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7 out of 9 people found the following review useful:

I want my Z'Dar back!

2/10
Author: eminges from mission, ks
15 September 2001

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Well, reading the other comments it seems there's at least two versions of this out there. Mine is Media Home Entertainment's, and does NOT have the ending described in the other comments - this version is monumentally lame, but the version described in the other comments, with Frankensein and the Wolfman, sounds legendary.

Otherwise, for those of you under twenty, I want to assure you that, although a lot of weird things happened in the eighties, there were not, as far as I remember, gangs of snarling twentysomethings with Billy Idol hair and dressed in expensive leathers roaming the countryside in VW busses looking for innocent citizens to terrorize. Grotesque would like you to believe this; it would also like you to believe that Linda Blair can run around in the snow for a couple of hours in her jammies and bare feet and not turn into a snow-cone; or that even Tab Hunter is stupid enough to threaten two punkers with a shotgun, demand they get in his car, and then drive off with them in the back seat, where, one presumes, they will sit quietly with their hands in their lap until we get to Grandma's.

Overall, Grotesque is definitely worth hunting down, if you can wrap it up for less than three bucks. No plot? No, this thing has more plot than Gravity's Rainbow.

*************THIS WOULD BE A LOT OF SPOILERS, EXCEPT THERE'S MORE THAN ENOUGH PLOT LEFT TO GO AROUND ************** Linda Blair and a friend drive up into the mountains to see her folks, and are menaced by a "gang" of punkers also on their way to see her folks, on the rumor that they've got a lot of money stashed, because Linda Blair's dad is a famous FX artist. Her dad keeps jumping out at her and her friend with rubber masks and body parts, but he's Guy Stockwell, and charming, so it's OK. The punkers descend on the house, kill everybody except Linda B., but unfortunately let Linda's cousin out of his secret room, who's a large, horribly deformed, essentially sweet but now angry and murderous kind of a guy, who then kills off all the punkers except two, but then a family friend drives up the hill, finds the carnage, calls the cops, her uncle (Tab) drives up the hill for some reason, and after all is said and done the deformed cousin is dead, Linda's in a coma, the two punkers are shaken but not stirred, and the police begin their investigation.

FOLKS, WE ARE NOW ONLY FORTY MINUTES INTO AN EIGHTY-MINUTE MOVIE!!!

Maybe Grotesque was being put out on spec, to get backers interested in a mini-series.

Oh. Robert Z'Dar, my favorite actor with a really big face, is NOT in this version. Also, there's no nudity and the FX are pathetic, But it's STILL worth watching, in horrified fascination, as the plot lurches around drunkenly, banging off doorframes, stumbling over the furniture, just to see whether it finally falls out of a second-story window (it does).

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10 out of 15 people found the following review useful:

I'm at a loss for words...but 'scrape' and 'barrel' come to mind...

Author: EyeAskance from fabulous Las Vega$!
15 October 2003

Hilarious looking over-the-top 'punkers' terrorize and kill an innocent family, only to be stalked by a vengeful deformed son who was being kept in a secret room of the house. Just when it seems that this film is rolling into its conclusion, Tab Hunter makes an out-of-nowhere entrance, marking the starting point of twenty more excruciating minutes. GROTESQUE, which to this point was merely somewhat painful, now crosses the "near-lethal" line.

Throwaway horror bunkum, and a sad example of how its once-promising star, Linda Blair, was somehow reduced to being a fixture in sub-B material.

3.5/10

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5 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

punks invade a home and find something grotesque; not so good

3/10
Author: FieCrier from Upstate New York
10 February 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Starts with a movie-in-a-movie that's pretty bad: an old woman narrating over shots of a house in a lightning storm. Cuts between her and herself as a young woman, and some possibly rotting creature enters. This is just a way of introducing us to Orville Krueger, a special effects guy specializing in horror movies.

Krueger goes to his cabin/home in the woods. He's joined by his wife, and his daughter brings a friend. He enjoys scaring them. Some "punkers" in a VW van show up, because one of them used to vacation in the area, and heard there was a big secret involving the "Hollywood" guy, and they assume it's money or drugs - to which they'd like to help themselves.

The punkers invade the house, but they find out the secret has more to do with the possible inspiration for Kreuger's grotesque makeup jobs. In the aftermath, Krueger's cosmetic surgeon brother shows up to bring matters to a close (it gets pretty silly).

The punkers all overact. The leader yells all his lines, and at least one of the members laughs in a high voice after everything he says. As punks, they're more reminiscent of Bobcat Goldthwait in the Police Academy movies. A better punk gang would have made the movie potentially scarier.

The snowy location wasn't bad. Linda Blair is OK, but she doesn't bring anything unique.

The movie ends with a freeze frame that shrinks to a small size, and as others have mentioned, some spirited ragtime music that comes out of nowhere as the credits roll.

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11 out of 18 people found the following review useful:

Sick-minded mayhem made me wince...

1/10
Author: moonspinner55 from las vegas, nv
15 January 2001

Linda Blair is a professional, capable actress who pretty much livens up every film she chooses to co-star in (yes, even "Roller Boogie"). As for "Grotesque", well... Rarely have I seen such a sick, twisted piece of sludge. At her parents' mountain abode, Linda and family are attacked by a gang of punks so disgusting they'd give Sid Vicious the shakes! After watching her mother and best friend dragged off to their deaths and seeing her father beaten to death with a log, Linda escapes into the snow wearing pajamas. I almost gave up on "Grotesque" right here. What kept me watching? The identity of the mutant in the basement? The "F/X"-styled subplot about the dad being a Hollywood make-up man? No, it was Linda herself, keeping her dignity throughout all this grotesque-ness. It's a horrible, wretched movie--and I was surprised to learn that Blair served as co-producer! However, it IS somewhat better than "Savage Island". NO STARS from ****

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5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:

Grotesque indeed.

7/10
Author: HumanoidOfFlesh from Chyby, Poland
9 August 2009

The star of "The Exorcist" Linda Blair brings along her best friend to visit her movie makeup effects expert father and mother at their house deep in the woods.Along the way they have a chance encounter with a gang of murderous punks.The anarchists break into the house and murder everybody there.While searching for the money the punks stumble onto a hidden room containing a deformed man called Patrick,who enjoys spilling blood of the villains."Grotesque" is grotesque indeed.There is enough gore and perversity to keep you occupied in its' short eighty minute running time.'Maniac Cop' Robert Z'Dar has a small cameo as one of the punks.Overall,if you are a fan of late 80's horror you can't go wrong with "Grotesque".7 out of 10.

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6 out of 9 people found the following review useful:

Better than given credit.

9/10
Author: deadelvis1988 from Atlanta, Ga.
4 November 2008

I like the film. I thought it was pretty entertaining. Pretty much any film with fake punks as antagonists is fairly fun. Think Class of 1984 with more make up. There isn't very much gore but the revenge element in the film is the clincher. There is a secret chamber in the house holding a terrible family secret. That element of the film was an obvious swipe from Bad Ronald. This is a better B grade film from the late 80's. I always thought this was a project where Linda Blair must've been desperate for work. Later I learned she was executive producer or something of that sort. I hope this makes it to DVD in the correct aspect ratio one day soon.

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7 out of 11 people found the following review useful:

No...No...Oh Please God!....NO!

Author: lobelia-1 from York County, Maine
30 March 2001

Matt and I have seen alot of really crappy movies together. We always have a good time. Or at least we DID until our (ex)friend Ron loaned us this one. We've used the database to check out the background on lots of these movies. This one made us register so we could warn others!

There were endless, pointless scenes of crazed people running through murky woods. This is not as bad as it may seem - at least this was a break from some of the worst dialogue ever scribbled on scraps of paper in the bathroom. To be fair, there were two good, albeit brief, moments in this flick. One - A terrorized victim glares at the villains and accuses them of being scum, to which the ringleader replies leeringly "It's a scummy world!" Two - The deformed, heartbroken nephew of two of the victims picks up one of the female attackers and snaps her spine against a pine tree. These moments are not worth wasting the longest 80 minutes of your life. Just say "NO!".

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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Grotesquely confused (SPOILERS).

3/10
Author: gridoon
7 September 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

It begins as a horrible "horror" flick, but fortunately we quickly find out that the opening scenes belong to a movie-within-a-movie. Then, for the next 15 minutes or so, there are some decent filmmaking vs. reality games that add an extra layer to the film. But when the punks appear, their embarrassing overacting turns this into a bottom-of-the-barrel affair. But wait! After the deformed man avenges the murders of his "family" and gets himself shot in the process, it gets even worse! There are many pointless scenes that go on far too long, especially the two "good cop-bad cop" interrogation sketches. The ending offers a gruesome twist (though ruined by bad makeup effects)....and then the REAL ending comes. It's one of the stupidest and most nonsensical endings I've ever seen, but you have to admit at least that it takes a lot of audacity to dare end your film this way. (*1/2)

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3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

An interesting effort overall.

7/10
Author: Scott LeBrun (Hey_Sweden) from Canada
17 December 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Reasonably amusing B movie with a number of familiar faces, "Grotesque" was the brainchild of actor and sometime director Joe Tornatore, and it's clear that he's having a fair bit of fun with the horror genre. Ever cute and appealing Linda Blair is Lisa, who travels with her good friend Kathy (the lovely Donna Wilkes of "Jaws 2", "Blood Song", and "Angel") to the mountain retreat of her father Orville (Guy Stockwell, "Santa Sangre"), a special effects artist. Unfortunately, there's a gang of degenerate punks - a common enough element in movies of this time - who are hellbent on retrieving the treasure that they are convinced the old man is hoarding. Having seen the whole thing, it becomes clear for this viewer, now, just what Tornatore and his screenwriter Mikel Angel were attempting with this movie, as the opening sequence turns out to be a movie within a movie. The balance of the thing is played mostly straight, although the way that one false scare is set up for an absurd length of time makes one think that Tornatore and Angel were making fun of this sort of thing in the first place. Makeup effects are really quite tacky but this, again, may well be another attempt to sort of wink at the audience and just have fun with conventions of low, low budget genre flicks. The entertaining cast also includes veteran matinée idol Tab Hunter as the uncle Rod, Brad Wilson as maniacal punk leader Scratch, in a hilariously way over the top performance, Nels Van Patten as giggling associate Gibbs (he may remind the viewer of his uncle Timothy's performance as the villain in "Class of 1984"), sexy Sharon Hughes (the inspiration for Prince's song "Little Red Corvette") as Donna, Charles Dierkop ("Messiah of Evil", "Silent Night Deadly Night") as the local sheriff, cult icon Robert Z'Dar as gang member Eric, John Goff as a producer, Tornatore himself as Charlie, and wrestling star Mike Lane (who'd worked with Bogart on the legend's last film, "The Harder They Fall"). (It's also worth noting that Goff's long time friend and fellow exploitation veteran George "Buck" Flower was the movie's pre-production coordinator.) Some good shocks and atmosphere, but the movie does plod a bit too much. The final third is a bit of a surprise, though, as it goes in a direction that people might not expect - it does, however, lead to a delicious scene of revenge, even if some might feel it doesn't go far enough. Ultimately, though, it's impossible to review this and not bring up the ending, which actually completely pulls the rug out from under us - some people watching may be quite amused, others extremely disappointed; personal taste will likely decide one's reaction. Personally, I found this silly little movie quite a hoot. Seven out of 10.

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3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

Not a bad movie (major spoilers)

5/10
Author: lthseldy1 from Norfolk, VA
2 April 2003

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

As a big fan of Blairs cheezy horror movies I found this one enjoyable. It started out pretty good with Blair and her friend driving down the road and getting hurassed by a bunch of punkers, in which I found most anoying and was the biggest downfall of the movie. They drive off leaving the punkers with a thought of getting revenge. Blair and her friend go to a cottage to see Blairs parents and the friend stays the night to get over a recent breakup with her boyfriend. This is all so nice and the movie seems to get on a good start when the punkers break in the house and kill every body except Blair. I mean they didn't even give us a chance to get to know the characters when they were killed off so soon. At least keep the dad with his wierdness for horror films, they could have used him more and made the movie more exciting. Then a monster comes out and chasses after the punkers and tries to save Blair. The rest of the movie is to strange to explain but two of the punkers get off free and are dismissed of any charges of murder and the father of the monster gets his revenge. I liked this movie but they could have extended the use of the characters.

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