Curtis Mooney: They took your wife away in a balloon? Well you don't need the police, pal, you need a psychiatrist!
Security Guard: What're ya gonna do with those *pies*, boys?
Curtis Mooney: I made it through Korea I can make it through this bullshit!
Debbie Stone: We were up at "the top of the world" and we saw this shooting star and we decided to go look for it. But instead of finding the shooting star we saw this... this circus tent. And that's when we went inside, and that is when we saw those people in those... those pink, cotton candy cocoons. Dave, it was not a circus tent. It was something else.
Dave Hanson: What? What?
Mike Tobacco: It was a space ship. And there was these things, these killer clowns, and they shot popcorn at us! We barely got away!
Curtis Mooney: Killer clowns, from outer space. Holy shit!
[after finding the big top in the woods]
Farmer Gene Green: Look Pooh, I love the circus. Maybe we can get some free passes.
[as Jo-Jo The Ice Cream Clown]
Paul Terenzi: I'm Jo-Jo the ice cream clown, we'll give you a stick, you'll give it a lick. And it'll tickle you all the way down. Ice cream, ice cream, we brought our goodies here to you! A tasty treat for while you screw! Let's take a break! Cool off those hot lips with our frozen fruity bars! Icy-wicy, fudgy-wudgy bars. And everyone's frozen delight, the lick a stick!
[Watching the stars, suddenly a bright light appears and disappears]
Mike Tobacco: Did you see that?
Debbie Stone: Yeah I saw that! That was incredible!
[after just witnessing the blinding light]
Farmer Gene Green: Did you see that little ole sky doggie zip down there Pooh?
[after finding the Big Top]
Farmer Gene Green: Well I'll be greased and fried!
Farmer Gene Green: What in the blue blazes is the circus doing here in these parts?
Farmer Gene Green: I don't know Pooh, you know there's something kinda peculiar around here.
[Discovering Pooh has been dognapped]
Farmer Gene Green: What in tarnation is going on here!
Mike Tobacco: Isn't this place great or what? It looks like it was decorated by Klowns R Us.
Curtis Mooney: ...I'm supposed to read you your rights. But you're in *Mooney's* jail, and in Mooney's jail you ain't *got* no rights!
Mike Tobacco: Paul, there's more important stuff to do than sell ice cream!
Biker: Whatta ya gonna do? Knock my block off?