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If you are about to die very soon, make sure you see this film and it will send you to your death bed with a huge smile on your face. This film is soooo bad beyond belief, it makes for a great film to watch with your mates at home with a few beers. Every cop/buddy movie cliche' is pulled out the hat. You've heard of Police Squad, well this is truly "Geriatric Squad". The main cast of old stooges combined age must be close to 4 digits. Anyway, the plot focuses on Lee Majors looking after a guy (Keaton, played by Abe Vigoda) at a nursing home after a messed up assassination attempt. I mean this hitman walks through this nursing home calmly, not looking like a hitman at all (moustache, sunglasses, blue suit, and a package under his arm - for crying out loud!). Before this, Lee Majors character is introduced as a burnt out, on-the-edge veteran cop who like to throw people out of windows - the police captain refers to him throwing people out of windows at least 7 or 8 times throughout the movie. Don Rickles is the ill-fated partner. As the credits roll at the start, the script writers were on hot form writing a conversation for these two to have in their car! Standout scenes include the p*ssing in the alleyway conversation scene between Majors and Rickles - what a way to get the plot moving boys - and the scene at the docks where the police badge on Major's blazer magically disappears and re-appears. Fantastic! There are also some really evil bad guys on the loose, who are gay and listen to heavy metal music in their convertible ("Wild in the Streets......"). Oh, and the love interest - a girl young enough to be Lee Major's daughter from the nursing home - helps Lee face his demons and get over the death of his partner etc etc. There is an amusing romantic run along the beach followed by a shower scene as the two get naked and Lee tries so hard to suck in his paunch. Yes, Lee gets over his partners death quite easily. Takes about 2 minutes actually and then is never mentioned again. Gunfights and car chases follow (to classic hillbilly getaway music) and the climax of the 1hr car chase made me spit out my beer with laughter. So if you are a fan of seriously bad movies.......don't dare miss this one!!!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Seeing as Comeuppance Reviews is a site devoted to all the
pulse-pounding, explosion-packed, face-punching, spin-kicking,
sword-slashing, machine-gun blasting action you can handle, it clearly
was only a matter of time before that true master of action, Abe
Vigoda, was featured.
It clearly was only a matter of time before the true master of action, Abe Vigoda, was in a Cannon production!
In what I would describe as an "inexplicably Cannon" production, Lee Majors plays Mike Gable, an aging, disgruntled cop who is divorced, has one son, brushes his teeth in the morning with a can of beer, and would really love nothing more than to continue wearing his acid-washed jean jacket and throw criminals out of windows. When there is a shooting at a nursing home, Gable investigates and finds there is a huge conspiracy to knock off one Louis Keaton (Vigoda). Keaton is a former gangster, and, even though he seems pretty close to death anyway (not to be insensitive), Gable and the rest of the Galveston, Texas police force are assigned to protect him.
Naturally, Gable and Keaton don't get along, but Gable is doing his duty because his partner Jake Barber (Rickles) and Keaton were friends from the old days - the really old days. Meanwhile, Gable's love interest is the nurse from the retirement home, Susan (Swope), and he would like this whole Keaton escapade to be over so he can live in his house on the beach with her, his son Jimmy (Clinton Austin Shirley, whose only other film credit is Robocop 2 - where he also plays a kid named Jimmy), and a really awesome dog, Blue (the credits read "and Blue as himself"). Can that happen - or will trying to protect Keaton - and uncovering the secrets from the past that go along with it - cost Gable his life? The main question you can't help asking yourself while watching Keaton's Cop is - "why does this exist?" It seems weird that it was ever made and came out on video. But to answer the question to the best of our ability, Keaton's Cop is a cop/action/comedy romance with maybe some thriller elements. The attempts at intentional comedy generally fall painfully flat, but luckily there are some unintentional laughs. But also there are car chases, shooting and explosions. I guess this goes to show older people can do anything younger people can do (Lee Majors is the "Young Man" of the film).
Majors is good as the grizzled cop, but looks a bit confused. Luckily for him, the audience is too, so we can relate. Abe Vigoda is lovable, and the kid Jimmy should have been played by JTT. You can probably picture what he looks like - the stereotypical "cute kid". June Wilkinson shows up towards the end of the film as Big Mama. Interestingly, she's in this and Sno-Line (1986), and both are shot in Texas. Maybe she lives there and refuses to do any non-Texas-shot productions. As you may expect, there are the "wacky" characters such as the Gay Gangsters that are trying to bump off Keaton (and continually listen to the anthemic hair metal tune "Wild In the Streets" by a band called Meet Meat), and a gluttonous gangster called "Fat Tony". But by far the star of the show is the dog, Blue. He practically steals the movie.
Yes, the movie is very silly and nonsensical (some might say "bad") from the title right down to the theme song - which features the line "better watch out, Keaton's gonna getcha". Keaton's going to GET ME? He's like 90 years old! I guess that is pretty scary. But anyway, try to imagine Cocoon (1985) but with chases and shooting. For an antidote to the Hollywood trend of young people being in everything, there's always Keaton's Cop.
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I was in this movie. I played a cop guarding Abe Vagoda.It was shot in
Galveston with a budget at The Galvez Hotel, but there are so many
small problems. Lee Majors was playing it straight, but doing scenes
with Don Rickles makes it kinda hard. Rickles was a nut on the set. Abe
Vagoda was searching for his character. Even the actors were struggling
with this script, the holes, the cheese. One of the best bloopers is
watching the car chase pass the same convenience store 3 times in a
The actor's were trying hard to be serious. But the props, the bomb...??..what the hell!?? They should have went for the comedy..the god father this wasn't.
The film also has a orange tint to it.You see, the film used to shoot the movie was apparently old and developed improperly in spots throughout the film...that's the inside word anyway. Ahh yes, A classic Bob Burge production. This was the kind of movie that ended careers. Once it came out it vanished. It took me 4 years to find ans outta state copy for 75 bucks. That is called burying it. Now, we can watch and laugh...why not. All I know is I got to hang out 2 days with Lee Majors and Abe Vagoda, for that I AM thankful.
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