Danny McGavin: You don't wanna get laid, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you gotta talk to 'em.
Dr. Feelgood: You ain't got nothing on me!
Danny McGavin: I got handcuffs on you.
Bob Hodges: [to his new partner] There's two bulls standing on top of a mountain. The younger one says to the older one: "Hey pop, let's say we run down there and fuck one of them cows". The older one says: "No son. Lets walk down and fuck 'em all".
Dr. Feelgood: Hey man, these handcuffs are too tight.
Danny McGavin: Well they ain't built for comfort, pal.
[speaking to a gang member]
other: It's a cold world blood... No Mercy; ain't that what you write on the walls?
Bob Hodges: You wanna look at pussy or learn about this job?
Danny McGavin: Not yet.
Bob Hodges: Not yet.
Frog: [to the cops about the boy in the tree] I dunno about this younger generation...
Frog: [TV version - after the boy got initiated] You screwed up now, man... You joined a gang.
Ron Delaney: [trying to encourage Larry to leave Gang life] Hey Larry, you could make it out too.
Larry Sylvester: How? Maybe I go to Hollywood. Be Eddie Murphy. Hey Frog, think America is ready to love two niggers at the same time?
Bob Hodges: Do you need anything?
Officer Rusty Baines: [sarcastically] Jeez. I don't know Hodges. Maybe some of your valuable expertise?
Danny McGavin: Hey, I doubt that. You guys are doing such a fine job that's why they call us out here at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Officer Rusty Baines: Hey, why don't you flying CRASH guys go take a flying fuck.
Danny McGavin: Hey, fuck you.
Officer Rusty Baines: [scoffs at McGavin]
Danny McGavin: Fuck you.
Diaz: Hey Hodges, what do you think about all those hot shot jitter bugs, huh?
Bob Hodges: What about 'em?
Diaz: You never went for this shit, did you?
Bob Hodges: No way.
Bob Hodges: [sitting upside down after crashing their car] My wife wants to meet you. She says, uh, you can bring a date.
Danny McGavin: Okay...
Danny McGavin: Hey you know, if you just cut me half as much slack as you do the rest of those assholes, I might just owe you one.
Bob Hodges: I have, you do.
Danny McGavin: [Intimidated and backing down] Hey, Hodges, Uncle Bob. I don't have any problems with you.
Bob Hodges: [Angrily] You got problems with the whole fuckin' world, and I'm in it... and I don't like it!
Leo 'Frog' Lopez: I know the routine, Homes. I owe you. You know, that's what makes this country great, hey, Homes?
Bob Hodges: What's that?
Leo 'Frog' Lopez: Credit! You got your Visa card. I got you, Homes.