In the future, the threat of global takeover by cyborg units has forced Earth to outlaw their use. But when four female androids are smuggled to Earth, Jack Ford is assigned to track them ... See full summary »
Fred Olen Ray
The Pig has a plan to eradicate some people with a freeze bomb that instantly freezes people to death. It is up to Detective Ash to stop him and protect the woman with the secret to the ice... See full summary »
Eric is a secret agent currently working as security guard for senator Dilly. The senator is the main advocate for a new kind of police officer: the Tracker, an perfect und nearly ... See full summary »
Don 'The Dragon' Wilson,
Kol is an evil guy about to be executed on a distant spaceship. He manages to escape on a shuttle and make his way to some woods in America. The commander of the spaceship decides to send ... See full summary »
Fred Olen Ray
John Phillip Law,
In a post-apocalyptic world where rollerblading is the chief means of travel, the evil Pharoah sends his minions outside the Wheel Zone to abduct a psychic. The psychic has been trained in ... See full summary »
This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and I love it.
This movie gets a 5 out of 10 not because it deserves five points, in fact, I don't think the quality is such that it deserves one point. But it is just so god damn bad that I love it enough to boost up the points.
To begin with, Richard Gesswein is the worst leading man ever to grace the silver screen. They had to get someone to pull a voice-over for his role, Coldyron (Yeah, that's a tough name), as well as his leading lady, Dr. Steele's part. Dr. Steele, by the way, is a bodybuilder woman with a skunk on her head.
The opening scene reveals the end of the movie immediately telling you that you are wasting an hour and a half. These three guys (the director, writer and star) came up with enough money to take RoboCop, The Terminator, and Judge Dredd (which was merely in comic book form at the time) into one completely awful masterpiece.
When we go back to the beginning of the story, the clock strikes 5:00 and Coldyron wakes up. Just as a quick note to the viewers, the filmmakers then had the clock read 4:50, as if to say, "Please, it's not too late for you, turn off the TV and RUN!" Of course, I didn't follow the directions, I just laughed. Shortly thereafter he fills up a cup of coffee with far too much sugar and you're thinking, "Wow, he sure likes sugar." (This is a joke that you will soon be hoping the filmmakers didn't find to be funny). He grabs carrots from the fridge and heads outside, to his horse. You think the carrots are for the horse, right? But he gives the horse the coffee! THAT'S why there was so much sugar! Then HE eats the carrots himself! AHA! SO FUNNY!! This is about how great the entire movie is.
Absolutely nothing makes sense in this movie. Gesswein says that ROTOR will be ready in 25 years, then says he needs at least 4. Shortly thereafter a Native American character named Shoeboogie puts his headphones in the wrong place and sparks ROTOR. It just makes no sense at all.
I won't go into too many more details, but the worst part of the entire movie must be the fact that ROTOR can take off his sunglasses AND SEE INTO THE PAST! Apparently a function called SENSOR RECALL was built into his system, but it is so insanely dumb that the screenwriter didn't even bother trying to come up with some sort of half-assed explanation. None of the technical jargon even sounds like it makes sense, but he didn't even try going into sensor recall.
You have to see SENSOR RECALL in action to truly appreciate it's sheer madness.
At the conclusion of the movie, Coldyron utilizes a technique Shoeboogie spoke of earlier to kill ROTOR, as if to tie everything together in some sort of nice neat way. One of the problems is that Shoeboogie never spoke to Coldyron. Another is that a few pieces of string defeat this unstoppable supercop.
Another is that I am trying to make sense of a movie in which the comic relief is delivered by a Robot who can think on his own, but the supercop won't be ready for another 25 years.
ROTOR is the worst movie ever made. If you can find something worse, please bring it to me, because I need it.
Please see ROTOR. It is so bad, you will hate me for making you watch it.
And then you will make all of your friends watch it...and you will love me once more.
"Look at these cheekbones: I'm either an Indian or a sissy. And, heh heh, I sure ain't no sissy." (or something like that...) -Shoeboogie
13 of 14 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful to you?