13 September 1987
In the first episode of this hilarious new political comedy ...
20 September 1987
Alan's wife, Sarah, inherits a million pounds....
27 September 1987
Alan realises that joining a moral crusade....
4 October 1987
Tory MP Alan B'Stard's dirty dealings have finally caught up with him ...
11 October 1987
Alan organises a parliamentary fact-finding expedition....
18 October 1987
Alan is booked to appear on TVAM to discuss an important by-election result....
25 October 1987
Alan's hateful father-in-law, Roland Gidleigh-Park, threatens to have Alan thrown out ...
6 March 1988
In a special edition recorded for the Comic Relief charity telethon B'stard bullies prime minister Margaret Thatcher's secretary into granting him an audience with the Iron Lady. When he meets her he confirms her view that the BBC television stations are run by hard Left extremists intent on ruining the country and persuades her to have the BBC closed down. He then makes a call to Michael Grade, head of the rival Channel 4 TV station, who has promised him his own show if he can get rid of the opposition to tell him his mission is accomplished.
15 January 1989
During a television debate Alan B'Stard MP, Member for Haltemprice, falls foul of fellow panelist Georgina Pitt, militant leader of Hackney Council....
22 January 1989
Parliament has gone prime time with the introduction of television cameras into the Commons....
29 January 1989
Always eager to help improve the minds of the young ...
5 February 1989
Thrusting his way through the lobby of anti-Nazi protesters....
12 February 1989
When parliament's man of the moment, Alan B'Stard, flies to California....
19 February 1989
When Piers announces he is getting married to someone ...
26 February 1989
It must be a blue moon because Alan B'Stard is holding....
14 January 1990
B'stard recovers in hospital in time to cast the deciding commons vote to bring back capital punishment and even gains the contract to have the new gallows built. Sarah rightly guesses that the supposed assassination attempt was a fraud and that B'stard had bet that hanging would be restored, gaining a sizeable cash sum. When B'stard promotes a new charity Sarah teams up with TV chat show host Kerry Grout to expose him at the same time that Piers discovers how the fake assassination was carried out but unfortunately kills Kerry whilst demonstrating it. B'stard is charged with the murder and is hung on the gallows but, since the contractor he hired used balsa wood and not mahogany, it collapses. This is seen as an act of God and he receives a free pardon as a result.
6 January 1991
Alan B'Stard's reputation as the most right-wing Tory MP in the House is under threat: Working class fatso Victor Crosby has just won the Accrington by-election for the Conservatives and, through his publicly declared extreme political views, is on the brink of stealing B'Stard's thunder.
13 January 1991
Major is securely belted in the driving seat of the Tory machine but despite the new leadership, Conservative fortunes are flagging - a severe economic crisis looms; the opinion polls predict the Party's imminent downfall.
20 January 1991
Following the riotous TV appearance in 'Balance', a serious discussion slot chaired by MENSA member Joan Bakewell, Alan B'Stard is branded an animal hater across the front pages of the tabloid press.
27 January 1991
In the House of Commons conniving Tory Alan B'Stard faces a barrage of hostility from an Opposition outraged by his proposal for an amendment to the Social Security Bill.
3 February 1991
During the annual cocktail party at his country residence B'Stard's scathing contempt for his Haltemprice constituents seriously backfires.
10 February 1991
The purpose of Alan's USSR tour is to spread the gospel of Capitalism according to B'Stard, as well to acquire several thousand rubles by selling off video cassettes of his free-market sermons.
22 November 1992
Alan is back and he is on the warpath.
Season 4, Episode 2: H*A*S*H29 November 1992
While Piers Fletcher-Dervish is dealing with the ins and outs of political life, Alan B'Stard is somewhat put out to find himself indebted to his wife Sarah.
6 December 1992
Brussels is a zoo, and it's getting on top of the new Commissioner for Internal Relations.
13 December 1992
The Molotov cocktails may be raining down on refugee hostels in Germany, but Alan B'Stard is more concerned with potentially explosive plan which he has up his sleeve.
20 December 1992
Alan B'Stard doesn't balk at the Balkans.
26 December 1992
All hell breaks loose when B'Stard decides to interfere with the mountains of untaxed cash lying hidden in the Channel Islands.
30 December 1994
Newly returned to parliament after other contenders for his seat met an accident B'stard is interviewed on television by Brian Walden, who is shocked at his reactionary proposals such as abolishing the welfare state and taxing the poor. In the interval two make-up girls claim B'stard has fathered their children but in the second part of the show, despite Walden's suggestions that he burned down Windsor castle and forced Thatcher's resignation, B'stard delivers a rousing speech proposing a wall to fence England off from Wales and Scotland. The switchboard is jammed with messages of support though it transpires that the whole thing is a scam to revive Walden's show's flagging ratings.
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