Maniac Cop (1988)
Security Guard: You always take a leak with a gun in your hand? That's a good way to blow your balls off!
Commissioner Pike: Tell me something, when was the last time YOU had a mental test?
Frank McCrae: ...anytime, Commissioner.
Commissioner Pike: As a matter of fact, didn't you try to shoot yourself a couple of years back?
Frank McCrae: ...gun went off.
Bar Patron: Are you sure I can't give you a lift?
Cassie Phillips: I'd rather face the muggers.
Desk sergeant: Matt believed in the old saying "Shoot first, ask questions later."
Frank McCrae: [shooting his gun] Cordell! Son-of-a-bitch!
Parade reporter: And so this years St Patrick's Day parade continues on schedule, despite speculation the parade may have been cancelled due to fear of violence. Authorities report scores of death threats against the police, plus threats of bombings along the parade route. But this has not deterred a record crowd for turning out for New York's St Patrick's Day parade.
Parade reporter: [glances at spectacle] ... what a parade it is.
Coroner: We have a C2/C3 fracture dislocation. The head was unstable and there was a sudden deceleration injury. The residual hanging; where the head just "pops". That's not what's interesting. What's interesting is we have a crushed larynx. The head's just flopping.
Frank McCrae: You're tryin' to tell me two kids did this?
Commissioner Pike: Lieutenant, I've been going over your report. Seems you automatically assume it was a police officer instead of some lunatic son-of-a-bitch dressed up like a cop.
Sally Noland: It couldn't of have just been a bullet-proof vest. I hit him in the head at least twice!
Frank McCrae: Look at the marks on your throat.
Sally Noland: I'm telling you, Frank. His hands were so big, and they felt like ice... even through his gloves. He wasn't breathing.
Frank McCrae: Hah... we won't put that in our report, huh?
Frank McCrae: Whole city's goin' to hell. You can't take a pee anywhere anymore.