Doctor Sam Garrison: Now, I know that you're all strapped, but our patients don't need to see fighting and backbiting. They get that stuff at home. They need us to be their good family, and that means that our tensions get checked at the door. It's no picnic, I know, but we live in a hothouse, and we're dealing with hurt and fragile people. We're their role models, every one of us.
Doctor Sam Garrison: If a patient's looking for a god, he's come to the wrong place, and if a psychiatrist wants to play God... wrong ball park.
Leonard Schrader: I've heard through some grapevine or other that when you don't like someone, it's because they remind you of something you don't like about yourself.
Leonard Schrader: Don't you think we should examine this, Isabel?
Dr. Issy Schrader: The patients will overhear you.
Leonard Schrader: Are you afraid of overhearing? What is your fantasy?
Dr. Issy Schrader: You are, dear.
Leonard Schrader: Ah. Now, that's the transference, Ducky. You have to nip that in the bud.
Doctor Ved Lahari: I've never called anyone Ducky in my entire life.
Leonard Schrader: [as Art] That's what I call repression, Ved. I'm doing a chapter on that in my book. It's called "Letting Your Hair Down No Matter What's In It."
Dr. Marie Teller: Well, don't tell Art. He'll use it.
Doctor Ved Lahari: He's writing a chapter on narcissistic self-hatred called "How Can I Miss Myself If I Won't Go Away."
Dr. Marie Teller: He told me he was writing one called, um, "Is the Woman Sitting Next to You Your Brother: Gender Confusion and Sibling Rivalry."
Art: You know, everything you say in this room is private. You're free to say anything you like.
Ida: You little runt.
Art: It's a start.
Doctor Sam Garrison: What's your take on Ida?
Art: Certainly not classic kleptomania. There's bravado and denial of underlying depression. Definitely marital issues. The shoplifting, though, is a cry for help.
Doctor Sam Garrison: Outpatient.
Art: Yeah. Three times a week. See how it works. I mean, she's dying to talk. She let down her defenses right away. Started crying.
Doctor Sam Garrison: Sounds like you made a breakthrough.
Art: Mmm, yeah.
Doctor Sam Garrison: But?
Art: She stole my pen.