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Richard Joseph Paul
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Do you want to experience cinematic pain and suffering? If so, do yourself a favour and rent "Cold Justice."
For quite some time, this was the worst film I've ever seen. It is a tedious, bloated, nonsensical movie with a cast of about 25 main character and a plot that is practically impossible to recap. The script is in virtual limbo for the hour-and-forty-five minutes this wounded puppy drags on; there is lots and lots and lots of talking, but little action and NO drama.
Roger Daltrey leads this no-star cast as a retired boxer who wants to get back into the business...or something. It is never made clear. This goal of his is buried as he and the rest of the characters go from bar to bar discussing their problems. The sheer number of main characters makes this process excruciating. Before too long, I lost track of who was who, what everbody's problem was, even what bar they were at!
There are so many bad moments in this movie I could sit here all day describing them. If you do happen to find it, look for such terrible moments as:
the part where the whole cast goes on a road-trip!
the guy who keeps singing "Big Spender!"
the pointless suicide by one of the characters!
the mob/priest feud!
and, finally, the classic line, "Well, I'll just take the
little bugger off, then!"
"Cold Justice" must be seen to be believed. It is hypno-helio static stasis at full effect. Blah!
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