Sean: Angela... You're Angela Baker, the Angel of Death. I should have called you Peter.
Angela: My name is Angela Johnson.
Sean: You're Angela Baker. You killed all those kids at Camp Arawak.
Angela: I've been Angela Johnson for four years.
Sean: How did you get this job here?
Angela: Easy. I've got great recommendations from doctors, psychiatrists, even clergymen. I did my time. Two years of therapy, electroshock, was on every pill you ever heard of, plus an operation. I'm completely cured. If I wasn't they wouldn't have let me out. How do you know so much about me?
Sean: My dad's a cop. He helped arrest you. You should have heard him the day you got out.
Angela: That's too bad. Wait 'til he hears what's happened to you.
Uncle John: I used to brag that every good kid in New York came here, but now I have trouble filling half the cabins with god knows who. Whatever happened to the good kids in the world?
Angela: Don't talk like that, Uncle John. There's lots of good kids. We just have to weed out the bad.
Angela: Ooooh, I'm a happy camper, I love the summer sun. I love the trees and forest, I'm always having fun! Ooooh, I'm a happy camper, I love the clear blue sky, and with the grace of God, I'll camp until I die!
[the Shit sisters are mocking Angela's happy camper's song]
Brooke: Oh, I'm a happy camper, I love the clear blue sky, but only when I'm shitfaced, so everyone get high! Oh, I'm a happy camper, I love to drink and fuck, and if you pay me money, on my titties you can suck.
[Angela lured Ally into a trap]
Angela: I didn't think you'll fall for it. You're dumber than I thought.
Ally: Well, you're more fucked up than I thought.
Angela: [after stabbing Ally] Get up. Get up! Get in there. Get in the toilet!
[shoves Ally into outhouse]
Angela: What's down there?
Angela: Answer me!
Angela: That's right one of your favorite words. Do you mind if I borrow it for a moment? You've been a shitty friend and a shitty camper. What else is down there? Answer me!
Angela: You've pissed away your good looks and God-given talent your whole life and turned it into nothing but a cynical dirty mouth waste of flesh! What else is down there?
Ally: I dunno!
Angela: Well, then, I guess you're just going to have to climb in and find out.
Angela: Leeches, Ally! For a leech like you!
Angela: You should have been the first to go.
Ally: Here ya go, Lea. It'll keep your tits growing. Maybe you'll quit looking at mine.
Angela: [leaving a cabin full of victims] Good night campers.
[as blindfolded campers stick their hands into boxes of various gross stuff]
T.C.: Gross! Slimy gopher guts!
Diane: Look out! Putrid wild elephant hearts!
Angela: Dead teenagers' brains!
Diane: Angela, what's really in there?
Angela: Dead teenagers' brains.
Judd: [Angela knocks him down and prepares to bring a running chainsaw down upon him] No, don't.
Angela: [She brings the chainsaw down upon him] Sorry, but once I start a task, I always finish.
Phoebe: It ended up that the killer was the shy 14 year old girl that everybody picked on. Only this girl, she wasn't a girl. She was really a he. His aunt had been dressing him up like a girl ever since he was four years old. They found him naked on the beach holding the chopped off head of another camper. About 30 people were killed and the camp had to be closed down.
Angela: I'm giving you one last chance, Mare. We're sleeping out tomorrow night. Just say your sorry.
Mare: Never! I would rather die first, Angela.
Mare: [Angela reaches for something in the backseat] What are you looking for, a gun?
Angela: No, a drill.
[Talking about angela]
Judd: Hey, Molly, how do you put up with that bitch?
Molly Nagle: She's not that bad.
Demi: Come on, Molly, you have to admit she's a little bit weird.
Ally: Weird isn't the word for it. I think she's a dike.
[guys start laughing]
Ally: I'm totally serious.
Ally: [after sex] That was great, thanks a lot. That was fun.
Ally: Listen, you don't have AIDS or anything, do you?
Rob Darrinco: No!
Ally: Great! See ya!
Angela: Too bad they haven't figured out a way to make french fries nutritious. I'm a nut when it comes to french fries!
Woman in Truck: I mean, the way I see it, I am just too dumb to drink and I'm too fat to fuck.
Ally: What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a pair of boobs before?
Demi: Leave her alone, Ally, I mean she's only looking at that long black hair growing out of your left nipple.