirley Valentine: I became a rebel.
Shirley Valentine: I used to wear my school skirt so high you would have thought it was a serviette.
Shirley Valentine: I was marvelous.
Shirley Valentine: I used to exude boredom from every pore and I hated everything.
Shirley Valentine: Those travel sickness pills mustn't be working.I still feel sick and I've taken four already. And I've only travelled up and down the stairs.