Memorable quotes for
Caddyshack II (1988) More at IMDbPro »

Chandler Young: I'm Chandler Young.
Jack Hartounian: Oh, I'm afraid I'm at a disadvantage; I only have one last name.
Chandler Young: And quite an interesting last name it is.
Jack Hartounian: Hartounian!
Chandler Young: What is your background?
Jack Hartounian: My father was Armenian. My other was half Jewish, half English, half Spanish.
Chandler Young: That's three halves.
Jack Hartounian: Oh, she was a big woman.
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Chandler Young: Interesting club. what would you call that?
Jack Hartounian: Twelve gauge.
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Peter Blunt: Golf, golf... what kinda name is "golf" anyway? Sounds like a sound you make when you've got something caught in your throat.
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Chandler Young: Your target's name is Jack Hartounian. I want him to be discouraged from erecting any more structures on Bushwood estates.
Capt. Tom Everett: Discouraged? As in "extreme prejudice"?
Chandler Young: We already tried extreme prejudice. It didn't work.
Capt. Tom Everett: No, I mean do you want him... Everett pulls out a gun.
Capt. Tom Everett: ...terminated?
Chandler Young: The less I know about that, the better.
Capt. Tom Everett: Good! Good, that's my policy exactly. You see, that way, when we're captured, and they attach the twelve-volt car batteries to our testicles... which can, does, and... has happened...
[Everett winces as electricity is heard]
Capt. Tom Everett: ...then we can honestly say we had nothing to do with it.
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Cynthia Young: [about Jack] The man tried to kill me.
Chandler Young: I'm sure he had his reeasons.
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[the Youngs arrive at Bushwood after Jack renovates it]
Cynthia Young: I want to go home.
Chandler Young: Now now, Cynthia. The last thing we want to do is let him think he's winning.
Cynthia Young: But he IS winning!
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Jack Hartounian: [to one of his workers] Take chances. I'm insured.
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Ty Webb: We're talking mucho dinero, and probably some American money too.
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[Chandler Young has gotten Hartounian Construction's power turned off]
Peter Blunt: [on phone] That's hard to say, huh? Well, when can we get the power turned back on? That's hard to say, huh? Well, tell me something. Is it as hard to say as "Oh, my god! Somebody help me! There's a man in my office with a *flamethrower*"?
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Capt. Tom Everett: In future conversations, you will refer to me as... uh, Mr. Sanderson and I will refer to you as... uh, Mrs. Esterhouse.
Chandler Young: Captain Everett...
Capt. Tom Everett: Goodbye, Mrs. Esterhouse.
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Peter Blunt: Well, you certainly made it very clear how your legal system works Mr. Young. Now, I'd like to explain a little bit about the Peter Blunt system. You see, I don't go in for lawsuits and motions or any of the legal stuff. No, no, you see what happens is, uh, I find out where you live and then I come to your house, see? And I beat down your door with a fucking baseball bat! And, then I make a bonfire with the Chipendale, maybe roast that Golden Retriever, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, then eat it! And then I'm coming upstairs, junior, and I'm gonna grab you by your Brooks Bros. P.J.s, and then I'm gonna take your brand new B.M.W., and cram it up your tight ass! Do we have an understanding?
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Capt. Tom Everett: If I pull the arrow out, will you p-please s-suck out the poison?
Ty Webb: Let me get this straight. You pull it out, I suck. Is there any money in it for me?
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Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Kate, I've decided that you must join my sorority, and I know that the Kappas are just gonna love you. There's only one thing: would you consider of changing your name? I was think thinking about taking out the "ounian" and shortening it to Kate Hart. Isn't that great?
Kate Hartounian: Whoa, wait a second. What is wrong with my real name?
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Nothing. It's just that it sounds so...
Kate Hartounian: [sternly] So what?
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Kate, you want people to think that you belong.
Kate Hartounian: I do belong - to a family.
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: Well, if you want my honest opinion, Kate: I think that your family's real embarrassing, and I'm very happy that I'm not a part of it.
Kate Hartounian: Yeah, so am I.
[Kate roughly grabs Miffy]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: What?
[Kate throws Miffy on the ground as Miffy gets angry]
Kate Hartounian: Miffy, you are a stupid, superficial, snotty, little bitch.
[Kate leaves]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: [furiously] Oh, really? Really, Kate? Whatever! Whatev...
[Miffy gets hit from a branch and falls down the hill]
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[the Youngs lost the golf game after the gopher switched the bomb ball]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: [angry about her father] Mother, how could you marry a man with such a terrible short game?
Cynthia Young: Oh, shut up, Mary Frances, you spoiled, snotty, superficial, little bitch!
[Cynthia leaves]
Mary Frances 'Miffy' Young: [offended] *What*!
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