For Keeps? (1988)
Darcy: Oh my God! My God, it's huge, it's a monster! It's a giant boa-constrictor, get that thing away from me, get it away, put it aways before it kills somebody!
Mr. Babrucz: Young lady you need to learn how to keep your mouth shut and your legs crossed!
Stan: You don't take care of bills by stuffing them in a shoebox!... We'll do less entertaining! And there is no reason on God's green earth that we have to have chocolate milk in the fridge at all times! Or French goddamn roast goddamn coffee, with goddamn cinnamon!
Mr. Bobrucz: You, Fifi, can take your French fruit and stuff it up your big bird!
Doctor: [after the baby's birth] Stan, would you like to cut the cord?
Stan: Isn't there someone a little more qualified?
Stan: [in the labor room] Do the pattern breathing, come on.
Darcy: Screw the pattern breathing, I want a painkiller!
Darcy: How could you name our baby Theodosia?
Stan: We needed a name for a the birth certificate, I asked you what you wanted!
Darcy: It sounds like a greek fishing boat, or a crater on the moon or something!
Stan: Oh no, my wife is not gonna get a job!
Darcy: Oh great Stan, you sound just like Fred Flintstone.
Darcy: I tried on my dress, for the prom, I look like a Thanksgiving Day float. I'm also itchy everywhere, my ankles are fat, there's something hanging out of my butt, the article's not going well and now I have to get a haircut.
Stan: There's something hanging out of your what?
Darcy: Well, when you're pregnant, sometimes you get hemorroids, okay?
Darcy: [going to the prom] Stan, it took me ten minutes to get out of the car. How am I going to make it on the dance floor?
Stan: Simple, I rented a forklift.
Stan: Why don't we just keep it.
Mr. Babrucz: Grow up! You had a gerbil last year, you forgot to feed it, it died. This baby is going up for adoption, period.
Donna Elliot: No. Darcy is not going to lug this baby around for nine months and get stretch marks so you could give it up to Catholic charities.
Mary Bobrucz: Mom, what are stretch marks?
Mr. Babrucz: Stretch marks are the badge of a real woman.
[Mrs. Babrucz covers her face, embarrassed]