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| Index | 12 reviews in total |
12 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
Greatest B-Movie of all time. Period., 11 September 2004
Author:
A C from IN
Wow. Just... wow. If you are into schlocky horror films, then this is
just beyond words. Everything you ever wanted is here: Killer shoes,
zombies, strange directing (some characters open up an elevator door
and some girl is getting killed as a strobe light blinks and someone
sits on a pie or something -- what?!), and plenty of t&a. Oh, and don't
forget Satan. And a guy whose voice is overdubbed to sound really evil.
And really, REALLY cheap FX. And computers who kill people. And rapping
aliens. And amazingness.
I mean, the plot of this movie is simple: Earth is about to be taken
over, so people play basketball to decide the fate of the world. If
this DOESN'T sound amazing, then this isn't the film for you. However,
this film is AMAZINGLY entertaining, hilarious, and just completely
over-the-top. In a lot of ways, it's similar to Troma films (especially
Class of Nuke'Em High) except it is even more clever, and there
actually seems to be an attempt on the director's part to make
something more out of this film than a cheap B-movie.
I really don't know why more people don't know of this film since it
used to be on USA's Up All Night, but you can easily snag a copy off of
Amazon for a dollar. Really, I can't say it enough: The best trashy
B-Movie horror/comedy/whatever film ever. See it now.
10/10.
9 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
"Life is a bitch, cause we're all going to die at Monster High.", 3 January 2002
Author:
BHorrorWriter from Ohio, USA
Well, I attained a copy of this movie off Ebay, remembering watching it from
the good ole USA Up All Night days...
True campy hiliarity! This movie is stupid, funny, hilarious, and a down
right good time to watch. Nudity, blood, monsters, aliens, nerds, horny
teens, drugs, kill pot plants, the most hiliarious names every given to
characters....there is so much wrapped into this movie, it seems it could
explode from so much camp.
It is sad to see this is the only movie the Director ever made...He truly
had an Eye for Horror/comedy...I want a DVD release of this film...It should
be kept underground...Mainstream this bad-boy...I want deleted scenes,
Commentary, etc....I love this movie..
9 out of 10
10 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
It makes one long for the majestic time of Gilbert Gottfried's USA Up All Night, 12 July 2000
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Author:
zmaturin from Pleasant Valley High
Lately I find myself hopelessly over the hill, frantically scrambling for
vestiges of my long-gone youth to validate my current adult existence. Being
that I'm only twenty makes this kind of hard, and besides, I spent my
adolescence watching the Gilbert Gottfried magnum opus USA Up All Night. I
remembered that as a youngster I enjoyed the Up All Night staple "Monster
High", which usually aired after "Dr. Alien" or "Surf Nazis Must
Die".
Watching it again now, I found it pretty stupid. I think the reason that I
liked it as a ten-year-old was that this movie seems to have been made by
ten-year-olds (not unlike "Bats"). It's packed with corny jokes and
pointless scenes, and has some pretty awful acting, even worse and
over-blown than Shannon Elizabeth in "Scary Movie", and that's no easy
feat.
However, I must applaud the sheer volume of stuff that they packed into
this, a "quantity over quality" sort of thing. This movie has got a mummy, a
zombie, a killer computer nerd robot, a walking gargoyle, a huge, sentient
clump of marijuana, shoes that eat people, and two aliens so annoying they
seem to have come from Planet Charles Nelson Reilly. These ghoul's
ring-leader is Mr. Armageddon, the embodiment of all evil, who kind of looks
like a doughy, aged Corey Feldman.
Oh, I figured out another reason that I liked this- there's a cute girl
playing the female love interest. What's odd is, the girl and her breasts
are played by two different actresses, so every time a scene calls for
nudity (which is often, remember, this was made by ten-year-old boys) they
cut to a disorienting shot of a headless torso. This made me wonder: The gal
playing the lead was pretty awful actress, but they wanted her so
desperately that they were willing to let her use a body double? There was
no other actress that was just as bad AND would show her breasts?
Weird.
Anyway, this is a pretty simple-minded, innocuous bit of entertainment. The
people making it were probably having a lot of fun, and there are a few
funny bits (like the finale's "basketball on the rim" gag, worthy of a
"Naked Gun" movie). If you're a little kid or a heavy drinker you'll
probably love it.
3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Campy and fun, 17 April 2009
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Author:
TheFiendsThatPlagueThee from United States
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Monsters and demons. High school. The end of the world. A prophet of
doomsday. A bit of gratuitous nudity and sex. A little bit of gore.
That pretty much sums up Monster High, though I failed to mention that
the effects are so low budget they're laughable, the acting is
(intentionally?) hammy and the whole movie is full of camp and cheese.
And what can I say about the plot? Maybe that there isn't one. Oh yeah,
and the humor is really quite silly and juvenile, and it's got that
"Eighties" feel to it that really dates it.
Well, all that makes it sound like this is a bad movie, and I guess it
is. It's nowhere near the worst movie I've ever seen, but it is a fun,
low budget over the top horror comedy that isn't going to win any best
picture awards in the near future. But it did make me smile and even
laugh a few times and was fun enough that I don't feel I wasted my
time.
Not for everyone, but if you like campy, silly, low budget horror
comedies, then this might just suit you.
4 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
A great off-beat 80's flick!, 21 July 1999
Author:
Parx (parx@cconnect.net) from North Carolina
I found this movie very amusing, it's use of off-beat and cheesy humor is absolutely wonderful! I thought the abstract storyline was very well put together, and is not your typical 80's high school movie. It has all things that make a great movie, blood and gore (check out the excellent microwave scene!), nudity, campy humor, and it even has a killer pot plant! I highly recommend this movie to anyone. If you ever see it in your local video store, check it out, it rocks!
Undoubtedly fun, 25 September 2011
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Author:
tomgillespie2002 from United Kingdom
Two bald aliens arrive on Earth with the Doomsday Device, something
they have stolen from their own alien planet, much to the behest of the
Monster-in-Charge. They unwittingly unleash Mr. Armageddon (David
Marriott) upon an all-American high school, and soon this long-
fingernailed-bringer-of-doom is busy a-rapin', a-killin', and basically
a-f****n' with every kid in the school. Dorky loner Norm (Dean Iandoli)
is too busy lusting after foreign exchange student Candice Cane (get it
- played by Diana Frank) to notice the arrival of horny gargoyle
statues, the living dead, and deadly giant marijuana plants. But when
he does, he strikes a deal with Armageddon to have basketball game to
end all games, and possibly the world.
I'm sure you can gather from the description that this isn't a film to
take too seriously. It's a very 80's high school horror/sex flick that
is very aware of what it's target audience wants - blood, tits, and
goofy humour. And it delivers all that in abundance. It has everything
a shlock hound could want. Where else can you find a monster with a
computer for a head? Or a teen that gets eaten by his shoes? Or alien
twins that were failed rappers on their own planet? Probably nowhere.
This is of course an awful film. But where it lacks in subtlety and
intelligence, it makes up for in sheer volume and creativity.
The edits come thick and fast. The film cuts back and forth between
different characters and locations as if it were filmed by a giddy
teenager. This approach certainly keeps the film fun and interesting,
which is undoubtedly the sole aim of the film. Fans of Troma will love
it, as will fans of 80's teen sex flicks such as Porky's and zero-taste
gross-out comedies a la Animal House. Special mention must go to the
creation of Mr. Armageddon, who dons a crap cape and a long pinky
fingernail, and has a voice which is deeper than Barry White. Clearly
actor David Marriott, who had a short career starring in B-movie action
films, is having a great time, as did I watching him. I feel guilty
that I liked this film, as it is indeed awful.
1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Horrible in every way imaginable with literally no redeeming qualities!, 6 February 2010
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Author:
Tommy Nelson from Long Beach, California
Bad movies can be hilarious! They can make us laugh or in some cases
cry, and they later are remembered as hilarious cult gems that people
quote in everyday life. That seems to be the ultimate goal of the awful
film, and only certain movies ever make it to that level. Some make it
to a much smaller cultish level of bad where friends gather to watch it
and laugh, but most have never heard, nor want to, of the movie. Then
there's movies like this. You start off saying, "Boy, I know this will
be horrible, but I bet I'll get a good laugh!", and by a mere 20
minutes in you just pray this thing will be ending very soon. This is a
very annoying, and awful movie, and the overload of humor results in an
audience sensory overload where everything goes dead, except for
boredom which stays very much alive.
Nerdy 35 year old student Norm is quite infatuated with foreign
exchange student Candice Cain, but oh no!, the end of the world is
coming! Mr. Armageddon, a voice modulated ugly middle aged creeper who
molests and kills the students at this high school is going to end the
world. This weirdo was freed from his prison by two flamboyant aliens,
Dume and Glume, who go around this same school zapping people with
their stupid looking guns. Meanwhile all kinds of crazy stuff happens
at this school like a mummy coming to life, a killer pot plant, a
tennis shoe monster, and many other ridiculous creatures.
It's hard to decide what to criticize first with this thing, so I'll go
with the least discussed first. This movie has some truly unbearable
music! It sounds like bad early 80s video game music, and made this
cornball movie even more cornball than ever imaginable.
The acting in this is really bad, but compared to most other aspects of
this movie, the acting is quite masterful. The actors are actually
speaking with straight faces so they get ten points above the writers
and director. The characters are stupid, and not funny in the least.
There is a random narrator guy who apparently is Mr. Apacolypse's
relative, and he is the most random unfunny guy ever, and the actual
female narrator has a horrible speaking voice. She sounds like a voice
over for a cheap early 90s VHS trailer.
Nothing about this movie is remotely funny in any way at all. The lack
of plot makes this thing boring, the acting is atrocious the writing is
also, and this movie nearly bored me to death. Don't see it!
My rating: BOMB out of ****. 84 mins. R for constant nudity, language,
drug use and sexuality.
1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Better than "Mr and Mrs Smith" (or "Pearl Harbor") in so many ways, IMHO., 31 March 2007
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Author:
fender5803 from United States
When I worked on this movie in 1989 I was new to the business and could tell nobody was out to make a masterpiece or win any awards except maybe in a few cases and then masterpiece would be the wrong word. (Some that worked on this movie have gone on to win big big awards) I am trying to say that on any movie most of the cast and crew (above the line included) work hard and it is well known that it will be great if the movie is released at all, in any market or format. (I suppose some might hope just the opposite, thus the Alan Smithee credit). "Monster High" was just a comedy and was not trying to hard to be great. Just to be fun and silly and great in it's own way. I think, IMHO, it did just this. If I remember right anything that would get it a R rating such as nakedness was shot after principal photography was finished. (I am not sure what it's final rating is) It was a lot of fun and hard work and I had a easy job kind of... DTz'r
2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
masterpiece of crap, 17 April 2005
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Author:
da_weazle from Netherlands
I saw this movie when I was eleven years old (when I liked basically every film I saw for some sort of reason) and thought it was the worst movie ever. Nowadays I'm not sure which film is worse this one ore urban menace, one thing is for certain though both have to be seen to be believed. So my advice is to buy both of em you should be able to find both of them really cheap and their worth every penny!!!! p.s. the true worst film ever is of course pearl harbor, but that one is so bad it isn't even funny anymore (in fact I don't think of it as a film, movie, flick or any of those I personally think it's what getting you soul ripped out of you must feel like) whereas these I think were intended by the makers to be so stupid you just have to see them and are still funny after repeated viewings (although not in a row!!!)
1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Jesus were you sleeping when it was made?, 10 October 2008
Author:
Lord_Darcia5 from United States
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
My wife and I just watched it together and she laughed through it. For me I almost had a stroke from having to watch this piece of boring crap. I thought Troll 2 was bad but here comes along a new competitor. The acting wasn't that bad but the story sucked. The only thing that got me through was the titties. Of course you know they are going to win in the end, and the bad guys lose. Wow, I didn't see that coming, but my favorite character was Mr. Armagedon. He was funny but the rest sucked, there would be scenes of blood that would come out of nowhere. Please, don't watch this if you don't have a hour twenty to waste of your life. Please, if you want to see evil in film just watch this gay, crappy, stupid, Jewish, plot hole of hell watch this nightmare.
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