Memorable quotes for
"Garfield and Friends" (1988) More at IMDbPro »

Jon: They used to call me "No-Hit Arbuckle".
Garfield: But only when he was at bat.

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Jon: What are you doing Garfield?
Garfield: Guess.
Jon: Are you dancing?
Garfield: Nope.
Jon: Are you upset?
Garfield: Nope.
Jon: Are you hungry?
Garfield: Not for another two minutes.
Jon: Are you trying to warn me about something?
Garfield: Guess again.
Jon: Argh. You're driving me crazy.
Garfield: Aaw, he guessed.

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Man: What does Odie do when the car when he catches them?
Garfield: He buries them in the backyard.
[Audience begins to laugh]
Garfield: I'm not kidding. Odie catches cars and he buries them in the back yard.
Woman: Yeah right.
Garfield: I can't believe I'm hearing this?
[Audience laughs louder]
Man: And we can't believe your face.
Garfield: Look! I did not come here to be insulted.
Man: Then what did you come here for?
[Garfield walks in the backyard]
Garfield: Hi Odie. Can you believe I got heckled by the audience? They didn't believe me when I told them that you catch cars and burry them in the back yard.

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Garfield: The creature that lives in the refrigerator, behind the mayonnaise, next to the ketchup, and to the left of the cole slaw!

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Garfield: Microwave lasagna. Possibly nature's most perfect food.

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Garfield: Arbuckle! Remember the a la mode!

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[Jon's phone rings several times. His answering machine picks up the call. The following recording plays on the answering machine, over Jon's *horrible* singing in the shower]
[phone beeps]
Jon: [clears throat] Hello, this is Jon Arbuckle - Garfield, stop doing that! Uhh... um, I can't come to the...
[Odie whimpers]
Jon: No, take Odie out of there! Umm, can't... come to the phone right now. Leave your message.
[shouts]
Jon: Garfi...
[answering machine beeps]

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Garfield: ...It's another one of
[shouts]
Garfield: Garfield's Tales of Scary Stuff!

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Garfield: Abu Dhabi, it's far away / Abu Dhabi, that's where you'll stay / Abu Dhabi, the place to be / For any kitten who's annoying me, yeah! / Abu Dhabi, it's off the track / Abu Dhabi, now don't come back / Abu Dhabi, it's quite a thrill / For any kitten who can make me ill! / Now some take a train / And some take a plane / But I am sending you / Not on a boat / Or even by goat / But in a box marked "Postage Due." / Abu Dhabi, you're what they lack / Abu Dhabi, now you're all packed / Abu Dhabi, a far commute / For any kitten who is too darn cute!

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Orson: [singing] Does your nose look like a banana?/Are your toes shaped like Indiana?/Do your ears seem bigger than Montana?/Dry your tears, we understand you/
[talking]
Orson: Hey everyone has something strange about them, that's what makes us special/Wouldn't it be great if you could look in the mirror and say/
[singing]
Orson: Yo banana nose! Now you know how my sailboat goes/Here's Montana ears, I have ears so my sister can steer/Hey hey hey Indiana toes, getting me across those winter snows/Whatever the name, I'm still the same nice person.

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[as Jon is in television show]
TV Host: ...And here's our man... Jon Arbingle!
Jon: It's Jon Arbuckle! Jon Arbuckle!

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Mr. Sprocket: Kids don't want to see a cartoon about a cat.
Garfield: They're culturally deprived.

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Jon: Someone's slinging mud!
Garfield: And it's nowhere near Election Day.

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Garfield: [Odie takes him to a head of cabbage, after telling him it was a watch] Odie, that is not a watch, it's a head of cabbage, there is a difference. You do not tell time with a watch, you make cole slaw out of it.
[Odie groans]
Garfield: Odie, you have a head of cabbage!

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Garfield: [last intro] After seven seasons, we pretty much said everything you can say on this spot.

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Garfield: [on show intro] Wouldn't I make a great ventriloquist? My lips never move.

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Garfield: [on show intro] Eat and be lazy, kids, and someday you'll have your own show too.

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Garfield: From time to time on this show, we'd like to bring you something a little educational.
[a hand pops up holding a TV remote control]
Garfield: [shocked] No, no! Don't change channels! It's not *that* educational.

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[Jon is about to go on a date and he is dressed for the occasion. Heading to the door, he passes by Garfield]
Jon: I have a big date with Liz tonight, Garfield. What do you think of my outfit?
[to Jon's surprise, Garfield snickers and then burst out laughing wildly]
Jon: [irritated] I don't have to take this.
[He heads out the door]
Jon: No cat is gonna make a fool out of me.
[He slams the door]
Garfield: [holding up a watch, still snickering] One... two... three...
[Jon, still irritated, comes back in, wearing his outfit, but no pants. Garfield snickers at him]

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Garfield: [on show intro] Hey, Heathcliff! Eat your heart out!

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Binky the Clown: Is Edna Fogarty here? I'm here to wish Edna Fogarty a happy 97th birthday!
Garfield: If he does, Edna won't make 98.

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Jon: [to Garfield] You've gotta get in shape!
Garfield: I *am* in shape! Round is a shape!

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Garfield: [crash, Odie whines] Either Jon's home or someone's put a VCR down the garbage disposer.

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Garfield: Sell your remote control. I'm the best thing on.

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Garfield: This show is K-rated. No adults unless accompanied by a kid.

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Garfield: Think of a number between 1 and 10. The number you think of is 7.

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