Memorable quotes for
"Roseanne" (1988) More at IMDbPro »

Roseanne: Here I am, 5 o'clock in the morning, stuffing breadcrumbs up a dead bird's butt.

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Dan Conner: You want me to make dinner? Fine, I am making dinner!
Roseanne: Oh but honey you just made dinner 3 years ago!

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Jackie Harris: This IS Mom, right?
Roseanne: I don't know, better check that birthmark
[looks on Bev's neck]
Roseanne: No, six-six-FIVE! Close enough.

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Dan Conner: Whoa! Cool it before I give my wife a donut to kick your butt.

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Dan Conner: Do you ever regret marrying me?
Roseanne: Only every second of my life.

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Becky Conner: Mom, where's my history book?
Roseanne: I sold it.

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