| Lee Majors | ... | Mike Gable | |
| Abe Vigoda | ... | Louis Keaton | |
| Don Rickles | ... | Jake | |
| Tracy Brooks Swope | ... | Susan | |
| Art LaFleur | ... | Detective. Ed Hayes | |
| June Wilkinson | ... | Sandra Channing / Big Mama | |
| Robert Hilliard | ... | Lt. Spencer | |
| Denise Kerwin | ... | Julie | |
| Talbot Perry Simons | ... | Al - Hitman | |
| George A. Simonelli | ... | Rick Dante | |
| Fredrica Duke | ... | Marsha Gable | |
| Clinton Austin Shirley | ... | Jimmy Gable (as Clinton 'Austin' Shirley) | |
| Louise Melilli | ... | Receptionist (as Louise Mililli) | |
| Richard L. Duran | ... | Officer Diaz (as Richard Duran) | |
| Robert Foster | ... | Woody Clark | |
| Nick Gambella | ... | Stan | |
| Dominic Barto | ... | Hotel Assassin | |
| Peter Bryson | ... | Fat Tony Monetti | |
| Ed Geldart | ... | Lennie | |
| Claire Applegate | ... | Hooker on stand | |
| Helen Akerman | ... | Agnes Marx | |
| McCoy McLemore | ... | Paramedic | |
| Paul Bernstein | ... | Killer | |
| David Born | ... | Police officer | |
| Timothy C. Galvan | ... | Police officer | |
| Mark Leon | ... | Police officer | |
| Oscar Carles | ... | Desk clerk | |
| Ronald Lee Jones | ... | Ray Channing | |
| Jeff Jensen | ... | Percy | |
| Quentin Morgan | ... | Security guard (as Quenton Morgan) | |
| Sage Parker | ... | Dr. Thomas (as Sage N. Parker) | |
| Charlotte Stanton | ... | Patient | |
| Cathy A. O'Dell | ... | Dancer | |
| Kimberly O'Quinn | ... | Dancer | |
| Cathy Redmond | ... | Dancer | |
| Kenneth Warren Thompson | ... | Hotel guest | |
| Michelle Zevenbergen | ... | Waitress | |
| rest of cast listed alphabetically: | |||
| Maurice Duke | ... | Mr. Bernstein | |
Directed by | |||
| Robert Burge | (as Bob Burge) | ||
Writing credits | ||
| Michael B. Druxman | (written by) | |
Produced by | |||
| Robert Burge | .... | producer (as Bob Burge) | |
| Maurice Duke | .... | executive producer | |
| Peggy Slater | .... | associate producer | |
Original Music by | |||
| Kevin Barnes | |||
| David Connor | |||
Cinematography by | |||
| Roland 'Ozzie' Smith | (director of photography) (as Ozzie Smith) | ||
Film Editing by | |||
| Terry Chambers | |||
Casting by | |||
| Tony Roberts | |||
Production Design by | |||
| John Iacovelli | |||
Art Direction by | |||
| Keith Neely | (as Keith Neeley) | ||
Makeup Department | |||
| Bob Harper | .... | hair stylist | |
| Bob Harper | .... | makeup artist | |
| Sally J. Harper | .... | makeup supervisor | |
| Linda Morganroth Hardy | .... | makeup artist | |
Second Unit Director or Assistant Director | |||
| Bonnie Kate Brown | .... | first assistant director | |
| Laurie Durrett | .... | second assistant director | |
Art Department | |||
| Mitch Austin | .... | construction coordinator | |
| Israel Sifuentes | .... | property master | |
Special Effects by | |||
| Don Powers | .... | special effects assistant | |
| Michael Thompson | .... | special effects | |
Stunts | |||
| Bruce W. Austin | .... | stunts | |
| Dani Barden | .... | stunts | |
| Dave Bartholomew | .... | stunts | |
| Gary Beal | .... | stunts (as Gary Beall) | |
| Jackson Burns | .... | stunts | |
| Oscar Carles | .... | stunts | |
| Brad Collier | .... | stunts | |
| Albert Cutillo | .... | stunts | |
| Jadie David | .... | stunts | |
| Cheryl E. Duncan | .... | stunts (as C.E. Duncan) | |
| Richard L. Duran | .... | stunts (as Richard Duran) | |
| David Efron | .... | stunts | |
| Gerald Elliott | .... | stunts | |
| Bill Erickson | .... | stunts | |
| Sandra Lee Gimpel | .... | stunts (as Sandra Gimpel) | |
| Bill Hart | .... | stunts | |
| David Little | .... | stunts (as David A. Little) | |
| M.J. Lord | .... | stunts | |
| Matt McColm | .... | stunts | |
| J. Suzanne Rampe | .... | stunts (as Suzanne Rampe) | |
| David Sanders | .... | stunts | |
| Paul E. Short | .... | stunt double: Don Rickles Jr. | |
| Rob Swofford | .... | stunts | |
| Marvin Walters | .... | stunt coordinator | |
Camera and Electrical Department | |||
| Josh Abrams | .... | grip | |
| Robert Reed Altman | .... | first assistant camera | |
| George Bacon | .... | electrician | |
| Peter Burge | .... | grip | |
| Eddie Castillo | .... | electrician | |
| Jimmy Cleek | .... | video engineer | |
| Chris Daigle | .... | still photographer | |
| Mario Davis | .... | best boy grip | |
| Cranston Gobbo | .... | grip | |
| Ted Harrison | .... | key grip | |
| Kurt Johnson | .... | electrician | |
| Daniel Keesey | .... | dolly grip | |
| Esmeralda Kuhns | .... | assistant video engineer | |
| Daniel Cary McCrystal | .... | camera loader | |
| Greg R. McCullough | .... | gaffer (as Greg McCullough) | |
| Glenn E. Moran | .... | electrician | |
| Marc Morrison | .... | still photographer (as Mark Morrison) | |
| Daniel Murphy | .... | grip | |
| Michael Raspa | .... | second assistant camera (as Mike Raspa) | |
| Tommy J. Reece | .... | crane operator | |
| Harvey Rivera | .... | electrician | |
| Brad Rushing | .... | camera operator: second unit | |
| William Skinner | .... | grip (as William Scott Skinner) | |
| Thom Souris | .... | best boy electric | |
Casting Department | |||
| Janice Head | .... | location casting | |
| Burton Sharp | .... | voice casting | |
Costume and Wardrobe Department | |||
| Fran Allgood | .... | wardrobe supervisor (as Frances V. Allgood) | |
| Christine Lee Kuhner | .... | wardrobe assistant | |
Editorial Department | |||
| Gilbert Carreras | .... | color timer | |
| Brigitte Daloin | .... | assistant editor (as Brigitte Daloin Oswald) | |
| Lucy Hofert | .... | assistant editor (as Lucy Hofert Rose) | |
| Debra Powell | .... | apprentice editor | |
| John Travers | .... | assistant editor | |
Music Department | |||
| Joseph J. Battaglia | .... | music coordinator | |
| Joachim H. Hansch | .... | music supervisor | |
| Avi Kipper | .... | music mixer | |
| Robert Randles | .... | music editor | |
| Walt Vincent | .... | assistant music editor | |
Transportation Department | |||
| Ray Bellamy | .... | transportation co-captain (as Raymond David Bellamy) | |
| Frank Chandler | .... | transportation coordinator | |
| Howard Griffith | .... | transportation captain | |
Other crew | |||
| Bob Abrams | .... | unit publicist | |
| Chris Burge | .... | production accountant | |
| Patrick C. Burke | .... | production assistant | |
| Fred Davis | .... | weapons master (as Fred Davis) | |
| Chris Dobbs | .... | film/video coordinator | |
| Virginia Díaz | .... | production coordinator (as Virginia Ann Diaz) | |
| Kay Ellis | .... | production assistant | |
| Samuel J. Friedman | .... | unit publicist | |
| David Hack | .... | assistant to producer | |
| Jim LaBove | .... | auditor | |
| Nikki Majors | .... | animal trainer | |
| Sheldon Roskin | .... | unit publicist | |
| Gerald Shepard | .... | special effects editor (as Jerry Shepard) | |
| Laura Shrewsbury | .... | script supervisor | |
| Devon Smith | .... | production assistant | |
| Lee Solters | .... | unit publicist | |
| Phil Nichols | .... | prosthetics manufacture (uncredited) | |
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| The Seven-Ups | Maximum Risk | Bullitt | Lethal Weapon 3 | Next of Kin |
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| Full cast and crew | Company credits | External reviews |
| IMDb Crime section | IMDb USA section |
If you are about to die very soon, make sure you see this film and it will send you to your death bed with a huge smile on your face. This film is soooo bad beyond belief, it makes for a great film to watch with your mates at home with a few beers. Every cop/buddy movie cliche' is pulled out the hat. You've heard of Police Squad, well this is truly "Geriatric Squad". The main cast of old stooges combined age must be close to 4 digits. Anyway, the plot focuses on Lee Majors looking after a guy (Keaton, played by Abe Vigoda) at a nursing home after a messed up assassination attempt. I mean this hitman walks through this nursing home calmly, not looking like a hitman at all (moustache, sunglasses, blue suit, and a package under his arm - for crying out loud!). Before this, Lee Majors character is introduced as a burnt out, on-the-edge veteran cop who like to throw people out of windows - the police captain refers to him throwing people out of windows at least 7 or 8 times throughout the movie. Don Rickles is the ill-fated partner. As the credits roll at the start, the script writers were on hot form writing a conversation for these two to have in their car! Standout scenes include the p*ssing in the alleyway conversation scene between Majors and Rickles - what a way to get the plot moving boys - and the scene at the docks where the police badge on Major's blazer magically disappears and re-appears. Fantastic! There are also some really evil bad guys on the loose, who are gay and listen to heavy metal music in their convertible ("Wild in the Streets......"). Oh, and the love interest - a girl young enough to be Lee Major's daughter from the nursing home - helps Lee face his demons and get over the death of his partner etc etc. There is an amusing romantic run along the beach followed by a shower scene as the two get naked and Lee tries so hard to suck in his paunch. Yes, Lee gets over his partners death quite easily. Takes about 2 minutes actually and then is never mentioned again. Gunfights and car chases follow (to classic hillbilly getaway music) and the climax of the 1hr car chase made me spit out my beer with laughter. So if you are a fan of seriously bad movies.......don't dare miss this one!!!