3.6/10
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1 user 1 critic

Real Men Don't Eat Gummi Bears (1989)

Gummibärchen küßt man nicht (original title)
In this wacky comedy, teen-aged Tony (Bentley C. Mitchum) has never known who is father is. Together with his best buddies Peter and Susan, he tracks down the clues he has as well as he can... See full summary »

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Writer:

(as Florian Burg)
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Johannes / Josef Thalberg
...
Peter (as Robby Rosa)
...
Padre
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Angela
Bentley Mitchum ...
Tony
Julia Kent ...
KX 3
...
The Bishop
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Agent 712
Käte Jaenicke ...
Gundula
John Van Dreelen ...
Geyer
Arthur Brauss ...
Colonel
Rüdiger Bahr ...
Karl
...
Leo-Heinz
Amadeus August ...
Spy Leader
Barbara Dockhorn ...
Gilda
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Storyline

In this wacky comedy, teen-aged Tony (Bentley C. Mitchum) has never known who is father is. Together with his best buddies Peter and Susan, he tracks down the clues he has as well as he can. Meanwhile, the twin brother of a Spanish priest has set out from where he lives in order to find his son, whom he has never met. (The priest and his twin are played by Christopher Mitchum.) The two search parties meet in the village where the priest lives, giving rise to all sorts of misunderstandings - for instance, that the priest was the father, and not his twin brother, whose existence no one else knows about. This leads to all sorts of trouble for the priest from his diocesesan bishop (Ernest Borgnine) and other priests. Written by Ronald Shines

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Genres:

Comedy

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Details

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Release Date:

17 August 1989 (West Germany)  »

Also Known As:

Real Men Don't Eat Gummi Bears  »

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Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

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Color:

(Eastmancolor)

Aspect Ratio:

1.66 : 1
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Did You Know?

Soundtracks

Angela
Performed By: Robby Rosa
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User Reviews

 
Rare, Obscure, 80s German Comedy........
20 March 2013 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

Upon doing research, this movie has NEVER had any release outside of Germany. That includes here in the United States, despite having a cast of mostly American actors (Christopher Mitchum, Ernest Borgnine, Art Metrano, Bentley Mitchum, among some others). I was lucky enough to receive one of the original screener tapes of the original, un-dubbed, English version of this movie, recorded back in 1989.

"Real Men Don't Eat Gummi Bears" is basically the type of comedy you would see on Disney Channel. All this movie is, is a whacked-out, kid friendly, but disoriented version of Shakespeare's "Comedy of Errors", in which it is about two twins that do not know about each other, and they finally clash.

Chris Mitchum hasn't had the best movie reputation in other reviews of his low-budget '80s action movies. Here, he does a pretty solid job as our two twins. One of them is a priest, and the other is a pimp from Africa. (Nice analogy) John Hillerman of MAGNUM, PI does a great job as one of the other priests at the Spanish Church Mitchum has migrated to. Real-life son Bentley Mitchum plays the pimps son in this movie, he does, actually, a pretty decent job.

Aside from "Comedy of Errors", the movie also has a Pink Panther-esque subplot involving Art Metrano (Police Academy) trying to track down top secret blueprints from the church, which ultimately leads to the Bishop of the church (played by Ernest Borgnine)

It is extremely low budget, and I'm sure is more common in and around Germany, however, here in America, I am not too sure about how the movie would get received. It has a quirky soundtrack, mainly consisting of one song performed by a band named "Edelweiss". Humor is pretty dry at moments, and I will say, my two favorite people in the film were Art Metrano & Art Metrano.

It's more oriented for kids, as I said, this is basically the type of comedy you would see on Disney Channel. It's not for everybody.

5/10


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