Daisy Werthan: Hoke?
Hoke Colburn: Yes'm.
Daisy Werthan: You're my best friend.
Hoke Colburn: No, go on Miss Daisy.
Daisy Werthan: No, really, you are...
[Takes Hoke's hand]
Daisy Werthan: You are.
Hoke Colburn: Yes'm.
[to Hoke on his first day of work]
Idella: I wouldn't be in your shoes if the Sweet Lord Jesus come down and asked me himself.
Daisy Werthan: Did you have the air-conditioning checked? I told you to have the air-conditioning checked.
Hoke Colburn: I had the air-conditioning checked. I don't know what for. You never allow me to turn it on.
Daisy Werthan: Hush up!
Daisy Werthan: You should have let me keep my old LaSalle. It never would've behaved this way and you know it.
Boolie Werthan: Mama, cars don't behave. They are behaved upon. Fact is, you demolished that Chrysler all by yourself.
Daisy Werthan: Say what you want, I know the truth.
Boolie Werthan: The truth is, you just cost the insurance company $2,700. You're a terrible risk. Nobody's gonna want to issue you a policy after this.
Daisy Werthan: You're just saying that to be hateful!
Boolie Werthan: OK. I am. I'm makin' it all up. Look out there in the driveway! Every insurance company in America is out there, waving their fountain pen, trying to get you to sign up!
Boolie Werthan: You're a doodle, Mama.
Boolie Werthan: How're you, Idella?
Boolie Werthan: Where's that vacuum cleaner I brought over here?
Idella: In the closet.
Boolie Werthan: [turning to Hoke] She won't touch it.
Idella: I would if it didn't give me a shock every time I come near it!
Boolie Werthan: It works for me!
Idella: Fine... you clean and I'll go down and run your office!
Idella: I'm goin', Miss Daisy.
Daisy Werthan: [from upstairs] Alright Idella, see you tomorrow.
Hoke Colburn: I'm goin' too, Miss Daisy.
Daisy Werthan: Good!
[Hoke is trailing Daisy in the car as she walks to the supermarket]
Daisy Werthan: What are you doing?
Hoke Colburn: I'm tryin' to drive you to the store!
Daisy Werthan: [on the phone, trying to get a ride to her hair appointment] Well, I need you now, I have to be at the beauty parlor in half an hour... no, I most certainly did NOT know you have to call a minimum of three hours ahead! I don't know why you call yourselves a taxicab company if you can't provide taxicabs!
Idella: [in the other room, polishing a table] Why don't you call your son down at the mill? He'll send somebody for you.
Daisy Werthan: That won't be necessary... I'll just cancel the appointment and fix my own hair!
Idella: Sometimes I think you ain't got the sense God gave a lemon!
[Hoke and Miss Daisy are talking about how he can't read]
Daisy Werthan: You know your letters don't you?
Hoke Colburn: Oh yeah, yeah I know my ABC's pretty good, just can't read.
Daisy Werthan: Stop saying that you're making me mad! If you know your letters you can read. You just don't know you can read.
Hoke Colburn: Maam?
Daisy Werthan: I taught some of the stupidest children God ever put on the face of this earth and all of them could read well enough to find a name on a tombstone.
[after Florene storms out when Katie Bell makes a mistake]
Boolie Werthan: Don't worry Katie Bell, it's not QUITE the end of the world.
Hoke Colburn: [on a pay phone calling Boolie after taking Daisy to the Piggly Wiggly] Hello, Mr. Werthan? Yeah, it's me. Guess where I'm at? I jus' finished drivin' yo mama to da store.
Hoke Colburn: Oh, yeah, she flap around some, but she's all right, she in da store. Oh, Lord, she jus' looked out da window an' seen me on da phone... prob'ly gonna throw a fit right there at da checkout!
Hoke Colburn: You sho' right about that! Only took me six days. Same time it took the Lord to make the world! All right, 'bye now!
Hoke Colburn: Hey, there, Oscar, Junior... how you boys doin' this morning?
Oscar: How the old lady treatin' you, Hoke?
Hoke Colburn: Lord, I tell you one thing... she sho' do know how to throw a fit!
[Hoke, Oscar, and Junior break out in laughter]
Daisy Werthan: What's so funny?
Hoke Colburn: Nothin', Miss Daisy. We jus' carryin' on.
Boolie Werthan: What I need is for somebody to drive my mother around
Hoke Colburn: Well, if you don' mind my askin', sir, how come she's not hirin' for herself?
Boolie Werthan: See, it's kind of a delicate situation.
Hoke Colburn: Oh, yessir, yessir... done gone around the bend a little bit. Well, now, that'll happen as they get old...
Boolie Werthan: Oh, no, she's all there. Too-much-there is the problem!
Alabama trooper #1: [watching Daisy and Hoke leave after checking them out] An old nigger and an old Jew woman takin' off down the road together... that is one sorry sight!
[Hoke and Boolie are walking thru Daisy's vacated home discussing how Hoke and Daisy have been since Daisy had to be put in the nursing home]
Boolie Werthan: I suppose you don't get out to see her very much.
Hoke Colburn: No, sir... it's hard not drivin'. Every now and then I takes a taxi cab, but don't too many taxis go out yonder.
Boolie Werthan: I'm sure she appreciates it.
Hoke Colburn: Yes, sir.
Hoke Colburn: Some days, she better than others... but then, who ain't?
[Hoke and Boolie both laugh]
[Hoke and Boolie are at the nursing home visiting Daisy. Daisy appears unwilling to speak much]
Boolie Werthan: Hoke, I thought of you the other day on the expressway. I saw an Avondale Milk truck. Monster of a thing, must have had about sixteen wheels.
Hoke Colburn: You don't say!
Boolie Werthan: I was wondering how you'd like drivin' that thing around!
Daisy Werthan: [to Boolie] Hoke came to see me, not you!
Hoke Colburn: Look like one o' her good days!
Daisy Werthan: Boolie, go charm the nurses!
Boolie Werthan: [smiling] She wants you all to herself.
Hoke Colburn: [Hoke and Idella are walking to Daisy's house and notice Boolie's car in the driveway] Now what do you suppose he's doin' here this early in the mornin'?
Idella: Dunno... can't be good, I promise you that!
Hoke Colburn: [Hoke walks in, Boolie and Daisy are there to confront him about a missing can of salmon] Mornin', Miss Daisy. I think it's gettin' ready to clear up out there! Oh, 'scuse me, Mr. Werthan!
Boolie Werthan: Hoke, I think we're gonna have to have a little talk.
Hoke Colburn: All right, sir. Just let me get outta my coat.
[pauses, then turns to Daisy]
Hoke Colburn: Oh, Miss Daisy, yesterday, while you was out visitin', I went and ate a can of your salmon. Now, I know you said eat the left-over pork chops, but they was kinda stiff. So, I stopped at the Piggly Wiggly and got you another can. You want me just to go on and put it in the cupboard?
Daisy Werthan: [embarrassed] Yes, that'll be fine... thank you, Hoke. Well, I guess I'd better get dressed now!
Daisy Werthan: [Hoke and Daisy are driving to Boolie and Florene's for a Christmas party. Daisy, a Jew, is annoyed at the extraneous Christmas light displays] Everybody's wishing the Georgia Power Company a Merry Christmas.
Hoke Colburn: I bet Miss Florene got 'em all beat with the new house.
Daisy Werthan: If I had a nose like Florene's, I wouldn't go around wishing anybody a Merry Christmas!
Hoke Colburn: [laughs] Yes'm... but, I tell ya, I do enjoy a Christmas at their house.
Daisy Werthan: Of course, you're the only Christian in the place!
Hoke Colburn: Well, they got that new cook.
Daisy Werthan: [sighs] Florene never could keep help. Of course, it's none of my affair. Too much running around, if you ask me.
Daisy Werthan: The Garden Club this, the Junior League that... as if any of them would give her the time of day! But, she'd die before she'd fix a glass of iced tea for the Temple Sisterhood! I just hope she doesn't get it into her head to *sing* this year!
Hoke Colburn: [coming up on Boolie's house, looking at the gaudy light display] Oh, Lord, look what Miss Florene done done!
Daisy Werthan: If her grandfather, Old Man Freitag, could see this... what is it you always say?... he'd jump up out of his grave and snatch her bald-headed!
Hoke Colburn: [bursts out laughing as he lets Daisy out] HA! Jump up outta his grave and snatch her bald-headed! Miss Daisy, you oughta go on away from here!
Hoke Colburn: [Hoke is driving Daisy to Mobile] Did I evre tell you about the first time I ever been outside the state of Georgia?
Daisy Werthan: No, when was that?
Hoke Colburn: Oh, a few minutes ago.
Daisy Werthan: I've never been prejudiced in my life and you know it.
Boolie Werthan: [about the Martin Luther King dinner] Okay, then why don't you ask Hoke to go with you?
Daisy Werthan: Hoke? Don't be ridiculous. He wouldn't go.
Daisy Werthan: [as Hoke drives Miss Daisy to a dinner at which Martin Luther King is to speak] Boolie said the silliest thing to me just the other day.
Hoke Colburn: What'd he say?
Daisy Werthan: We were talking about Martin Luther King. I assume you know him.
Hoke Colburn: No'm, I don't know him.
Daisy Werthan: But, you've heard him preach.
Hoke Colburn: Yes'm... same way you have, on the TV.
Daisy Werthan: I think he's wonderful.
Hoke Colburn: [Hoke ponders what Daisy said] What you gettin' at, Miss Daisy?
Daisy Werthan: Well, Boolie says you wanted to go with me to this dinner. Did you tell him that?
Hoke Colburn: No'm, I didn't.
Daisy Werthan: [as Hoke looks at her seriously in the rear view mirror] I didn't think so. What would be the point? You can hear him any time you like. I think it's wonderful how things are changing.
Hoke Colburn: [Hoke stops the car] Now, Miss Daisy, the tickets for this here dinner came in the mail a month ago. Bein' that you wanted me to go wit' you, how come you wait till we in the car and on the way there before you ask me?
Boolie Werthan: [Boolie is eating lunch at Daisy's, trying to convince her that she can't drive anymore after her accident] Mama.
Daisy Werthan: No.
Boolie Werthan: Mama!
Daisy Werthan: No!
Boolie Werthan: You know, it's a miracle you're not laying up at Emory Hospital. Or decked out at the funeral parlor!
Daisy Werthan: The cucumbers are pretty this year.
Boolie Werthan: Look at you, you didn't even break your glasses!
Boolie Werthan: I'd better be gettin' back to the office. Florene'll be havin' a fit if I don't get home on time tonight.
Daisy Werthan: [sarcastically] Ya'll must have plans tonight!
Boolie Werthan: Goin' to the Anderson's for a dinner party.
Daisy Werthan: This is her idea of heaven on earth, isn't it?
Boolie Werthan: What?
Daisy Werthan: Socializin' with Episcopalians!
Boolie Werthan: Hoke, I want you to understand something. Now, you'd be working for me. She
[referring to Daisy]
Boolie Werthan: can say anything she likes, but she can't fire you. You understand?
Hoke Colburn: Yes, sir. Yes, sir, I sure do. And, don't you worry about a thing, Mr. Werthan! I'm gonna hold on no matter how she run me. You see, I used to rassle hogs down yonder in Macon, and, let me tell you, ain't no hog got away from me yet!