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1988
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1997
18 October 1988In the series pilot, Roseanne is summoned to a parent/teacher conference after Darlene has been barking in class.
25 October 1988When Dan receives a $500 advance on a drywall job, everyone hopes there will be money left over for something extra for themselves. When it turns out that, after the bills are paid, there will barely be enough left to buy one thing, Dan and Roseanne each buy themselves a luxury item on the sly. Darlene is scolded for lying, but they each ask her to hide the truth about something.
1 November 1988Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic dinner date out, and run into an old friend that they were unaware had been divorced. When they learn that her divorce was because her husband refused to allow her to follow a dream, that Roseanne inspired, Dan wonders if Roseanne will grow to feel the same way. When Jackie is late for baby-sitting, Becky is allowed to cover, much to the delight of the kids.
22 November 1988While making his famous chili, Dan awaits a phone call about a badly-needed construction job, and has to run Jackie off the phone. Dan expresses his annoyance with Jackie always being over at their house to Roseanne, but while Dan and Roseanne are taking a relationship test in the back of a teen magazine for fun, his annoyances about Jackie come to the surface in front of her. When she comments that he wouldn't even notice so much if he had a job, Dan is pushed too far. Darlene is making a castle for extra credit because she is flunking History, but D.J. accidentally destroys it, causing a fight between the two.
Season 1, Episode 5: Radio Days
29 November 1988Roseanne wants Dan into entering a country music song-writing contest sponsored by the local radio station. Dan is reluctant to do so until he finds out that the grand prize is a hundred dollars. Unable to come up with a new idea, and not pleased with anything he wrote in the past, Dan chooses one of Roseanne's old poems to put to music. Sexual tension between Jackie and Booker heat up in the workplace. Becky and Darlene are at each other's throats.
6 December 1988Roseanne talks Booker and the women from work into going bowling. Becky gets dolled up for the night out, because she has a first crush on a boy from her school that works at the bowling alley, but is mortified at the thought of being embarrassed by her parents. Jackie and Booker make a "friendly" wager involving a sleepover vs. toilet bowl scrubbing.
13 December 1988
20 December 1988Upset because she got dumped again, and certain she will never find a good man, Crystal turns to Roseanne and Jackie for support and advice. Booker turns down a date with Jackie because his "Mother" is in town, and turns up at the Lobo Lounge with another woman. Jackie decides not to turn the other cheek. Praying for a snow day, Darlene procrastinates doing a book report she has to turn in the next day.
3 January 1989The kids plan a birthday breakfast for their Dad. Roseanne plans a birthday bash for Dan at the Lobo Lounge. What starts out as a great party, soon turn sour, when a drunken bar patron picks a fight with Dan over use of the pool table. A furious Roseanne prevents Dan from brawling with the bruiser, leaving Dan humiliated and angry. Becky is nervous about meeting and having diner with her boyfriend's parents.
Season 1, Episode 10: Saturday
10 January 1989
17 January 1989Roseanne and Dan clash over what will be donated to a charity drive. Dan has trouble letting go of his stuff, so he plots ways to keep it. Darlene is worried about a bad grade on her report card getting her into trouble, so she plots to conceal the truth from her parents. Jackie is upset with Booker for nearly standing her up... again.
24 January 1989Darlene is discovering that her job delivering newspapers is not the easy way to make money she thought it would be. Roseanne and Dan each try to plan a second honeymoon, and disagree on which one they should take, leaving Jackie to step in and save the day. Becky is stuck with a moral dilemma at school.
31 January 1989Dan and Roseanne contend with a miserable Crystal who can't get over her husband's death years earlier.
7 February 1989Dan's father arrives for a visit, and old resentments and hostility are brought into the light. The first of Ned Beatty's appearances as Ed Conner.
14 February 1989After Dan and the kids stay up late watching a horror movie, Roseanne must contend with a terrified Darlene keeping her up all night but soon learns there's more going on with her growing daughter than simple night terrors.
Season 1, Episode 16: Mall Story
21 February 1989A day at the mall finds Becky giving Roseanne the silent treatment, Jackie lamenting about her life's lack of direction and Dan waiting in vain to buy a new pair of shoes.
28 February 1989Dan and Roseanne discover a difficult new side to Becky when they invite Chip and his parents over for a dinner party.
7 March 1989Roseanne takes a guilt trip when Darlene faces a sudden, emergency appendectomy and the two have been at each other's throats for weeks.
14 March 1989While Roseanne has to work overtime at the factory, Dan struggles to keep the house and family running with mixed results.
28 March 1989As a tornado blows through Lanford, Roseanne & co. work to keep their cool amidst potential disaster.
11 April 1989Roseanne's hospitality bites her in the behind when a door-to-door salesman she lets in the house dies in their kitchen and the family must contend with the corpse all day until the coroner can arrive.
18 April 1989The Conner household is thrown into chaos with the arrival of Roseanne's parents who do nothing but criticize their daughters behind their backs.
2 May 1989A firm, no-nonsense supervisor takes charge at Wellman's, demanding a quota of 8,000 units. Roseanne, Jackie and all the women feel it's a tough load to handle. However, the boss will come down on his demands if Roseanne can swallow her pride and be humane.
12 September 1989An embarrassing episode for Becky during a student council meeting sees Roseanne sharing her most embarrassing moments from her own life with her daughter.
19 September 1989Roseanne and Jackie are at odds when Jackie announces she's going to the Police Academy.
26 September 1989Tired and frustrated of her job selling magazines over the phone, Roseanne is ecstatic when she gets an interview at a meat packing plant that seems like a sure thing.
3 October 1989An emotionally-needy architect at Dan's new job site adopts the Conners as a surrogate family much to their terror.
10 October 1989Roseanne feels the empty nest syndrome when Jackie leaves for police training and Darlene goes to her first party.
24 October 1989Roseanne is perturbed when a friend of Dan's plants a passionate kiss on her during Dan's weekly poker night with his buddies. The first appearance of Tom Arnold as Arnie.
Season 2, Episode 7: BOO!
31 October 1989The first of the annual Halloween episodes finds Roseanne doing her best to scare Dan who is waiting to hear about an important business deal going through.
7 November 1989Ten minutes alone in the bathtub is all Roseanne wants, and when she doesn't get it, her fantasies take hold for thirty wild and musical minutes.
November 1989Thanksgiving at the Conners brings the usual family strife and hilarity as Roseanne is determined to make her parents stay at a motel and Jackie continues to hide the fact she joined the police.
28 November 1989Roseanne is ecstatic when Darlene is asked to read her poem for her school's recital, but Darlene refuses to do it.
Season 2, Episode 11: Lobocop
5 December 1989Working two jobs, Roseanne finds she and Dan are drifting apart and turns to Jackie for support.
Season 2, Episode 12: No Talking
12 December 1989Roseanne gets the silent treatment after clashing with Becky when she becomes the teenage daughter from hell.
19 December 1989Roseanne lands a job at a chicken restaurant, with a total dweeb for a supervisor. He wants her to work weekends, which she is unable to do, so she invites the boy to dinner and gets Dan to help him assemble his carburetor for school. But will the kindness pay off in the end?
9 January 1990With the adults away, Becky and her friend Dana, decide to really live it up. Using the alcoholic beverages in the house, Becky creates two "twisters", and the girls experience next-day hangovers, which can be the side effects from taking that first sip of a near-fatal glass of beer.
23 January 1990Jackie plays happy homemaker with Dan and the kids when Roseanne is called away for three days for a family emergency.
30 January 1990In his first appearance, Dan and Roseanne's old friend Ziggy returns for a visit, prompting the Conners to wonder what happened to themselves and when they became "old".
Season 2, Episode 17: Hair
6 February 1990Roseanne feels she's sunk to an all-time low when she gets a job sweeping up hair at a hair salon.
Season 2, Episode 18: I'm Hungry
13 February 1990Determined to squeeze back into an old pair of jeans, Roseanne commits herself (and Dan, much to his horror) to yet another dieting spree.
Season 2, Episode 19: All of Me
20 February 1990Roseanne's meddling in Jackie's life explodes in her face.
27 February 1990Jackie gives Roseanne the silent treatment after she's had enough of her interfering in her love life.
20 March 1990Roseanne and Dan contemplate a lawsuit after Mrs. Wellman rear-ends Roseanne in her car.
10 April 1990The countdown to the deadline for filing their tax returns finds Dan and Roseanne running around in circles trying to get it done in time.
1 May 1990Convinced that Dan and Becky's relationship needs some maintenance, Roseanne forces him to accompany Becky to the mall as she tries to bond with Darlene.
8 May 1990For Roseanne's birthday, Dan fixes up the basement as a space for her to write and takes the kids away for the day. Roseanne is ecstatic...and then stricken with writer's block.
Season 3, Episode 1: The Test
18 September 1990The entire family clusters around Roseanne for the longest ten minutes of their lives as they await the results of a pregnancy test.
25 September 1990Roseanne and Dan clash after Dan loans some money to Arnie. When he comes up short when it's time to pay some bills, he refuses to borrow the money from Jackie.
2 October 1990Roseanne and Dan ponder whether it's time to give Becky "the talk", but Darlene surprises them all when she's discovered making out with her friend.
9 October 1990Leaving behind her days at the hair salon, Roseanne starts her new job as a waitress at Rodbell's, much to Becky and Darlene's horror.
15 October 1990Jackie is injured in the line of duty, prompting an ugly ultimatum from her boyfriend Gary.
23 October 1990Roseanne and Dan contend with a newly rebellious Becky when they forbid her to see her new boyfriend. First appearance of Glenn Quinn as Mark.
30 October 1990Gender bending abounds with the annual Conner fright-fest that finds Roseanne in drag and Dan worrying about DJ dressing up as a witch.
6 November 1990The family is run ragged catering to Roseanne's changing moods during her time of the month.
13 November 1990Becky is suspended from school after giving the finger in a class photo.
27 November 1990Roseanne feels threatened when Dan is having recurring dreams about another woman.
4 December 1990Dan and Roseanne stay out late reliving their dating days while simultaneously trying to scare Becky and Darlene into respecting their curfews.
12 December 1990Roseanne's mother, Beverly, visits for the weekend, much to the dismay of the family. Roseanne tricks Jackie into coming over to help keep her from being alone with her mother. While confessing youthful transgressions to their Mom for fun, Jackie discovers that her parents always thought she had potential to make something out of herself; while Roseanne discovers that they always knew that she would "just" be an ordinary housewife and mother. Roseanne finds this revelation hurtful, and wonders if she treats her own daughters that differently.
8 January 1991Part 1 of 2. Roseanne plans an impromptu Christmas dinner party in January for Dan's father Ed, who couldn't be there for Christmas. She decides to invite Donald, a customer she knows at Rodbell's Coffee Shop, and Crystal, with a ruse, as a surprise fix-up for the two. Just before dinner is served, however, Roseanne is served a huge surprise of her own, forcing her to rethink her plans. When Dan is let in on the secret, he becomes irate, and stubbornly refuses to accept reality.
15 January 1991Part 2 of 2. Roseanne throws Crystal a bridal shower and discovers yet another secret. Ed desperately tried to bond with Crystal's son Lonnie. Dan vehemently opposes this wedding, and is furious with Roseanne for participating in it against his wishes. Convinced that his father will ruin Crystal's life, Dan confronts the man in hopes of getting him to call the wedding off.
22 January 1991Becky's lying about seeing Mark leads to her leaving home to stay with Jackie.
Season 3, Episode 16: Home-Ec
5 February 1991Roseanne discovers her inner feminist when an invitation from Darlene's school to Dan for career day inspires her to speak to Darlene's class about being a homemaker.
12 February 1991Darlene and Becky clash when the boy Darlene likes asks out Becky; Roseanne awaits a special Valentine's gift from Dan. First appearance of Martin Mull as Leon and Bonnie Sheridan as Bonnie.
19 February 1991Jackie's in trouble when she has to perform the lead role in a community production of "Cyrano de Bergerac" and doesn't know her lines.
26 February 1991Roseanne and Dan are off to Vegas for the weekend, leaving the kids home alone, but Roseanne's new boss and a snowstorm may have other ideas.
12 March 1991Becky's boyfriend Mark is certainly not popular around the Conner house when Dan learns he and Becky tampered with his vintage motorcycle, Dan hits the roof, blaming Becky, while Roseanne heads to Mark's house to try and make him break up with her daughter.
26 March 1991Roseanne clashes with her uptight new neighbor, Kathy Bowman.
2 April 1991A close shave with a wrecking ball lead Roseanne and Dan to wonder who should get custody of the kids if they ever both die.
30 April 1991Darlene resents Roseanne's sudden interest in her life when a boy asks her to her first school dance.
7 May 1991The family barbecue sees Nana Mary's first appearance on the show. Family and friends (except Dan's father and Roseanne's mother) gather at the Conner household for food, drink and singing, and Roseanne's fellow waitress Bonnie, gets a chance to show what a great singer she really is. Beverley still manages to upset Roseanne and Jackie from the other end of the phone, but Nana Mary turns the tables on her.
14 May 1991Roseanne is wary when Ziggy breezes back into Lanford, romancing Jackie and filling Dan's head with notions of opening a bike shop.
17 September 1991Roseanne has a hard time dealing with Becky's announcement that she wants to go on the pill.
24 September 1991The family is falling apart when Roseanne is working 15 hour days both at the diner and the bike shop helping Dan.
1 October 1991A one night stand prompts Jackie to improve her life by becoming a trucker.
8 October 1991Roseanne and Dan are troubled by Darlene's recent withdrawn behavior and try to get through to her with little success.
15 October 1991Roseanne clashes with her next door neighbor after their house is robbed while they are away for the weekend.
29 October 1991The annual Halloween Lanford event finds Roseanne following her neighbor Kathy Bowman, convinced she's planning a prank, and Jackie flirting with an unknown man in a moose costume.
Season 4, Episode 7: Vegas
5 November 1991Dan and Roseanne can't seem to get along lately, even in Vegas when Nancy and Arnie pay for their trip to celebrate their engagement. First appearance of Sandra Bernhard as Nancy.
12 November 1991Not even a surprise appearance by Wayne Newton is able to bring everyone together as the Vegas adventure continues for Dan and Roseanne.
19 November 1991Stressed at work and at home, Roseanne does her best to hide the fact she's been smoking.
26 November 1991Thanksgiving weekend sees another visit by friends and family including Nana Mary and a husband-less Bev.
3 December 1991Roseanne accompanies Jackie on a trucking run to Kansas City so they can meet their father's mistress, meanwhile Becky's boss gives her a hard time at the supermarket.
24 December 1991The Christmas season finds Roseanne volunteering to be Santa at the mall where she makes a surprising discovery about Darlene's new friend Karen.
Season 4, Episode 13: Bingo
7 January 1992Becky and Darlene babysit Little Ed, while Roseanne accompanies Jackie and Crystal to bingo. After a few rounds, Rosie becomes a bona fide bingoholic!
21 January 1992Roseanne is annoyed by Jackie's new friendship with Nancy, meanwhile Dan and his team try to get out of last place in their bowling league.
4 February 1992D.J.'s 10th birthday finds Roseanne with her back out and Bev visiting and constantly usurping Dan.
11 February 1992After throwing her back out again, Roseanne opts for a breast reduction.
18 February 1992Dan and Roseanne are ecstatic when Mark and Becky break up.
25 February 1992Roseanne comes down hard on Darlene for running off to Chicago with David, but a trip to the house she grew up in with Jackie gives her a new perspective on her troubled daughter.
3 March 1992The Conner family tries to get in on a Rodbell's commercial being filmed at the diner.
Season 4, Episode 20: Therapy
17 March 1992Jackie reveals to Roseanne she's been seeing a therapist and asks her to come, meanwhile Darlene dreads a confrontation with a bully she insulted.
Season 4, Episode 21: Lies
24 March 1992Roseanne frets when she must take a lie detector test at work.
31 March 1992Roseanne and Bonnie decide they each want Leon's job when he announces he's leaving, meanwhile Crystal goes into labor with only Dan as her coach.
Season 4, Episode 23: Secrets
28 April 1992Dan covers for Mark when he gets drunk at the Lobo Lounge and hides it from Roseanne.
5 May 1992Mother's Day finds Becky and Darlene treating Roseanne to a day at the spa with ulterior motives.
Season 4, Episode 25: Aliens
12 May 1992Things are tense when Becky finds out she no longer has a college fund, meanwhile DJ attends a spelling bee final.
15 September 1992Becky is upset after Mark gets a job offer in Minnesota and Dan is forced to close the bike shop.
22 September 1992Becky and Mark return to Lanford to get their stuff after eloping.
29 September 1992Dan and Roseanne look at Darlene in a new light after David spends the night.
6 October 1992After Bev sells her house and gives Roseanne and Jackie each $10,000, the girls balk at the thought of their mother moving to Lanford.
13 October 1992Darlene's 16th birthday sees new neighbors moving in next door and an embarrassing game of truth or dare for Roseanne.
20 October 1992Intent on opening a loose meat restaurant, Roseanne and Jackie are forced to turn to Bev for financial assistance.
27 October 1992Roseanne is visited by the ghosts of Halloween past, present and future when she can't get into the spirit of things like usual.
10 November 1992Roseanne finds herself upset over Bev moving into a retirement community, meanwhile Nancy announces she is a lesbian.
17 November 1992Arnie returns to Lanford to try and win Nancy back, and Roseanne enrolls in a self defense course after being harassed by a strange man at the Lunch Box.
24 November 1992Roseanne permits Darlene to accompany next door neighbor Molly to a concert in Rockford.
1 December 1992D.J. joins a pee wee hockey team and Jackie breaks up with Fisher.
15 December 1992A Christmas Eve snowstorm finds Roseanne, Jackie, Bev and Nana Mary snowed in at the diner, and Darlene at David's where she gets an eye opening view of his home life.
5 January 1993Part 1 of 2: D.J. is busted at school for having obscene reading material. Dan meets with the principle, but dreads it, because he is certain that the reading material D.J. brought to school is one of his porno magazines. He soon discovers that the reading material is far more sick and twisted than just a skin magazine; begging the question of where D.J. got it, and leaving him speechless by the answer. Roseanne and Dan discover that Jackie has been keeping a dark secret, and each of them try to help her by dealing with it in their own, unique, way.
12 January 1993Part 2 of 2: Dan gets bailed out of jail by an amused Darlene, while rumors fly from wild to wilder, as to why he was arrested. Jackie learns why Dan was arrested, and finds herself both angry with, and touched by Dan's protective gesture. Overwhelmed, and feeling like things are moving too fast, Jackie leans on Roseanne to help her move out of Fisher's apartment. Roseanne lovingly declares that her family is officially "Poor White Trash".
26 January 1993The Conners prepare for the 'Founding Fathers Day' celebration in Lanford. Roseanne sets up a food booth, where she meets the one and only, Loretta Lynn. D.J. and his Woodchuck Troup, put on the town play reenacting the signing of Lanford's incorporation. Their family's own founding father, Dan, gets a job selling hot tubs. And last, but not least, Darlene protests the Conner's involvement in the whole "meat industrial complex" with vandalism at her mother's diner that lands her in more than just hot water.
9 February 1993The death of their father finds Jackie a basket case and Roseanne resolving some long-buried issues, meanwhile Bev meets her husband's mistress.
16 February 1993Roseanne dreads the arrival of her estranged cousin Ronnie. Joan Collins guest-stars.
23 February 1993Needing a vacation, Roseanne and family hitch a ride to California with the next door neighbors in their Winnebago.
Season 5, Episode 19: It's a Boy
2 March 1993David is allowed to move away from his abusive mother and into the Conner's humble abode.
9 March 1993Roseanne and Dan plan a romantic dinner date to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary, but struggle with what to give one another. Dan finds out that Roseanne has decided on something expensive for him, so in order to get Roseanne a nice gift too, he takes a temporary job at Maury's Big and Tall store. His gift idea (and the job to pay for it), which seemed like a good idea at the time, soon blows up in his face.
23 March 1993Tired of having their Mom hanging around them all the time, Roseanne and Jackie try to encourage a relationship between Beverly and Jake, her friend from the retirement community they both live in. Molly comes on to, and kisses David, making him nervous and uncomfortable. To back her off, David confesses the plans he and Darlene have for the future, like possibly dropping out of school and running away together. Having seen and overheard this strange exchange, D.J. confronts Darlene with what he knows, and asks her if any of it is true, prompting Darlene ponders David's fate.
6 April 1993After some prodding from (and striking deals with) her Mom, Darlene agrees to go to the prom with David, where she has a surprise deal of her own for her boyfriend. Roger attempts to strike a deal with Dan, using the temptation of being able to make him a ton of money, but is met with a mixed reaction from the Conners. Roseanne attempts a surprise fix-up between Jackie and Roger for a couples' night out, but to Roseanne's surprise, Roger shows up with a date. His choice of date is a jaw-dropping, shock to everyone.
4 May 1993When it looks like the fixer-upper house Dan has invested in is going to pay off, the Conners are on top of the world. But when the buyer backs out, and one partner skips out, and the bills are due on the project-house, that world threatens to come crashing down. Pushed by Beverly's latest attempt at driving Jackie insane, Jackie finally blurts out to her Mom that she has been seeing a psychiatrist. Nancy decides she wants to have a baby, but her chosen sperm-donor turns out to be a real rotten egg. An unlikely source rides in who just may save the day for the Conners.
11 May 1993D.J. comes running in the house with a skinned knee. Dan and Roseanne take him to the kitchen to get fixed up, but when Dan slings open the freezer door to get ice, he accidentally hits Roseanne in the face, knocking out a tooth. After a few failed attempts earlier in their relationship, Darlene and David finally have sex for the first time. They also get the responses to their college applications. David doesn't get in, but Darlene does, prompting her to hide the truth... at first. Determined to be allowed to go to this art school in Chicago, Darlene enlists her Aunt Jackie's help to try and talk Roseanne into letting her go. Dan gets a job with the City.
18 May 1993Roseanne worries that Darlene may be planning to run away from home; new neighbor George befriends D.J.
14 September 1993Roseanne is looking forward to taking Darlene to college, but Darlene wants David to take her instead, hurting her mother's feeling in the process.
21 September 1993Roseanne makes a deal with Jackie, that if she asks Fred out, Roseanne will ask their mother to become a silent partner in the restaurant, and stay away. This hurts Beverly's feeling, and she swears not to have anything further to do with either one of them. Jackie and Fred go out; Fred wants to keep seeing Jackie, but she doesn't want to. Roseanne feels guilty about hurting her Mom, and wants her Mom to do something hurtful back to lessen her guilt. Beverly takes her up on it by selling her share of the diner to the last person Roseanne would have expected... or wanted.
28 September 1993Jackie and Roseanne plan a house-warming party for Jackie's new home, and attempt to hide it from their Mom. Roseanne invites Darlene home for the weekend with the agenda of getting David and Darlene back together. D.J. goes through a rebellious period, skipping school and enlisting Darlene's help to cover for him, making Roseanne determined for find out what he is up to. Fred pursues Jackie after their one-night-stand.
5 October 1993"A Stash from the Past" is a wise, waggish and exceedingly daring episode from a sitcom renowned for its unflinching audacity. When Roseanne finds a bag of pot in one of the kids' rooms, she's angry---and worried about how Dan is going to react. Of course, he goes ballistic, until he realizes the stuff is a 20-year old relic of his and Roseanne's youth, inevitably, they roll a joint for old times' sake, and before you can say "like, wow," Dan, Roseanne and her sister, Jackie, are adrift in a Cheech-and-Chong time warp. At first, they have fun sneaking around like they did in the '70s, hoping not to get busted by their children, but then adult realities set in like a bad trip.
Season 6, Episode 5: Be My Baby
19 October 1993Trying to conceive another child, Roseanne puts Dan on a "love-making schedule", to no avail. Jackie discovers that she's pregnant from her one-night-stand with Fred, and is hesitant about telling him. Roseanne has no problem spreading Jackie's good news to their Mother, and their friends, but is stopped before she can tell Fred. To relieve the pressure and disappointment, Dan and Roseanne decide to stop actually trying to get pregnant, and let nature take it's course.
26 October 1993The Conner's gear up for their favorite holiday, with their traditional flare for trying to out-prank one another. Roseanne, the queen of Halloween, falls for the various elaborate pranks pulled on her by her family, for a change. Nancy is upset because she is painfully aware that Dan doesn't like her, so Roseanne sets out to convince her she is wrong by insisting that Dan pull a prank on Nancy, before Nancy sells her share of the diner to Leon.
2 November 1993Roseanne tries to encourage David to snap out of his moping about Darlene being away at school, and do something with his life, but it backfires when David decides to move back in with his Mom in Michigan. Darlene comes home for a visit to surprise David, but they wind up at each others' throats. D.J. is humiliated when the entire family figures out why he locks himself in the bathroom for long periods of time.
9 November 1993An old fling of Dan's, and old nemesis of Roseanne's from high school visits Dan at the City Garage, and invites him out to lunch. Jackie finds out from Fred, lies to Roseanne about where Dan is, confronts Dan at home later that evening, but believes him that it was only an innocent lunch. Unaware of how Dan spent his lunch hour, Roseanne confides in Jackie that Dan played hooky that afternoon, and the two of them had the best sex ever. Thanks to Jackie's inability to lie convincingly to Roseanne, she realizes that she has been lied to, forcing Dan to come clean about who he spent his lunch with. Enraged and humiliated, Roseanne walks out on Dan.
Season 6, Episode 9: Homecoming
16 November 1993Following the Homecoming game, Dan holds a 25-year-reunion party for his former high school football team, begging his family to behave loving and happy for the duration. Becky and Mark come home for a visit after a long absence following their move. The two are fighting, and Becky contemplates leaving him. Roseanne invites Becky and Mark to move in so they can get on their feet financially. Darlene confides a secret she's keeping with her sister.
23 November 1993
30 November 1993Leon manipulates Nancy and Jackie into voting to serve breakfast at the diner, among other changes, without consulting Roseanne. Starved for attention, D.J. steals and wrecks the family car while joy-riding, causing a stressed-out Roseanne to lash out in a violent way that she quickly regrets. The power-play between Leon and Roseanne escalates, prompting Dan to have a talk with Leon about backing off. When Dan realizes that Roseanne is not just being paranoid where Leon is concerned, he steps aside, leaving Leon to Roseanne's mercy.
14 December 1993After receiving notice from the neighborhood association about not putting up tacky Christmas decorations on their property, the Conners go all out for a "white trash" Christmas. Dan and Roseanne offer Becky money to start college, but freak when she gives the money to her husband, Mark, to attend trade-school, forbidding her give it to him. Becky retaliates by refusing the money, taking a job in a Hooter's-like bar/restaurant, Bunz, to pay for Mark's school herself. When Beverly and D.J. drop in on Darlene unannounced, D.J. discovers a secret that Darlene has been keeping from the family. Dan teaches Mark secrets of a happy marriage.
4 January 1994Roseanne decides to join the Lanford Women's Association to develop contacts for her restaurant, especially since Leon is opposed to her being the one to do it. In an effort to suck-up, Roseanne makes D.J. play with one of the member's weird son, Elijah. Dan discovers that, instead of going to school every evening, Mark has been going to the Lobo Lounge because he dropped out, and didn't want Becky to know. In a special cameo skit at the end, the famous "Luke" and "Laura", from "General Hospital", compare hardships with Dan and Roseanne.
Season 6, Episode 14: Busted
11 January 1994Darlene is fed up with David, who has been secretly living with her for months instead of his mother in Michigan, as Dan and Roseanne believe, but feels guilty for constantly having to lie to her parents. A miserable Becky unfairly blames Roseanne for Mark walking out on her. Tired of being blamed for the whole mess, Roseanne tries to get Mark to patch things up with Becky, seeking him out at his friend's apartment. Roseanne discovers the truth about where David is from Mark's confused roommate, prompting her to go to Chicago, and drag David home with her, but lies to Dan about why David is back in the house.
1 February 1994Roseanne and Becky try to convince Dan to hire Mark at the city garage. Riddled with guilt (and tired of Roseanne working him like a dog), David confessed to Dan that he was living with Darlene in Chicago instead of his mother's in Michigan. Furious, Dan throws him out of the house, telling Roseanne to take him to the bus station and send him to Michigan for real, but she takes him to Jackie's instead. Roseanne goes on a mission to guilt Dan into taking David back. Jackie is upset when she discovers that, with Roseanne's help, Fred has been sneaking financial support for the baby into her tip jar, since she wants nothing to do with him.
8 February 1994Darlene comes home to try to convince her father to let David move back in the house "from Michigan", without success. After catching David making out in the basement with Darlene, Dan finds out that he was lied to by his family once again, discovering that not only did David not go to his mother's in Michigan when Dan threw him out, but that he was staying with Jackie... and that Roseanne was responsible. Darlene joins David at Jackie's house, to get away from her angry father. Jackie gets irritated when people keep asking her to leave the room, in her own house, when they want to talk out their problems.
15 February 1994Since Jackie has made it very clear that Fred is not welcome to be a part of their baby's life, Fred retaliates with plans to sue Jackie for custody after the birth, which throws Jackie into hysterics. Fighting over whether Fred has the right to force himself into his baby's life, split the men and women of the Conner house. Roseanne learns that Dan put the idea in Fred's head, which puts him under the doghouse. Mark and D.J. gang up on David to challenge his masculinity, or lack there of.
1 March 1994Nancy introduces her new girlfriend, Sharon, to Roseanne and Jackie. Sharon invites them to go out dancing with she and Nancy at a gay bar, and winds up giving Roseanne a romantic kiss. This freaks Roseanne out, but she has a hard time figuring out why. Jackie is openly uncomfortable about people assuming she might be gay, which prompts an amused Roseanne to behave like they are a couple.
Season 6, Episode 19: Labor Day
8 March 1994Jackie tells Roseanne that Fred wants to be in the delivery room, and the hospital will only allow one extra person to be with her. When Jackie realizes that she is in labor, Roseanne puts off calling Fred to let him know, in hopes that she will get to be the one who stays with Jackie during the delivery. Guilt over this delay gets the better of her, and she sends Dan out to try and find him. Beverly reveals to Jackie that she was born with the name "Margorie", but that Roseanne had trouble saying it, calling her "My Jackie" instead, and the name stuck.
22 March 1994Audrey cries to Dan about his father owing her money, so he confronts Ed, hoping he will do the right thing. Jackie and Fred go out on a "get to know you better" date, in hopes of building an honest, solid relationship. Jackie admits to Fred the fact that she has had a lot more sexual partners than he has, causing a rift, and a step backwards in the relationship they are trying to build. D.J. goes through a rebellious stage.
29 March 1994Dan's mother, Audrey, is put into a mental institute, and Dan blames the years of neglect by his father for her emotional problems. Determined to confront his Dad, he shows up at Ed's second wife, Crystal's house drunk and destructive. Crystal, tired of Dan blaming everything on her husband, tells Roseanne a secret about Audrey that had been kept from Dan his whole life. Dan is mortified an filled with disbelief about Crystal's revelations. The older Conner-Healy kids work overtime to make D.J. think he might be crazy too.
3 May 1994Darlene discovers that D.J. has been sneaking off after to school to attend church; D.J. gives Roseanne a hard time about morals when she accepts a mistaken delivery of a second stove at the diner.
10 May 1994Roseanne finds out Bev didn't get injured by slipping in the shower like she told everybody. Fred plans to propose to Jackie.
17 May 1994Fred climbs out of the doghouse with Jackie by gathering inspiration from her soaps, and figuring out a romantic way to propose to her. David climbs into the doghouse with Darlene by commenting that it's a woman's obligation to bear children. Dan joins David in the doghouse when his attempt to be romantic with Roseanne fall short. Roseanne dreams of being romanced by the men on
"One Life to Live" (1968).
Season 6, Episode 25: Altar Egos
24 May 1994Fred is unsettled by the fact that Jackie turns to Dan, and not him, when she needs help from a man. Upset, convinced that Jackie has feeling for Dan, and half-drunk, Fred confronts Dan, takes a swing at him, and tells Jackie that maybe they shouldn't get married, but offers no explanation. Dan tells Roseanne, who tells Jackie what is really troubling Fred, and they both have a good laugh at the idea. Clearing the air paves the way for Fred and Jackie's wedding.
21 September 1994Feeling at the end of their "privacy" rope, Roseanne and Dan decide to throw Becky and Mark out of the house. Becky confides that she and Mark are trying to get pregnant, so the plan to ask them to leave gets thrown out the window. Jackie argues with Fred about how she wants the baby to sleep in bed with them, and he wants Andy to sleep in his own crib. Upset, Jackie takes the baby and heads for Roseanne's already over-crowded house to stay there herself. To top it all off, D.J. is having a friend of his own spend the weekend. The straw that breaks the camel's back for Dan, is when everyone in the house congregates in Dan's bathroom while he was trying to have a private conversation with Roseanne. Fed up, he seeks refuge at Fred's house. Roseanne makes a shocking discovery.
28 September 1994Roseanne discovers that Darlene is seeing someone besides David, and that he knows about it, so she encourages David to fight for his relationship. Dan confides in Jackie that he is unsure how he feels about Roseanne's pregnancy, and finds comfort, but when he tells Roseanne about his insecurities, it blows up in his face. Roseanne confides in Jackie that she is having the same doubts.
5 October 1994Upset about Darlene breaking up with him, David tells the Conner's that Darlene experimented with drugs while away at school. Roseanne forbids Darlene to return to school, David volunteers to help "keep an eye" on her. Concerned that perhaps they are doing the wrong thing, and after confronting Darlene, Dan convinces Roseanne to at least reconsider her decision.
Season 7, Episode 4: Girl Talk
12 October 1994Dan, Fred and Mark enter the realm of 'too much information' when their wives confide in one another, and then spread the word back to the men about their sexual activities, and lack thereof.
Season 7, Episode 5: Sleeper
19 October 1994Becky thinks David's crushing on her when he admits to a sexual dream involving a Connor woman other than Darlene. But David soon reveals that is in fact, Roseanne, that he dreamed of.
26 October 1994Roseanne's attempts to prank everybody at Leon's Halloween party at the diner fall flat when it's revealed to her that Fred is gay.
2 November 1994D.J. wants out of his busboy job at the Lunch Box, and David wants to put the kibosh on Darlene's moving in with her new squeeze Jimmy--who misinterprets David's obsessive interest in him.
9 November 1994Roseanne and Jackie go to Chicago for Parent's Day, to surprise Darlene, and in hopes of meeting her new boyfriend, Jimmy. David wants to learn how to be tough, in order to compete with Darlene's boyfriend, who is a boxer, for her affections. Roseanne assigns Dan to help David feel good about just being himself. D.J. is getting picked on at school by a bully, but refuses to learn to fight back for fear that getting hit will hurt. Fred is impressed with Dan's parenting, until he figures out that Dan is only doing what Roseanne tells him to.
16 November 1994Dan and Roseanne find out that D.J. wants to skip participating in his school play because he has to kiss a black girl, and is uncomfortable about it. Roseanne wants to force him, and Dan is worried that D.J. might have gotten prejudiced ideas by something he has unwittingly said or done. Jackie is perplexed by the fact that Fred seems to enjoy spending time with her mother.
23 November 1994
Season 7, Episode 11: Maybe Baby
30 November 1994
14 December 1994Roseanne and Dan are called down to the school to see D.J.'s teacher because he refuses to write his homework on the board, and his teacher is concerned that D.J. may have a learning disability. Dan discovers that it is not because he can't do the work, but because he is at that age where boys sometimes get an involuntary erection, and D.J. is embarrassed to stand up. The family meets David's new girlfriend, Dinah. Darlene discovers that David is actually developing feelings for Becky.
4 January 1995Dan and Roseanne are shocked, and amused, when they find out their new next door neighbors are a couple of geriatric nudists. Meanwhile, Darlene suspects David of cheating on her with Becky.
11 January 1995After being arrested for D.U.I., Beverly is forced to attend Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) meetings, where she discovers that she might really be an alcoholic. This new realization does not bode well for the family, since Roseanne is forbidding anyone to drink while Beverly is in the house, which quickly puts an end to Dan's super-bowl party. Dan, Jackie, and Fred sneak out to the garage to drink and watch the game on an old portable TV, until Beverly catches them, and pitches a fit, prompting Roseanne to pitch a fit, or two, of her own.
1 February 1995
Season 7, Episode 16: Sisters
8 February 1995Fred tells Jackie that he doesn't want D.J. to visit their house so much anymore, because he gets weirder every time he comes over. In order to protect Fred, Jackie tells Roseanne that she is the one who has a problem with D.J. constantly being at her house, which infuriates Roseanne. Dan tricks Darlene into coming home for the weekend and tries to make the girls stop bickering for their Mother's sake. D.J. expresses a strange, new fascination with eating cardboard.
Season 7, Episode 17: Lost Youth
15 February 1995
22 February 1995In Roseanne's absence, Dan gets unexpected advice from David after discovering a scandalous secret concerning Jackie.
1 March 1995
22 March 1995
29 March 1995Mark and Becky find a tiny run-down trailer in a trailer park, and decide to make it home. Determined to fix up their home all on their own, they turn down offers of assistance from Dan and Roseanne, who in turn have to find covert way to help the kids out. Roseanne discovers that they will need to come up with $2,000 to prepay for the baby's doctor and hospital stay.
3 May 1995
10 May 1995Roseanne is upset over the possibility that David may like a girl more than Darlene, who may lose David if she doesn't fight for him.
17 May 1995The Conners are selected to be a "Neilsen Family". Roseanne, who is going through a nesting period in her pregnancy, insists that the family watch nothing but educational-type programing to prove to the Neilsen people that they are not white trash. After Dan breaks the couch, Roseanne accepts a hand-me-down couch from her Mother, but soon regrets it. Jackie and Fred make a life-altering decision.
24 May 1995David announces to the Conners that he wants to spend a month in Europe after graduation, but Darlene selfishly pressures him out of it. Dan starts working on building his boat again, but Roseanne insists that they can't afford it, and makes fun of his dream, launching into a fantasy where she and her family play the castaways on
"Gilligan's Island" (1964). Cast members from
"Gilligan's Island" (1964) cameo as members of the Conner family.
19 September 1995D.J.'s old bedroom is being converted into a nursery for the new baby. After discovering that a new baby crib is out of her price range, Roseanne schemes up a baby shower in hopes of getting at least forty $10.00 gifts, that she can exchange for the $400.00 crib. This plan threatens to backfire when the gifts are mostly homemade, or are otherwise nonexchangeable. After being unable to work together to paint the nursery without squabbling, Roseanne reassigns Becky and Darlene to throw the baby shower instead, but the girls are still at each other's throats because Darlene refuses to pull her weight, sticking Becky with all the work. Roseanne gets David to throw a "guy" baby shower for Dan with the men at his shop, hoping for even more exchangeable gifts, but that backfires as well.
26 September 1995Roseanne sparks a fight with Jackie when she feeds Andy junk food against Jackie's orders. Dan spends some "quality" time with DJ to show his son that he does more than watch television and drink beer all day.
17 October 1995A new diner is opening up across the street from Roseanne and Jackie's diner, and they are worried that it will spell the end for "The Lunch Box". To promote the new restaurant's grand opening, the owners hire
Pat Harrington Jr., who played Dwayne Schneider from the 70's sitcom
"One Day at a Time" (1975). When Roseanne discovers that they have a salad bar, and are serving loose meat sandwiches, she declares war. When adding a waffle bar, staying open late, and dressing up the menu doesn't seem to work, Roseanne decides to sabotage the new diner with raw fish, only to wind up stuck in an exhaust vent over a stove. The cast of Stomp does a dance at the diner.
24 October 1995Roseanne and Dan decide to go out on the town one final time before the baby is born. After finding out that their diner table at the nice hotel they're staying at will be unavailable for quite some time, they crash a Bar Mitzvah taking place in the private dining room. Becky and Darlene discover a bottle of peppermint schnapps at the restaurant after closing and get wasted.
31 October 1995The Conner clan celebrate Halloween with typical Conner flare. Dan and David entertain trick-or-treaters with help from Beverly. Roseanne and Jackie play with the Ouija board, which informs Roseanne that she is going to have her baby N.O.W., seconds before she goes into labor. At the hospital, Roseanne visits her "happy place": memories of Halloween's past. And with a little help from Demerol, she goes on a psychedelic journey which includes the spirit of the recently parted Jerry Garcia, who visits Roseanne with a message of magic, bliss, and spiritual connection to one another. Roseanne gives birth to a baby boy, naming him Jerry Garcia Conner, in honor of the late-great iconic hero.
