Lonesome Dove (1989 TV Mini-Series)
Gus McCrae: A man who wouldn't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough.
Woodrow Call: [after handing the gun to Newt] It is better to have that and not need it, then to need it and not have it.
Woodrow Call: [Woodrow walking towards Gus] I 'spect you been sittin' up all night reading the good book.
Woodrow Call: [after beating a man nearly to death for hitting Newt he climbs on his horse and looks at the horrified towns people] I hate rude behavior in a man. I won't tolerate it.
[referring to the Hat Creek Cattle Company sign]
Woodrow Call: ...and if that ain't bad enough you got all them Greek words on there, too.
Gus McCrae: I told you, Woodrow, a long time ago it ain't Greek, it's Latin.
Woodrow Call: Well what does it say in Latin?
[Gus blusters some gibberish]
Woodrow Call: For all you know it invites people to rob us.
Gus McCrae: Well the first man comes along that can read Latin is welcome to rob us, far as I'm concerned. I'd like a chance t' shoot at a educated man once in my life.
Woodrow Call: You ever get tired o' loafin' I reckon you can get a job waitin' on tables.
Gus McCrae: Oh, I had a job waitin' tables once. S' on a riverboat. I wasn't no older than Newt, there, but I hadda give it up.
Newt: How come?
Gus McCrae: Well I was, too young and pretty and the whores wouldn't let me alone.
Gus McCrae: I could kick you for givin' him all them ideas about Montana. Now we're gonna suffer for the rest of our damn lives.
Jake Spoon: Yeah, I forgot how determined he can get, once an idea takes root.
Gus McCrae: I'm just tryin' to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it's my obligation to do less.
Woodrow Call: I guess it's our fault we should've shot sooner.
Gus McCrae: I don't want to start thinking Woodrow of all the things we should have done for this good man.
Woodrow Call: We come to this place to make money. They wasn't nothin' about fun in the deal.
Gus McCrae: What are you talkin' about? You don't even like money. You like money even less than you like fun, if that's possible.
Roy Suggs: What did you find?
Dan Suggs: Nothing but his old watch. Damn sodbusters!
Jake Spoon: You shot those two men for a watch?
Dan Suggs: Shot 'em, now I'm going to hang 'em.
Eddie Suggs: Hang 'em? Dang, you beat all! I've never heard of hanging dead men.
Dan Suggs: Shot 'em, now I'm gonna hang 'em, then I'm gonna burn 'em! Damn sodbusters. Can't ever be too dead to suit me.
Clara Allen: Sometimes it seems like grave digging is all we do around here, don't it Cholo? What do you think happens when we die?
Cholo: Not too much. You are just dead.
Clara Allen: Maybe it's not as big a change as we think. Maybe you just go back to where you lived or near your family, or wherever you were the happiest. Only you're just a spirit now... and you don't have the troubles the living have.
[while July Johnson helped Gus McCrae attack the bandits' camp, July's friends were murdered by Blue Duck]
July Johnson: It was my fault! Hell, you told me to stay.
Gus McCrae: I know I did, son. And I'm sure you wished you had. But yesterday's gone, we can't get it back. Now you go on with your digging.
[Jake is about to be hanged]
Jake Spoon: Well, hell, boys. I'd damn sight rather be hung by my friends than by a bunch o' damn strangers. Newt... Well, adios, boys. Hope you won't hold it against me. Never meant no harm.
[spurs his horse, hanging himself before Gus does it]
Joshua Deets: [in the Wyoming Badlands] What we doin' up here, Captain? This ain't our land.
Gus McCrae: Woodrow is determined to be the first man to graze cattle in Montana, even if it kills all of us.
Joshua Deets: Don't seem right, Captain. A man ought not to leave his land and his people.
Blue Duck: [to Gus] You ever bring that tongue of yours north of the Canadian River, I'll cut it off and feed it to my wolf pups.
Woodrow Call: [Call thinks Gus has died] Augustus.
Gus McCrae: [opens his eyes] By God, Woodrow; it's been one hell of a party.
Woodrow Call: Well, Augustus is dead. Died from blood poisonin' from them arrows them Indians shot in him. They cut off one of his legs, but the poison got in the other and he wouldn't let 'em cut it off. Stubborn about it; that's what killed him, bein' stubborn.
Woodrow Call: [after burying Gus by the stream in Texas] Well, Gus; there you go. I guess this will teach me to be more careful about what I promise people in the future.
Roscoe Brown: [Peach has told Roscoe to go find July] Find July! He's been gone over six days!
Peach Johnson: He's gone to Texas, Roscoe. I reckon you can find Texas!
Roscoe Brown: Of course I can find Texas, Peach. I just don't know if I can find July!
Woodrow Call: [riding in San Antonio] Things sure have changed since the last time I was here. It's all growed up.
Gus McCrae: Of course it's growed up, Woodrow. He killed all the Indians and bandits so the bankers could move in.
Woodrow Call: Only a fool would want the Indians back.
Gus McCrae: Has it ever occurred to you, Woodrow; that all the work we done was for the bankers? Hell, we killed off everybody made this country interestin'!
Blue Duck: [Call is looking at Blue Duck in jail] I hear you brought you stinkin' old friend to watch my hangin'.
Woodrow Call: He'd have enjoyed it.
Blue Duck: I should've killed him when I had a chance.
Woodrow Call: I'd have killed you for it.
Blue Duck: [laughing] I stole horses, burned farms, killed men, raped women and stole children all over your territory and until today, you never even got a good look at me! I don't think you would've killed me. Rangers! I 'spect I'll kill a passel of you yet.
Clara Allen: I loved Augustus McRae, but I wasn't willing to share him with you every time you decided to ride off on some adventure. I despised you for what you were then, Captain Call; and I despise you for what you're doing!
Woodrow Call: How do I know you won't start missin' your wife after about five miles and decide to quit?
Po Campo: My wife is in hell; where I sent her.
Joshua Deets: [laughing] Done put a gun on you. Reckon you'll be boss of this outfit before too much longer.
Newt: [Going along with the joke] You better hope not, Deets. First thing I'll do is cut your wages for all them times you been joshin' me.
Gus McCrae: [Call and McRae are about to hang the Suggs brothers] Say goodbye to your brothers; I expect you got them into this.
Dan Suggs: The hell with them! They ain't worth a red piss; and neither are you!
Gus McCrae: I'll say this, Suggs; you're the kind of man it's a pleasure to hang. If all you can talk is guff, you can talk it to the Devil.
[Hits Dan's horse with a quirt causing his and Eddie's horse to bolt]
Roy Suggs: I shoulda been second. Little Eddie was the youngest.
Gus McCrae: I apologize, son; I never meant to scare his horse like that. Well, are you ready?
Roy Suggs: [Shrugs] Yeah, I guess so.
July Johnson: [Gus walks up on July's bunch in the dark] Who were they shootin' at?
Gus McCrae: They were shootin' at me! This is Captain Augustus McRae, Texas Rangers. Now, don't shoot me; I'm walkin' in.
Gus McCrae: [Shaking hands with July] Augustus McRae. Those were Blue Duck's boys. I've been chasin' him. He stole a woman and I'm tryin to get her back.
July Johnson: July Johnson, I'm sheriff in Fort Smith, Arkansas. This is my deputy Roscoe Brown, this is Joe and Janie.
Gus McCrae: July Johnson! You're that Arkansas sheriff came down lookin' for Jake Spoon. If you're lookin' for Jake, you missed him by about 200 miles.
July Johnson: I'm not looking for Spoon right now. I've got more urgent business in the North.
Gus McCrae: I've got to go after Blue Duck. I expect he's up on the Canadian somewhere. If I could trouble you for the loan of a horse, I'll return it and probably a few more.
Gus McCrae: [to Jake about his riding with the Suggs] A man that will go along with five killin's is taking his leaving awful slow.
Gus McCrae: [Coming upon the sodbusters killed by Dan Suggs] I'god, a man could get rich in the grave digging business around here. Pea, you ought to get a long shovel.
Pea Eye Parker: I don't think I'd want to do that.
Woodrow Call: This is a bad bunch we're after.
Newt: Gus, Jake wouldn't have nothin' to do with something like this!
Gus McCrae: Jake's always been a drifter Newt. Any wind can blow him.
Gus McCrae: Is that all you boys can think about; gettin' to Ogallala and spendin' your money on whores?
Jasper Fant: That's all right for you, Gus; you got Lorena with you. What about the rest of us?
Gus McCrae: What's good for me might not be good for the weak minded.
Newt: Gus, are you sure the Captain is my father?
Gus McCrae: Yep, he is.
Newt: He ain't never mentioned it.
Gus McCrae: Well, Woodrow ain't much of a mentioner.
Jake Spoon: A man that will talk to a pig ain't no better than a farmer.
Gus McCrae: I expected you to own a bank or at least a whorehouse by now Jake. It seems life has been a disappointment to both of us.
Jake Spoon: That might be so, but by God, I ain't never said a word to a pig.
Gus McCrae: Well we don't rent pigs and I figure it's better to say it right out front because a man that does like to rent pigs is... he's hard to stop
Newt: Jake wasn't a killer.
Gus McCrae: Jake liked to joke. He didn't like to work. I have exactly those same failings myself.
Gus McCrae: It's an accident she is even on this trip.
Clara Allen: I never noticed you having accidents with ugly girls.
Newt: Captain, can I go with you down to the river next time you go? I believe I'm gettin' old enough.
Woodrow Call: You get old quick, sittin' out here on the porch, talkin'. Best go on to bed.
Newt: It's still early, Captain.
Woodrow Call: You go on to bed now, like I told you to.
Gus McCrae: Now, why did you do that? Best chance the boy's got at a education is listenin' to me talk.
Woodrow Call: What kinda education is that?
Gus McCrae: You think he'll learn more shovelin' horse poop for you?
Woodrow Call: I shoveled my share of it, it ain't hurt me none.
Gus McCrae: Well, it's fine with me if that's how you wanna make your fortune.
Gus McCrae: Lorie darlin', life in San Francisco, you see, is still just life. If you want any one thing too badly, it's likely to turn out to be a disappointment. The only healthy way to live life is to learn to like all the little everyday things, like a sip of good whiskey in the evening, a soft bed, a glass of buttermilk, or a feisty gentleman like myself.