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|Index||13 reviews in total|
Gorgeous brunette with wet-suit zipped way down her cleavage takes a
spear gun bolt through her heart. As she's embracing a guy and about to
stab him, another bikini clad woman shoots her in the back with the
spear gun, and the bloody tip of the spear emerges from between her
In an earlier scene, same girl is topless.
They don't show that stuff anymore.
Lot's of gorgeous women as always with Sidaris films
Bare bosoms are out nowadays in movies accept in the home video only segment
Andy Sidaris follows his usual formula with this mix of action,
gorgeous scenery, and even more gorgeous women. The story deals with
the title character, an international criminal played by handsome John
Aprea. He's gunned down outside an art gallery by the goons of a crazed
associate, Miguel Ortiz (Rodrigo Obregon). Then a team of government
operatives, including Travis Abilene (amiable hunk Steve Bond), Donna
(the delectable Dona Speir), and Taryn (lovely Hope Marie Carlton)
spend their time trying to eliminate Ortiz and his henchmen.
"Picasso Trigger" is fun, at least to a degree. It's never inspired, but it's reasonably rousing at times and even if the viewer is otherwise bored, they'll hopefully be preoccupied with ogling the female cast members. Naturally, they show off the goods when they get a chance. The acting is basically good enough for this sort of thing. The standout is veteran Aprea, who's a real smooth type. The gadgets designed by "Q" type character The Professor (Richard LePore) are cute, especially that killer crutch.
The material is played with a degree of humour, with some choice bits of dialogue here and there. Things get a little annoying in the final minutes, with one "ending" after another, but the movie is overall a good little diversion.
Six out of 10.
Once again, this Sidaris film seems to have everything: a fit and quite believable as an agent Dona Speir, an incredibly adorable Hope Marie Carlton (on a scale of 1 to 10, her smile is a 12), a gorgeous Roberta Vasquez, international locations (Paris, Las Vegas, Texas, Hawaii, etc.), LOTS of explosions, outrageous gadgets, etc. The mix should have been explosively hot, but sadly it's only lukewarm. The execution of the formula is mechanical, as if Sidaris was simply ticking off action scenes from a list. There are very few funny lines (the best belongs to Speir: when she's accused of being jealous, she says "there is not a jealous bone in my body - check it out for yourself", and she disrobes!) and the one fight scene, involving Harold Diamond, is terrible. But to end this comment on a positive note, John Aprea gives a slick performance as the arch-villain of the story. (**)
The third film in the long "babes with guns" series, has the buxom
beauties of a government agency that at this point of the series hadn't
been named, go after baddie Miguel Ortiz after he kills secret agent
Picasso Trigger. A steady stream of bad acting, massive explosions and
even more massive mammeries (but less nudity than most of the other
films in the series). When it comes down to it Andy Sidaris's
near-trademark mixture of boobs, bullets, and bad acting is not for
everyone. You either enjoy the concoction or you don't. I'm more in the
former than the latter as I see them as fairly innocent time-wasting
eye candy. Just go with it and you'll enjoy to an extant. And while
this one might not be his best film (that would be "Do or Die" in case
you're wondering), it's still enjoyable if you just remember to turn
your brain off at the door.
My Grade: C+
Eye Candy: Cynthia Brimhall, Hope Carlton, Patty Duffek, Kym Malin, and Don Spier all show various amounts of gratuitous skin.
DVD Extras: Introduction with Andy and Julie Strain; Director's Commantary; 36 minute Behind the scenes featurette (featuring abundant nudity); Production Stills; Sndy Sidaris filmography; web-links; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for 11 other Sidaris films (all with abundant nudity)
Easter Egg: There's one hidden in the main menu featuring a nearly fully nude Julie Strain goofing off.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
After double agent Picasso Trigger (smoothly played with cool assurance by John Aprea) gets bumped off by treacherous arch drug smuggler Miguel Ortiz (a pleasingly slimy portrayal by Rodrigo Obregon), several federal agents are assigned by the agency they work for to bring Ortiz down. Writer/director Andy Sidaris maintains a quick pace throughout and delivers his usual enjoyable mixture of delicious babes in skimpy swimsuits or less (busty blonde knockout Dona Speir and mega cutie Hope Marie Carlton are mad hot as our sexy heroines while smoldering buxom brunette Roberta Vasquez contributes a memorably sultry turn as enticing femme fatale Pantera), an amusingly goofy sense of tongue-in-cheek humor, big splashy explosions, nifty James Bond-style gadgets (a deadly explosive boomerang, killer remote control toy car and airplane, etc.), a good deal of bloody violence, occasional bits of strenuous slow motion, a cool fierce martial arts fight, and globe-trotting international locations which add an impressively expansive scope to the picture. The acting from the attractive cast is passable at best, with Steve Bond likable enough as buff hunk Travis Abilene, Kym Malin simply adorable as sassy cowgirl dancer Kym, Cynthia Brimhall displaying real class as the elegant Edy Stark, and Harold Diamond providing suitably macho muscle as ace karate fighter Hondo. Howard Wexler's slick cinematography gives the movie a nice polished look while Gary Stockdale's lively score hits the stirring spot. A fun flick.
Dona Speir confessed in an interview (DVD bonus) she didn't understand the movie after reading the script and she figured it out only after she watched the final product 4 times. She isn't the only one, I suppose. I blame this confusion on the villain who keeps hidden most of the time so you wonder who's actually fighting whom and why. The killers' messages are quite poetic: "The ones with the flower have been scattered this hour", one writes to notify the others that his job his done. "I've got a black belt in shotgun", another lady says after she shot a kung fu fighter. The Dutch DVD I've got uses the tagline "Moorden is een vorm van kunst" ("Killing is an art form", I think it translates) - and these cynical tidbits just to demonstrate "Picasso Trigger" is somewhat more violent (and with less nudity) than other movies of the Lethal Ladies series. I loved the exploding boomerang as a weapon or when 1 of the heroes fires about 20 times at 1 bad guy and misses him every time. Playboy's Roberta Vasquez in her first appearance for Andy Sidaris slips into a pair of ripped jeans, showing beautiful legs, beautiful dark eyes, beautiful... everything! Note: this is the 3rd out of my 12 reviews for the works of Andy Sidaris, in chronological order.
It's not his best work, but I still don't feel like I wasted my rental.
It drags on in some parts, and most of the hand to hand fight scenes are really unconvincing.
On the plus side, it has some tricks and twists that an audience member really wouldn't see coming.
No Julie Strain, but Donna Spier and Roberta Velasquez look really good in most of their shots. :)
Still, the nudity, while gratuitous, isn't very common in occurrence. The scenes where the characters are in swimsuits are nice, I guess. I have to admit they look pretty good.
It really didn't flow very well, and it had some scenes that were just plain boring.
Overall, I still like Sidaris' work, because it's the best you'll ever get in this kind of film work, I think, but he's done better.
Picasso Trigger, the third film in Andy Sidaris's Malibu Express
series, is par for the course in terms of nudity and violence, with the
obligatory big breasted babes disrobing at regular intervals to get
fruity with the musclebound hunks, and lots of baddies being shot,
blown up, or impaled. Luckily, this one proves to be slightly more
entertaining than the last entry (Hard Ticket to Hawaii) thanks to
Sidaris adopting a more deliberate Bond-style approach, one that comes
complete with an international villain and silly gadgets (designed by
'Q'-alike boffin, The Professor) to go with the usual array of chase
scenes, explosions and exotic locations.
The plot (yes, there is a plot!) sees government agents Travis Abilene (Steve Bond), Jade (Harold Diamond), Donna (Dona Spier), Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) and Edy (Cynthia Brimhall) joined by Paris operative Pantera (Roberta Vasquez) to bring to justice the gang who have been bumping off their colleagues. However, everything is not as it first seems, with Travis and Co. eventually discovering that they have been set up by bad guy Salazar AKA Picasso Trigger (John Aprea) to help him eliminate his competition.
Picasso Trigger is no means a great filmSidaris's direction still leaves a lot to be desired, the action scenes being far less thrilling than they are unintentionally amusingbut with plenty of sexy Playboy-standard babes getting naked, crap martial arts, a pointless sub-plot about snuff movies, crazy gimmicks such as an exploding boomerang (which would surely come back and blow YOU up?!?) and a rocket-launching crutch (programmed by pocket calculator), blatant product placement (even the local Hovercraft Hire company gets in on the action), and VERY LARGE CAPTIONS to let us know what day of the week it is, this is worth a go when you don't want to have to think very hard.
Let's just cut to the chase straight away here and say upfront that the
only sane reason to watch an Andy Sidaris film is to see beautiful
playmates get naked and shoot guns. What other reason is there? This
one has a convoluted plot-line that I quite honestly can't be bothered
to describe. What I will say is that the story is not exactly its
strong point. Needless to say, as per Sidaris other films, there are a
lot of explosions and a lot of feeble gadgets. But the action scenes
are so lacklustre that you will be hard pressed to care. Honestly, when
you consider the awesome bevy of beautiful babes that Sidaris
improbably had at his disposal, you can't help but wish the films had a
little more imagination or life about them.
This one is neither one of his best, nor is it one of his worst but it's pretty much essentially the same as all of them. The only true differentiating factor that I can ever discern is which ladies do we have and is there a lot of nudity? All other aspects merge into one as far as his filmography is concerned. This one's chief selling point is Dona Speir, who is very nice indeed. And, yes, she strips off a few times, along with several of her other female co-stars. So, consequently, the film does have some entertainment value. Other than that, it has quite a good title.
Just watching the credits for Sidaris' flicks reveals where he gets his
cast. Everyone is from Playboy, Penthouse, or Playgirl. What the heck,
everyone wants a chance to act. At least none of these folks gave Sidaris
any headaches about doing nude scenes!
The movies are popcorn, not meant to be taken to seriously. Just sit back and watch a bunch of occassionally naked women and guys kill some nefarious bad guys.
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