Lloyd Dobler: Why can't you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?"
Constance: Gee, it's easy.
Lloyd Dobler: One question: are you here 'cause you need someone, or 'cause you need me?... Forget it, I don't care.
Corey Flood: That'll never be me, that'll never be me. That'll never be, never be me. NO... NO, NEVER, NEVER, EVER. And don't you EVER THINK IT.
Lloyd Dobler: Joe. Joe. She's written 65 songs... 65. They're all about you. They're all about pain.
Joe: So what's up?
Corey Flood: Brains stick with brains. The bomb could go off and their mutant genes would form the same cliques.
Constance: Why do you eat that stuff? There's no food in your food.
Lloyd Dobler: Hey my brother, can I borrow a copy of your "Hey Soul Classics"?
Jason Dobler: No, my brother, you have to go buy your own.
Lloyd Dobler: She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.
Diane Court: Are you shaking?
Lloyd Dobler: No.
Diane Court: You're shaking.
Lloyd Dobler: I don't think so.
Diane Court: You're cold.
Lloyd Dobler: I don't think I am.
Diane Court: Then why are you shaking?
Lloyd Dobler: I don't know. I think I'm happy.
Diane Court: Nobody thinks it will work, do they?
Lloyd Dobler: No. You just described every great success story.
Lloyd Dobler: I am looking for a dare to be great situation.
Lloyd Dobler: The rain on my car is a baptism, the new me, Ice Man, Power Lloyd, my assault on the world begins now.
Corey Flood: Diane Court doesn't go out with guys like you. She's a brain.
D.C.: Trapped in the body of a game-show hostess.
Mike Cameron: I don't know you very well, you know, but I wanted to ask you - how'd you get Diane Court to go out with you?
Lloyd Dobler: I called her up.
Mike Cameron: But how come it worked? I mean, like, what are you?
Lloyd Dobler: I'm Lloyd Dobler.
Mike Cameron: This is great. This gives me hope. Thanks.
Lloyd Dobler: I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
Diane Court: I just can't have any social life right now.
Lloyd Dobler: Don't worry about it. We're just having coffee. We'll be anti-social.
Diane Court: Be friends?
Lloyd Dobler: Yeah. With potential.
Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
Joe: By choice, man.
Lloyd Dobler: You probably got it all figured out, Corey. If you start out depressed everything's kind of a pleasant surprise.
D.C.: Lloyd, why do you have to be like this?
Lloyd Dobler: 'Cause I'm a guy. I have pride.
Corey Flood: You're not a guy.
Lloyd Dobler: I am.
Corey Flood: No. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't be a guy.
Jim Court: You're not a permanent part of her life. You're a distraction.
Lloyd Dobler: I'm the distraction that's going with her to England, sir.
Lloyd Dobler: What I really want to do with my life - what I want to do for a living - is I want to be with your daughter. I'm good at it.
Lloyd Dobler: You must chill. You must chill.
[on choosing a career]
Lloyd Dobler: How many of them really know what they want, though? I mean, a lot of them think they have to know, right? But inside they don't really know, so... I don't know ,but I know that I don't know.
Corey Flood: Hi Joe, How are you? I love you.
Joe: I love you too.
Corey Flood: You invade my soul
Joe: I want to get back together, Mimi is gonna go to college and I'm gonna be alone and I'm gonna break up with her before she leaves, have sex with me.
Lloyd Dobler: Kickboxing. Sport of the future.
Diane Court: I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just don't know why they have to happen at the same time. I just wish I could work out some schedule. Am I just babbling? Do you know what I mean?
Lloyd Dobler: No.
Lloyd Dobler: Okay, how ya doing? I'm Lloyd, and we're gonna watch the movie "Cocoon." I've never actually seen it, but I heard it's very good, it makes you happy, thats a good thing. It's about a group of older people who go to outer space... hope I didnt give anything away there.
Lloyd Dobler: Just knowing that a version like that exists, knowing that just for a minute she felt that and wrote "I can't help loving you". That has be a good thing.
Lloyd Dobler: I'm gonna take Diane Court out again.
Corey Flood: Well, that's unlikely.
Lloyd Dobler: Is the movies a good second date? You know, as a date?
Corey Flood: Well, you never had a first date.
Lloyd Dobler: Yes we did. I sat across from her at a mall. We ate together. We ate. That's eating. Sharing an important physical event.
Corey Flood: That's not even a scam.
Lloyd Dobler: What's a scam?
Corey Flood: Going out as friends.
D.C.: No, it's not. Scam is lusting.
Corey Flood: Did you sleep with her?
Lloyd Dobler: I admit nothing.
D.C.: Lloyd, it's us.
Corey Flood: Look at his face. He did the deed.
D.C.: You're an inspiration, Lloyd. You should go on the 700 Club or something.
Lloyd Dobler: Oh... you must think I'm a dick.
Diane Court: No, Lloyd, we shared the most intimate thing two people can share...
Lloyd Dobler: You shared it with a dick.
Corey Flood: [Lloyd's letter to Diane] Dear Diane, I'll always be there for you. All the love in my heart, Lloyd.
Corey Flood: I'm sorry, it's just that you're a really nice guy and we don't want to see you get hurt.
Lloyd Dobler: I want to get hurt!
Denny: Man, all you gotta do is find a girl that looks just like her, nail her, and then dump her, man. Get her of your mind.
Mark: Your only mistake is that you didn't dump her first. Diane Court is a show pony. You need a stallion, my friend. Walk with us and you walk tall.
Luke: Bitches, man.
Lloyd Dobler: [after leaving the Gas & Sip guys] That was a mistake.
Diane Court: I love you.
Lloyd Dobler: What?
Diane Court: I love you. How many more times do I have to say it?
Lloyd Dobler: One more would be nice.
Diane Court: I love you... please. I love you.
Lloyd Dobler: [leaving the last of a series of messages on Diane's answering machine] "Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an apocalypse, in which case it's not your fault. I'm been thinking about all these things and... you're probably standing there monitoring. And one more thing - about the letter. Nuke it. Flame it. Destroy it. - It hurts me to know it's out there. Later."
Lloyd Dobler: You used to be fun. You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious... and I mean that in the best way - I mean it as a compliment!
Constance: I was hilarious once, wasn't I?
Diane Court: You have to meet Bess. She's amazing. She's 93, she's a writer... and I told her about you.
Lloyd Dobler: [Stops walking, stands in front of Diane] Wait, wait... You told her about me?
Jim Court: [Walks by the adjacent hall, Sees to the two and continues walking]
Diane Court: [Embarrassed, toys with a nearby water fountain. ] Yes.
Lloyd Dobler: What'd you say?
Diane Court: [Embarrassed] Umm... Just meet her.
IRS Agent Stewart: Your income, Mr Court, hasn't changed substantially in seventeen years.
Jim Court: That's right.
IRS Agent Stewart: Why would you stay so long with an operation that is so clearly not a growth enterprise?
Jim Court: Taking care of people isn't a growth enterprise, Mr Sims. I hope you write that down in your report, I'd like your bosses to read it.
Joe: Dude, where'd she dump you, man?
Lloyd Dobler: In the car.
Denny: Oh man, your car? Man, Dissed in the Malibu. Thats your castle, man.
Joe: [Lloyd has just explained his feelings for Diane] Dude, I don't even feel that way about my car, man.
Diane Court: Lloyd, I'm sorry.
Lloyd Dobler: What do you want?
Diane Court: I'm sorry.
Lloyd Dobler: What do you want?
Diane Court: My father's guilty. He lied to me, he lied to everybody. I just left home... I need you.
Lloyd Dobler: You do?
Diane Court: Everything else means nothing to me. If I hurt you again, I'll die.
Lloyd Dobler: What? I'm sorry I said that. Forget I said it, it's what I thought I meant, but...
Diane Court: Lloyd...
Lloyd Dobler: ...forget it.
Diane Court: [making air quotes] "I love you," okay?
Lloyd Dobler: What is that? What are you doing with your hands?
Diane Court: Don't! Don't be - !
Lloyd Dobler: Talk to me, you're talking like that girl, Sheila!
Diane Court: Don't be mean, this is hard for me too.
Lloyd Dobler: [pauses] Then don't do it.
Diane Court: Shit.
[She turns away from him and takes the pen from her coat pocket]
Diane Court: Just take this pen, please, and write me?
[She puts the pen on the car dashboard, and turns away again]
Lloyd Dobler: I can't believe this. You just broke up with me.
[They both sit in silence]