Dr. Van Kamp: When you get a bunch of rich fat people who are determined to get thin at any cost, some of them are going to die. It's a rule of thumb.
To-Bel: [to her husband] He explored certain dark parts of my continent previously undiscovered by your feeble playwrightin' ass, I got to thinkin' he was Lewis *and* Clark.
To-Bel: [to Howard who's looking for suppositories int he fridge] Why dontcha try butterin' some nice corn-on-the-cob and stickin' that up y'ass?
Howard: Oh my balls! I have no balls Liz! All I have is a fat set of petty dictators sewn up in cheap leather.
Lisabeth Hepburn-Saravian: Howard I am really worried about you.
Howard: A couple of greedy monsters dangling in a smarmy woman's purse. the kind you buy at Q-Mart. Monogamy was my kingdom and they have exiled me!