Miracle Mile (1988)
Harry Washello: I know how this sounds, but I answered the phone out there and the guy on the other end he was very, very frantic. He thought I was his dad fro a minute, I think he just had the wrong area code.
Fred the Cook: Yeah, so what?
Harry Washello: So he was calling from a missile silo! He said that they were locked in, 50 minutes and counting, to shoot off their nuclear wad. We would be getting it back in an hour and 10. I mean he meant that we're at war! Nuclear war!
Wilson: [Harry is forcing him to drive the wrong way on Wilshire Boulevard, at gunpoint] What's the hurry, Harry?
Harry Washello: I gotta catch a plane.
Wilson: The airport's the other way.
Harry Washello: I forgot something.
Nightwatchman: I don't pump gas. You're gonna have to pump that yourself.
[Tosses the pump keys to Harry]
Wilson: [Harry tosses the pump keys to Wilson] Y'all got the guns.
Gerstead: Pal, it's after four in the morning. All of the helicopter pilot bars are closed.
Julie Peters: Hell, I'll write an article about all this for "Esquire." Someone'll probably make a TV movie out of it.
Julie Peters: People are gonna help each other, aren't they? Rebuilding things?
Harry Washello: I think it's the insects's turn.
Gerstead: [watching a missile pass overhead] Look at that baby *go*! It's going all the way to Tia-fucking-juana.
Harry Washello: Who is this?
Chip: Oh. Where's my dad? Go get my dad!
Harry Washello: Your dad? T-t-there's nobody here! W-w-where is he supposed to be?
Chip: How the hell would I know? You're in Orange County and I'm in North Dakota!
Harry Washello: Hey, is this is some kind of a prank or something?
Chip: A prank? A prank? Oh, God! Is this 254-9411?
Harry Washello: Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is! But listen - it's just a phone booth. I-I-it's a phone booth in a coffee shop. I heard it ringing...
Chip: Isn't this 714? Did I dial 213? Shit!
[to Harry, as he is taking care of a sudden nosebleed]
Waitress: What did she do? Slap you through the phone?
Harry Washello: I was just wondering if you know if anyone here had a son named Chip.
Stewardess: I had an uncle named Chett.
[making the list of great minds for Landa]
Waitress: What about Pat Riley?
Mike: Pat Riley? Come on!
Waitress: She's a leader. My cousin knows...
Mike: J-just write down what I say, okay? We're talking Mensa.
Waitress: [writing down] Mensa.
Mike: That's not a person, that's an organization. People like Linus Pauling. Write this down. Jane and Tom. And Harry Belafonte.
Waitress: Ah, what about Joyce Brothers? She's smart.
Mike: [shouts] Fuck Joyce Brothers! Danny Berrigan, and his brother. Bobby Seale. Dick Gregory.
Waitress: You have these people's phone numbers?
Landa: [on the phone] Mr. Sagan? Yes, I understand, I do apologize, but what I'm about to tell you is something quite horrific.
Lucy Peters: Wait a minute! You just tell me what the hell's going on.
Harry Washello: Mrs. Peters, in a half-an-hour there's going to be a full-on nuclear attack. The missiles are on their way now. L.A.'s going to be a desert again very soon.
Transvestite: There's lots of good actors in this town with insomnia and nothing better to do than stupid things like that.
Harry Washello: Okay, well I answered the phone because it was ringing, and the guy he just started yelling, 'Dad! Dad! It's happening! The Big One! We're locked in! Thor Arthur 66DDZ.'
Landa: Wait a minute! Say that last part again!
Harry Washello: It's Thor, Arthur, 66DDZ. And then he started going on 'Oh my God! We shoot off our wad in 50 minutes, you're gonna get it back in an hour and ten!' And then I said something, and he realized I wasn't his dad. And so I asked him if it was a prank, and he went 'A prank? Oh God, a prank?' He was just trying to call his dad in Orange County. And then he said 'They see me on the monitor', and someone came in, and he started going 'yes sir, no sir', and they shot him. I heard gunshots, and then someone else got on the line and I said 'hey hey hey, is this a joke?', and all he said was 'Forget everything you've just heard, and go back to sleep'.
Mike: That Thor Arthur thing meant something to you, I know it did. Is that the code for it?
Landa: It's possible.
Harlan: How the hell would you know, lady?
Landa: Because I used to date a guy who worked at the RAND Corporation. I've been trying to reach a few of our friends who could tell me if the unthinkable is being thought about in D.C. At this very moment, 4 out of 5 of them are in transit to the extreme Southern Hemisphere. I find that more than just very curious.
Mike: So what do we do?
Landa: We have less than 46 minutes until we'll know, and then everyone will. I'd like a head start. The streets will be jammed. I'm ready to make a commitment to getting to the airport as fast as possible, flying out from there.
Mike: Where do you go so the radiation won't get us?
Waitress: What about Mexico? Or Hawaii! Let's go to Hawaii!
Landa: No tropics!
Mike: Ocean clouds, rain, forget it. Got to be a desert, right? Like the Sahara or the Gobi, fuck the Gobi.
Landa: We're going to Antarctica if it's true.
Mike: Wait a minute, you said desert!
Landa: There's a valley there with zero rainfall, plenty of fresh water in the snow for generations if need be.
Wilson: I had to do that back there, man, I had to, you understand, huh? I had stolen stuff in my trunk, I had tickets, I had warrants, man. I had to squirt them but THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO SHOOT!
Harry Washello: [on police radio] Hello what are the latest on the evacuation plans?
Radio Cop: Please identify yourself.
Harry Washello: This is Mr. Peters with the Atomic Energy Commission.
Radio Cop: What?
Harry Washello: We have a Code Arthur situation, haven't you been informed?
Radio Cop: We have nothing at all in the headquarters, sir. What's the source of your information?
Harry Washello: [puts radio down] They don't know yet!
Wilson: Is that what it is? A meltdown?
Harry Washello: Yeah, it is.
Transvestite: Come on! Nobody believes this, do they? I mean if I said it, nobody would.
Landa: You must know some pilots, any charter lines?
Stewardess: Well actually, it's my sister's outfit.
Stewardess: I hope this isn't happening, I've had real awful dreams about atom bombs.
Landa: [on her mobile phone] This is Landa in Los Angeles, do you have today's code?
Landa: Can you please tell me, are we at forced readiness? Has that been confirmed?
Fred the Cook: Landa, you said we had to strike FIRST if it ever came down to it, remember you told me that? Do you remember?
Landa: I remember, Fred.
Fred the Cook: Preemptive first strike!
Waitress: They have to evacuate us first, don't they?
Mike: You tell me where to! When was the last time they told you what to do incase. There's no plan!
Landa: [on her mobile phone] Tell her to break into the ski shop in Culver City, tell them to get all the down clothing he can. Down! Down! Yeah, like a duck, the super warm stuff, you know, all he can get.
Harry Washello: Can anybody here fly a helicopter? Listen, it's an emergency, it's for a heart transplant. Can anybody fly a helicopter?
Power Lifter: Hey, I can.
Harry Washello: You can fly a chopper?
Power Lifter: Bell jets, Hueys, pretty rusty at comeback though, I'll need bucks.
Harry Washello: Whatever you want, okay? But we gotta go now, it's not really for a transplant, alright? We'll all be dead if we don't get out of here, it's a matter of minutes.
Power Lifter: What's the problem?
Harry Washello: Toxic fire, cyanide, the wind's starting to blow in this direction, a lot of people are going to die, we gotta go now.
Power Lifter: If shit like that's coming down, I gotta bring somebody, okay?
Harry Washello: Oh hey man, there's no time.
Power Lifter: Then shoot me.
Harry Washello: Alright, go ahead, go, hurry.
Power Lifter: [goes to the door, whistles] Leslie! Come on! We're going!
Leslie: What the hell's going on?
Power Lifter: Any problem?
Harry Washello: No, no there's no problem.
Julie Peters: Do you know what they're talking about, Harry? Do you? You and that kid didn't shoot somebody, did you?
Harry Washello: They were blinded, they just pulled their own trigger and then blew themselves up.
Waitress: Why would we be at war? There's no big crisis anywhere.
Mike: Not that we know about! There's never a good enough reason why.