Biker Geek #1: [they see Michael] Look, Biff, there he is. How about an autograph?
Biker Geek #2: Will you autograph my tummy? What's the matter, you got no pen?
Biker Geek #1, Biker Geek #2: Let's get him.
[they chase Michael]
Mr. Big: My name is gonna be in the history books. And they better spell my name right! L-I-D-E-O. So simple. Frankie LiDeo! Very easy!
Mr. Big: Remember, a younger customer always turns into a loyal customer. Remember that! Remember that!
Michael: Why are you doing this? Stop it!
Mr. Big: You wanna know why I'm doing this, do you? I just wanna get everybody high, Man. You know, some good drugs. That's all.
Michael: Do it and you're dead.
Mr. Big: Let's give her a shot of this.
Steven Spielberg: [when Michael accidentally runs in on his set] Cut! You hairball, I'll never finish this movie! Who let him in? Isn't anybody in charge? Don't you know ANYTHING about show business?
Michael: I'm sorry.
Steven Spielberg: My producer is doing this to me, isn't he? I ask for a BAD guy and he gives me Michael Jackson? I can't take it anymore!
Cowboy: Hey, pilgrim, you wanna ruin my career, I'LL show you *bad*.
Michael: Sorry, I gotta go. Bye.
Cowboy: Let's get the varmit.
Statue of Liberty: Land of the free, home of the weird.
Young Michael: What is he wearing?
Agent: A Prince t-shirt and red sneakers.
Young Michael: *Prince* t-shirt?
Michael: [a traffic cop points to a "No Moonwalking" sign] Me and my friend, Spike, we were just... But, my friend, he was just... Spike, he was just here...
Police Officer: [Hands him a ticket pad] I need your autograph right HERE.
Zeke 'Baby Bad' Michael: [about Michael Jackson] I taught him everything he knows.
Mr. Big: You guys gotta get in the middle of the country. Get in the middle of the country there! Stop those kids from praying in school. First, I want you to hang around by playgrounds, I want you to hang around schoolyards.
Mr. Big: I want every kid in this whole world to take drugs because of me. Because of ME. I want everybody to know. Everybody.
Michael: Let her go!
Mr. Big: Shut up! Don't you talk to me. You shut up!
Mr. Big: There, get him! Come on, get him! Kill him, KILL HIM! Let's see how cool he is now.
[after a wire sprays sparks and scares the kids]
Michael: [laughs] It's just a plug! It's just a plug.
Zeke 'Baby Bad' Michael: Yeah, you jumped back too.
Mr. Big: [pinning Katie down with his foot, after beating up Michael, to a guard] Kill her first!
Mr. Big: [to Katie] Shut up!
Michael: [screaming] LEAVE HER ALONE!
[spotlights shatter as his voice echos]