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Hope Marie Carlton
Shecky Moskowitz, a deservedly struggling young comedian, lands a menial job on a cruise ship as the Miss-Universe contest is being held on-board. The Big Man On Deck for this voyage is Dickie Diamond, the ship's comedian and all-around ladies' man. As an assorted array of thugs, Panamanian mercenaries and terrorists try to storm the ship, Shecky hopes for one big chance to prove himself and enter the exciting world of cruise ship comedy. Written by
Jean-Marc Rocher <firstname.lastname@example.org>
This is Adam Sandler's first feature film. The production was shot entirely on a cruise ship going from New Orleans to Cancun. The ship was going to the Miss Universe Pageant and was filled with beauty queens from all over the United States. The camera crew forgot to bring a box of lenses on the ship, so the director of photography was forced to shoot with the wrong lenses. See more »
Sir, hi! What's your name?
Hey, Dave! What do you do for a living?
Well, I'm a construction worker.
A construction worker? Alright, what do you construct?
I construct buildings. What the fuck else would I construct?
Okaaaay... so, Dave, do you think constructing is an easy job, or is it a hard job?
Listen, butthole, why don't you quit trying to be funny? Because all it's doing is pissing me off.
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If you hate Adam Sandler, you'll hate this movie. If you love Adam Sandler...you'll still hate this movie.
Even if you're a huge Sandler fan, please don't bother with this extremely disappointing comedy! I bought this movie for $7.99, assuming it has to be at least halfway decent since my man Sandler is in it and because I assumed some women would get naked (judging by the R-rating and scantily-clad women on the cover). Well, there are quite a few scantily-clad women, but none get naked. I'm not sure what point this was in Sandler's career, but I'm guessing it was even before his SNL days. I can be wrong. This is like watching one of his home movies. He might look back at a cheesy movie like this and reminisce about the good ol' times...but we (the audience) are left to dry. This is hardly a "movie"! Sandler does a lot of talking to the camera, and even admits at one point that this is "no-budget" movie (that's right, not a low-budget movie, a NO-budget movie). So our job is pretty much to laugh AT the quirky characters. There is no steady plot, it's like an extended sketch comedy show--but a crude and badly written one. That guy who played the nasty comedian was completely annoying and it was implausible in the first place that he would receive such a mass audience. And Sandler finds his comic inspiration by saying the one classic Henny Youngman line "Take my wife, please" and the audience is on the floor? I'm not even going to TRY to make any logic here. Sure, Sandler's current and recent movies are not known for making a lot of sense (the penguin in "Billy Madison," the midget in "Happy Gilmore's" Happy Place) but the comedy works. This is a strictly amateurish work, and even if you're curious about Adam's early days in film--you still won't be interested. You're better off checking out his start on SNL or maybe his underrated role in "Mixed Nuts." Of course, the Sandman is not the only actor wasted in this thankless vehicle. Billy Bob Thornton also makes a short appearance, Billy Zane ("Titanic") has a supporting role and the great Burt Young (from the "Rocky" movies) has a significant role.
This awful comedy will most probably be collecting dust on the 99-cent rental section of your local video store--and rightfully so.
My score: 3 (out of 10)
37 of 43 people found this review helpful.
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