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Ash it up tonight with this classic!, 22 September 2010
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Comeuppance Reviews from United States Minor Outlying Islands
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
"Take Cover, The Eagle Flies Again!" "When You're The Best In The
Business, There Are Only Two Choices...Win Or Die." Max "The Eagle"
Shane (Brauner) is a surly mercenary with a mullet. He goes around the
world to hellholes like Angola and Nicaragua cleaning up problems -
with bullets. He's a Vietnam vet, and his fellow Vietnam buddy Johnny
Burke (Wells) is now a high-powered bad guy who runs drugs, guns ("war
is a very profitable business") and is involved in kidnapping. He also
hates Shane because of an incident that occurred back in 'Nam. So Burke
kidnaps Rudy's sister Angela (Baker) and a bunch of other fashion
models, and Shane goes on a mission with his friend Rudy (Lyons) to the
Ivory Coast in Africa to stop the bad guys and end the conspiracy.
Asher Brauner makes quite the hero. All he does is smoke, drink and eat
meat. He even asks Rudy at one point "Got any bacon?" This proves to be
his catch phrase. It truly rivals "I'll be back". He loves sports and
wears plenty of jerseys and caps. Interestingly, he seems a bit
confused a lot of the time and says plenty of malapropisms. When
someone says "news travels fast", instead of saying "what news?" (he's
trying to get info), he says "how fast?" And when another character is
dead silent, saying nothing, Shane says "I'll be the judge of that".
Huh? He makes a lot of funny faces and has a cool jacket. He looks like
a cross between Nick Nolte, Stallone, Michael Madsen and David
Hasselhoff. He gets into a grenade/knife fight. By that I mean he holds
a grenade and his enemy holds a knife and they fight. We've never seen
that before, I don't think. Pretty original.
Shane's partner Rudy basically IS Bob Eubanks. He looks so much like
him. He and Shane are the original odd couple, as Eubanks, I mean Rudy
is a health nut that exercises and drinks power-shakes made of fruit.
But they work well together as they discuss sports as they torture a
bad guy for information. Notably, there are some pop culture references
and even waterboarding in American Eagle. How ahead of its time. Asher
is a visionary I tell you.
Normally we don't go into nerdy stuff like this, but you have to watch
out for something really funny at an hour and seven minutes into the
movie. There is the single most OBVIOUS dummy you've ever seen. It's
laugh out loud funny. It's like something from a sketch on Conan.
Ending with a stirring, moving, tearjerking title song by Lionel
Petersen, American Eagle is stupid (in a good way) action fun.
SPECIAL NOTE: The back of the DVD from Platinum disc is hilariously
over the top and also riddled with errors. Firstly, the pictures shown
are NOT from this movie, but the other Asher movie on Platinum,
Merchants of War (1990). According to the person who wrote the back,
"Asher Brauner wrote the BONE CHILLING screenplay". Also they misspell
Spielberg as "Speilberg" and they even made up their own word:
"Wearly"! And I quote (I couldn't make this up if I tried): "The action
avalanches from spectacular car crashes to fiery shootouts as Max, the
wearly Eagle, must sharpen his talons anew for the most brutal fight of
his life. Nothing has prepared you for the awesome impact of this
adventure classic's explosive climax." Are they overstating the case?
Find out for yourself tonight!
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