Cyn: Sometimes I sing and dance around the house in my underwear. Doesn't make me Madonna. Never will.
Mick: Tess, will you marry me?
Tess McGill: Maybe.
Mick: Ya call that an answer?
Tess McGill: You want another answer, ask another girl.
[the morning after Tess passed out from drinking]
Tess McGill: What did happen, exactly?
Jack Trainer: The earth moved. The angels wept. The Polaroids are, are, uh...
[gropes about in his coat pockets]
Jack Trainer: are in my other coat.
Jack Trainer: Nothing happened. Nothing happened!
Tess McGill: You can bend the rules plenty once you get to the top, but not while you're trying to get there. And if you're someone like me, you can't get there without bending the rules.
Oren Trask: You've got a real fire in your belly, or was this just a one-time stunt that you pulled?
Tess McGill: I'm not quite sure what you mean, sir. I've got something in my belly, but I think it's nervous knots.
Jack Trainer: You're the first woman I've seen in one of these things that dresses like a woman, not like a woman thinks a man would dress if he was a woman.
Tess McGill: Thank you I guess.
[about Jack's chin scar]
Tess McGill: How did you get the scar?
Jack Trainer: Some guy pulled a knife in Detroit.
Tess McGill: Really?
Jack Trainer: No. No. I was nineteen and I thought it'd be cool to have a pierced ear. My girlfriend stuck the needle through and I heard this pop and fainted and hit my chin on the toilet.
Cynthia: Can I get ya anything? Coffee? Tea? Me?
[Looking through Katherine Parker's wardrobe]
Cynthia: Six thousand dollars? It's not even leather!
[in the bar]
Tess McGill: I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?
Jack Trainer: Uh, no. No.
Tess McGill: [to Katherine] Look, you, maybe you've got everyone around here fooled with this saint act you have going, but do not ever speak to me again like we don't know what really happened, you got me?
Katherine Parker: Tess, this is business. Let's just bury the hatchet, okay?
Tess McGill: You know where you can bury your hatchet? Now get your bony ass outta my sight!
Oren Trask: Now get your - what was that you called it?
Oren Trask: Yes - your bony ass out of my sight!
Tess McGill: I am not steak. You can't just order me.
Katherine Parker: Ugh! What a slob.
Tess McGill: You were so smooth with him.
Katherine Parker: Never burn bridges. Today's junior *prick*, tomorrow's senior partner.
Alice Baxter: Uhm, Ms. McGill?
Tess McGill: Yes.
Alice Baxter: [pointing to private office] That's your desk... in there...
Tess McGill: I don't think so.
Alice Baxter: Oh, yes.
Tess McGill: Sorry, I thought the secretary would sit out here...
Alice Baxter: That's right, I'm the secretary. If you don't mind, I'd prefer assistant.
Tess McGill: [from her new, private office] Hey, Cyn. Guess where I am.
Tess McGill: What if he doesn't?... pop the question?
Katherine Parker: I really don't think that's a variable. We're in the same city now, I've indicated that I'm receptive to an offer, I've cleared the month of June... and I am, after all, me.
Cynthia: Whaddya need speech class for, ya talk fine!
[Upon reading Tess' day planner]
Katherine Parker: Why that little... slut! Bitch! Secretary!
Tess McGill: [pretending to be her boss] I know what I'm doing.
Cynthia: Yeah, screwing up your life.
Tess McGill: No, I'm trying to make it better! I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life working my ass off and getting nowhere just because I followed rules that I had nothing to do with setting up, OK?
Tess McGill: [Mick has bought Tess some lingerie for her birthday] Y'know, Mick, just once I could go for like a sweater or some earrings... something that I could actually wear outside of this apartment?
Tess McGill: [after taking several shots of tequila, on top of Diazepam/Valium recommended by Cynthia] Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy... mmm...
Jack Trainer: You ok?
Tess McGill: Mmm... fine... I took an "antihistamine" before and it makes for a nice little buzz.
Tess McGill: Shoot me, shoot me.
Cyn: Will you cut that out, they didn't throw you out did they?
Tess McGill: They don't exactly have bouncers at these things, they're a little more subtle than that.
Personnel Director: Tess, Tess, Tess, Tess. You don't get ahead in this world by calling your boss a pimp.
Tess McGill: Well, he is.
Katherine Parker: Never burn bridges. Today's junior prick, tomorrow's senior partner!
Tess McGill: [on the phone] Cyn! Guess where I am...
Cyn: [stands up, screams to secretaries] She got out! Oh my god! I can't believe it, she's out - she made it out! She got out! She has her own office!
Cyn: [trailer] How 'bout you?
Tess McGill: I'm flat broke, I'm crazy about a man that I will probably never see again...
Cyn: Well, *besides* that!
[Tess laughs sadly]
Personnel Director: Been lookin at your file here. This the third time in six months I had to place you.
Tess McGill: Wasn't my fault.
Personnel Director: Where've I heard THAT before?
Tess McGill: Ruth, lookit - I'm thirty years old. Took me five years of night school, but I got my degree and I got it with honors; I *know* I could do a job. I mean, you ask any of my bosses - even, even Lutz! - if Tess McGill hasn't called a few.
Personnel Director: YOU ask 'em. I don't think they're gonna sing your praises, Tess.
Katherine Parker: Dress shabbily, they notice the dress. Dress impeccably, they notice the woman - Coco Chanel!