James Bond: This is no place for you, Q. Go home.
Q: Oh, don't be an idiot, 007. I know exactly what you're up to, and quite frankly, you're going to need my help. Remember, if it hadn't been for Q Branch, you'd have been dead long ago.
[opens a case]
Q: Everything for a man on holiday. Explosive alarm clock - guaranteed never to wake up anyone who uses it. Dentonite toothpaste - to be used sparingly, the latest in plastic explosive.
James Bond: I could do with some plastic.
President Hector Lopez: There has been a mistake with my cheque. Look at it! It's *half* the usual amount.
Franz Sanchez: You were very quiet when I was arrested. Remember, you're only president... for life.
[El Presidente takes the cheque and leaves]
Franz Sanchez: Señor Bond, you got big cojones. You come here, to my place, without references, carrying a piece, throwing around a lot of money... but you should know something: nobody saw you come in, so nobody has to see you go out.
[Killifer, who took the bribe, is dangling on a rope over shark-infested water]
Ed Killifer: There's $2 million in that suitcase. I'll split it with you.
James Bond: [menacingly] You earned it. You keep it, Old Buddy!
[Throws the case at him, knocking him into the water]
Sharkey: God, what a terrible waste.
[Bond glares at Sharkey]
Sharkey: Of money.
[Bond stops glaring]
Della Leiter: [kissing Bond] That's a custom, you see. The bride always gets to kiss her best man.
James Bond: I thought it was the other way around.
Della Leiter: Aww...
[kisses him again]
Della Leiter: Oh, James, would you mind? Felix is still in the study and we've got to cut this cake.
James Bond: I'll do anything for a woman with a knife.
[M confronts Bond in Key West]
M: You were supposed to be in Istanbul LAST NIGHT! I'm afraid this unfortunate Leiter business has
M: clouded your judgment! *You have a job to do*! I expect you on a plane this afternoon!
James Bond: I haven't finished here, sir.
M: Leave it to the Americans! It's their mess. Let them clear it up.
James Bond: SIR! They're not going to DO ANYTHING!
James Bond: [calms down] I owe it to Leiter. He's put his life on the line for me many times.
M: Oh SPARE ME this sentimental RUBBISH! He knew the risks.
James Bond: And his WIFE?
M: This private vendetta of yours could easily compromise Her Majesty's government. You have an assignment, and I expect you to carry it out *objectively* and *professionally*!
James Bond: Then you have my resignation, sir!
M: [incensed] We're not a country club, 007!
M: Effective immediately, your licence to kill is revoked, and I require you to hand over your weapon. Now. I need hardly remind you that you're still bound by the Official Secrets Act.
James Bond: I guess it's, uh... a farewell to arms.
James Bond: Pam, this is Q, my "uncle". Uncle, this is "Miss Kennedy," my "cousin."
Q: Ah! We must be related.
[a fork lift truck bursts through a wall with a Heller impaled on the forks]
Pam Bouvier: Oh, God, it's Heller.
James Bond: Yeah. Looks like he came to a dead end.
[explosions are heard]
James Bond: Come on!
[Asked why he has a gun]
James Bond: In my business you prepare for the unexpected.
Franz Sanchez: And what business is that?
James Bond: I help people with problems.
Franz Sanchez: Problem solver.
James Bond: More of a problem eliminator.
Franz Sanchez: In this business, there's a lot of cash. And a lot of people with their hands out.
Kwang: In a word... bribery.
Franz Sanchez: Exactly. He took the words right out of my pocket.
[Pam is dressed in a white robe, making her look like an angel]
Dario: [slowly looks at her] Ha! Ha! Ha! You're dead!
Pam Bouvier: [raises a gun] You took the words right out of my mouth!
[Sanchez has just blown up Milton Krest in a decompression chamber full of money, splattering blood all over it]
Perez: What about the money, patron?
Franz Sanchez: Launder it.
Truman-Lodge: [after two of the tanker trucks are destroyed] BRILLIANT! Well done, Franz! Another eighty-million dollar *write-off*!
Sanchez: Then I guess it's time to start cutting overhead.
Professor Joe Butcher: Bless your heart!
[their boat just died]
Pam Bouvier: Out of Gas. I haven't heard that one in a long time.
James Bond: Well, they must have hit the fuel line.
James Bond: [aiming the signiture gun at Sanchez's office window] Watch the birdy, you bastard.
[Felix is being lowered into a pool full of sharks]
Franz Sanchez: I just want you to know that this is nothing personal. It's purely business.
Felix Leiter: Killing me won't stop anything, Sanchez!
Franz Sanchez: There are worse things than dying, hombre.
[Lowers him into the shark pit]
Felix Leiter: See you in hell!
Franz Sanchez: No, no. Today is the first day of the rest of your life!
[Leiter sees the traitor cop]
Felix Leiter: Killifer?
Ed Killifer: Sorry, ol' buddy, but two mil's a helluva chunk o' dough.
[after a gunfight with henchmen]
Felix Leiter: [to Bond] Hey, observer! You trying to get yourself killed?
James Bond: If I don't get you back in time for the wedding, I'm a dead man for sure!
[Sanchez and Krest have just discovered a lot of money in Krest's pressure chamber]
Milton Krest: That's not my money, I swear!
Franz Sanchez: That's right, amigo. It's mine!
Franz Sanchez: [grabs Krest] You think I'm stupid! HUH! You rip me off then use my own money to PAY someone to KILL ME? You want it so bad? Then TAKE IT!
[kicks Krest into the pressure chamber]
[Sanchez is about to put Bond onto a conveyor leading to a cocaine grinder]
Franz Sanchez: When it gets up to your ankles, you're going to beg to tell me everything. When it gets up to your knees, you'll kiss my ass to kill you.
[Bond sees that Sharkey has been killed]
James Bond: You'd better find yourself a new lover!
Lupe Lamora: Don't you men know any other way?
James Bond: It's Sanchez's way! You seem to like it!
Franz Sanchez: Drug dealers of the world, unite!
Ed Killifer: Freeze! Over by the trap door, old buddy.
James Bond: Is this where you put your old buddy Felix?
Ed Killifer: Not me. Chalk that one up to Sanchez and Krest.
[Bond points a harpoon at the man who killed Sharkey]
James Bond: Compliments of Sharkey!
[Sanchez is about to kill James]
Franz Sanchez: You could have had everything.
James Bond: Don't you want to know why?
[Shows Sanchez Felix's lighter, then sets Sanchez on fire]
Franz Sanchez: [after telling Krest to keep his mistress on his boat] Hey. No fooling around with my girl.
Milton Krest: Are you kidding? After what you did to that guy in the Islands?
Franz Sanchez: You liked my little Valentine, huh?
James Bond: [Pam kisses Bond] Why don't you wait until you're asked?
Pam Bouvier: Why don't you ask me?
[kisses Bond again]
[Bond kisses Pam after jumping into a swimming pool after her]
Pam Bouvier: Why don't you wait until you're asked?
James Bond: So why don't you ask me?
AWACS radar operator: We have a mid-course deviation. Target heading 036, 126 miles, bearing 062, Havana VOR.
Voice of DEA agent: He's landing at Cray Key. Advise Key West Drug Enforcement.
AWACS radar operator: Roger, sir. AWACS to Key West. Key West Drug Enforcement, please come in.
Voice of DEA agent: If they hurry, they just might be able to grab the bastard.
Hawkins: Local cops got a tip about a warehouse last night. Turned up 500 keys of Colombian pure, couple of stiffs, and a little bit of piece of what used to be Killifer.
James Bond: Good. At least someone's on the case.
Hawkins: You may be a pal of Leiter's, but I can only cover up so much. The DEA is screaming to know what happened. You know, we... we've got laws in this country, too.
James Bond: Do you have a law against what they did to Leiter?
[a couple of men arrive to escort Bond]
Hawkins: Look... you're in over your head. This is where it ends, Commander.
[James Bond reluctantly takes Della's garter]
Della Leiter: Did I say something wrong?
Felix Leiter: He was married once. But it was a long time ago.
[Heller takes an arsenal case, only to be caught by a suspicious Sanchez]
Heller: Hey. I was making sure these were secure.
Sanchez: It's a good idea. Take them up to my car.
Heller: Of course.
[Sharkey asks about Felix]
Sharkey: How is he?
James Bond: His left leg's gone below the knee. But they might be able to save his arm.
Rasmussen: You can bet it was a chainsaw. Colombians love to use them on informers. Hell, they sell more here than the state of Oregon.
Sharkey: Chainsaw my ass. I know a shark bite when I see one.
[a couple of divers arrive with Sharky's corpse]
Milton Krest: Nice work, Clive.
Clive: Thanks, Mr. Krest. Guest what? His name was Sharkey.
[Pam saves Bond from Dario, who is then violently decimated in a crushing machine]
Pam Bouvier: Are you all right?
James Bond: SWITCH THE BLOODY MACHINE OFF!
Felix Leiter: There's only one law down there. Sanchez's Law! Plomo o Plata.
James Bond: [nodding] Lead or Silver.
[after Bond has introduced Pam as his executive secretary Miss Kennedy]
Pam Bouvier: It's *Ms. Kennedy*. And why can't you be *my* executive secretary?
James Bond: We're south of the border. It's a man's world.
James Bond: Bond, James Bond
[Kwang and his Hong Kong agents have captured Bond]
Kwang: Who would have a signature gun?
Fallon: James Bond.
[examines the gun]
Fallon: This is the property of Her Majesty's Government. How did *you* get it?
James Bond: Piss off!
Kwang: Who ordered you to kill Sanchez?
Fallon: No one! He's a rogue agent. I've got orders to bring him back one way or another.
Kwang: We're Hong Kong Narcotics, you BASTARD!
Kwang: Sanchez is taking us to the heart of his operations. I've been setting it up for years!
Kwang: I just hope that little stunt of yours hasn't scared him off!
James Bond: [Sanchez' army is at the hideout] Get me out of these bloody things!
Fallon: No, Commander. You're a loose cannon on deck.
Fallon: I'm shipping you straight back to London.
[Bond struggles until Sanchez' army attacks]
James Bond: Miss Kennedy would you get me a medium-dry Vodka Martini...
Pam Bouvier: Why don't you ask...
James Bond: Shaken, not stirred.
[Bond heads for Pam's bedroom]
James Bond: Good night, Q.
Pam Bouvier: Sweet dreams, Mr. Bond.
[closes the door on him]
James Bond: [sighing] I hope you don't snore, Q.
[Sanchez and his men have caught Lupe in bed with another man]
Franz Sanchez: [to Lupe] What did he promise you? His heart?
Franz Sanchez: Give her his heart!
[Dario pulls a knife]
Lupe Lamora: [as the man is being removed] No. No Franz. I didn't mean any harm.
Franz Sanchez: It's okay, baby. No te preocupes. We all make mistakes.
[produces a whip]
Franz Sanchez: Your escapades are getting more creative.
Lupe Lamora: Por favor, Franz.
Franz Sanchez: Not a word.
[Sanchez whips her while Dario cuts out her lover's heart]
Heller: I can get the trucks out! But I don't think I can control the fire!
Franz Sanchez: Forget the fire! Get some cars, we're gonna take the tankers with us!
Truman-Lodge: Wait a minute! This setup cost us $32 million! We've got to try and save it!
Franz Sanchez: I don't give a SHIT about the setup! We've got $500 million in the case, and 20 tonnes of Colombian pure IN THE TANKERS! Now GO HELP HELLER!
Truman-Lodge: But we've got a deal with the Orientals. We've got their money.
Franz Sanchez: I said GO HELP HELLER!