Royal ancestors feel the wrath of the curse of the condemned witch Mad Dolly, who spews forth her prophecy while she is burned at the stake. The victims suffer death by having their heads ... See full summary »
In the year 25,000 B.C., a Cro-Magnon Hunter tracks three Neanderthals who've murdered his mate and kidnapped his child. Will he find them in time to save his child from being sacrificed to... See full summary »
Yes, when the credits started and they flashed a bloody fake looking puppet monster going "rawr" I knew I was in for a bad movie.
I got this movie in a collection of about twelve movies called "Gorehouse Greats". Funny thing is of the ones I have watched in it have been not all that gory. This one is also not all that gory, there is blood and lots of booby shots, but not a whole lot of gore. This one has a sect of devil worshipers living in modern day New York (at least I think it was New York). They perform sacrifices of blood relatives to Satan to stay nice and young, and they get bonus points if they are female and virgins. Meanwhile, a strange handyman is given a list and the next thing you know he is attacking a woman and her lover who is a rather clumsy kick boxer. Dude seems to knock out the handyman until the handyman teleports behind the dude and stabs him dead, then proceeds to kidnap the blond who offered no help during the scuffle. At this point the only thing worth seeing in the movie was the blond's boobs, and that is the theme of the movie. Boobs to see, not much plot to watch. I mean they show a sacrifice of a supposed virgin at the beginning of the film and it is supposedly the one guy's daughter, but she looked old enough to be the guys sister or something. Then a main gal's mother looks like she could be an older sister. Then a gal gets arrested for street walking and is said to be underage, if so being under 30 in New York must be underage. Then there is the boyfriend who raises objections over a certain priest as he kind of gets fresh with the main girl and it is obvious and the girl keeps going "Don't attack him" and stuff, though if I were the boyfriend I would have dumped the gal when she told me why she was hesitant about having sex as she had a bit to much baggage. I know it sounds kind of mean of me, but females dump men for being insecure and more inane reasons than what she had. If this review seems to be skipping around a bit I am just trying to be like the movie. You also have an undercover nun and two cops that looked like they were straight out of that Beastie Boys video Sabotage. So an all around bad effort, but they give you some boobs to look at and great lines like "Don't you wanna get poked?". I am not joking that line is in the film.
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