Valet Girls (1986) User Reviews

"I pay you to park guests, not pork them"

[Groverdox · 3/10 · 12 January 2019]

A tough punk girl from Brooklyn and an English rose both work as valets. They are subject to unwanted sexual attention from some of the men they encouter on the job, and the punk girl ends up getting fired.

Although invited by one of the harassers, the girls attend a Hollywood party where there are topless girls swimming in the pool, and a male valet is having sex in the bathroom.

The male valets lose their jobs to make room for our two heroines, so they plot revenge.

Tony Cox, the little person actor from "Bad Santa", also appears. I didn't realise he had been acting for so long.

The party scene in this movie seems to go on longer than the one in "The Exterminating Angel". It seems to be just the same thing over and over again: middle aged Hollywood types using drugs and scoring with women half their age.

Mixed in there is some Southern lady who is unhappy that the producers try to take advantage of her.

The movie really has no clear narrative threads. You may remember the three guys who wanted to get the girls fired, but the movie forgets them from scene to scene, as did I. They resurface but the direction doesn't pick them out of the crowd. The party, which takes up most of the movie, is a jumble of different people, none of them very interesting.

Something a lot of these '80s boob comedies have is a godawful musical interlude where a third-rate band will play some horrible manufactured song. "Valet Girls" does this more than once.

And then, it's over, and I will forget about it almost immediately.

The Big Blow

[dunks58 · 3 July 2010]

I've seen some "bad-uns" over the last 50-odd years, but right from the credits, this rates as one of very worst movies I've ever seen. While it retains a VERY minor curiosity value due to the ultra-campy high-80s costumes and hair styles and the glimpses of '80s Hollywood, this is in every other respect irredeemable trash. I've seen porno films with better acting -- the inflatable alligator in the pool is by far the strongest performer -- and the same goes for the "script" (peee-euw!), cinematography and sound. I just saw this on TV as the late-night follow-up to 'Moonraker' -- one of the lamest of all Bond films -- but trust me, that comes off looking like 'Gone With The Wind' compared to 'Valet Girls'. Undoubtedly a film that all concerned wish they could erase from history and an experience to be avoided at all costs unless you grew up through the 80s, have a stash of industrial-strength drugs and for some reason want a cringe-laden laugh to remind you how bad that decade was at its worst.

the 80's at their worst

[movieman_kev · 2/10 · 31 August 2010]

Record producer, Dirk Zebra, hires Lucy, a Brooklyn-native transplanted to LA, and her college- going friend, Rosalind, to work as valet girls (hence the movie title). They both have dreams of making it big in Hollywood and see their current job as a stepping stone. They, along with new addition, Southern bell, Carnation, have to contend with a grabby movie producer, lecherous demeaning boss, and three valets whom they've replaced, as well as other obstacles to realizing their dreams in this idiotic 80's film.

The plot is thread-bare, the jokes mostly non-existent, and the entertainment value pretty meager at best. The occasional (fleeting) topless extra and seeing Tony Cox slumming it before he hit it big with "Bad Santa" MAY be enough to keep you from falling asleep during the sheer tepidity of this film, but that's a big maybe.

My Grade: D-

Awful

[roddypiper · 1/10 · 24 November 2005]

A truly awful movie, it's no wonder the two lead idiots never acted again. If you want an example of everything bad about 80's movies then this is the show for you.

The "story" concerns a rich Hugh Hefner type guy who hosts fabulous parties full of big players in the movie and music industries. A team of female valets get a job working these parties. That's really about it as far as plot goes. There's just about every stupid character you can think of- the sleazy Hollywood star, coke-sniffing music producer, dumb bodybuilders (who have about 2 lines of dialogue between them), a "comedy" midget driver who all the girls adore, etc, etc.....

In the end the Heff type guy gets his, the Hollywood sleaze get's photographed without his dentures and wig and one of the girls get's a record deal.

Do yourself a favour and skip this one if you're ever tempted to watch it.

1/10

God Awful.

[Educated_Bum · 1/10 · 11 March 2010]

The acting is atrocious; the plot is silly and trite, same for the dialogue. I watched it expecting to see some good actors before they became famous, ala Diner (1982) or Clueless, or Ferris Bueller's Day Off, or even Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! This movie was nowhere close. If you want silly party antics try Peter Sellers in The Party (1968).

As for the 'plot', three girls work for a sleazy manager of a Valet Company who makes them dress in sexy outfits in order to get more business and bigger tips. They get invited to a big-shot's party. The big shot fires his all male valets (what a surprise) and hires them for his next party. The male valets seek revenge by crashing the next party.

While some might see this as a feminist movie because the girls don't fall for all the "couch auditions" going on around them – all the other dumb starlets who do undermines the feminist redeeming value.

I found the 80's look overdone and ridiculous. In short, the movie fails on all counts.

A great 80's flick

[kittensox · 6/10 · 8 December 2008]

If you want 80's new wave cheese this is a great reference movie. I was entertained by the terrible dialog and the glitz of 80's clothing and hair. The party scenes are fun to watch if you have ever done extra work in L.A. Lots of crazy characters and topless girls. The actors did a great job considering the script. The story starts out with the main character selling her own tapes on the side of the road. The story ends up being quite feminist and a nice drift, if ever so slight, from 80's party/camp/frat type movies. Contained mostly to a rich guy's party house with no room for character development the quick punkiness and DIY spirit of the main character is irresistible even though "her music" is not. A movie made fun and watchable with friends, beer, and the FF button in working order.

I totally liked it!

[indepfilms · 8/10 · 30 September 2010]

This was another film that was recommended to me by netflix. It was great! Sex jokes, cheesy outfits, and it has heart. It's just a great example of the college comedy. It won't ever win an Oscar, but, it's still fun. You will laugh, you will appreciate the gratuitous shots of the ladies, etc. The acting is appropriately cheesy, as is the script. But, on top of that it has a little bit of heart to it. You actually start to care for these scantily clad ladies and their storyline. So, do yourself a favor and if you like this genre, then see this film. It doesn't try to be anything more than it is supposed to be and anyone who expected more is lame. (One of the other reviewers, like Movie Man Kev, need to stop applying their "knowledgable critiques" of film to eye candy and instead apply it to art. It's easy to say that eye candy isn't art. It's not supposed to be. That's why it's eye candy. This is some fun eye candy worth watching.

An Acquired Taste!

[Corlissa0994 · 9/10 · 29 January 2015]

Raunchy, cheesy and definitely offensive on many levels. This by far is an acquired taste for those who know and love the D squad of 80s movies! I am not ashamed to say this is one of my favorite movies of all time. Can I give you good reason? NOPE. But it fulfills the whole package of grungy 80s charm. You have the traditional 80s girls vs. boys rivalry, the aspiring singer,the above the waist nudity and sex, and of course the climactic scheme that ends the movie and puts the "bad" guys in their place. Ironically can be portrayed in a cloudy way,as the empowerment of women. Simplistically you have three young women aspiring to achieve their dreams, yet have to endure this by climbing their way through an over the top version of a perverted male owned Hollywood. Yet through crafty Shenanigans and actually using their talents of music, acting and intellect, they rise to the top without really going to far to degrade themselves. If you are able to not take everything too seriously or with massive criticism, check it out and have fun with it.

A Feminist critic of Hollywood.

[Nailbomb · 28 February 1999]

I watched this film with some amazement. I expected the usual mid 80's comedy but what I found was something much more in depth. The three female leads are heads of their own business, they obtain a silent gender revenge on their male rivals and all by being female. Sure, the movie has its faults, a scene involving a corpse is never fully explained and some of the dialogue could by called naive, but the overall message riding through this film is that women can take control. They can also still be women in the process and they do not have to fall to the level of men. Women can take control by standing up and doing what they want. This is beautifully shown in a scene where one of the Valet girls rejects the offer of Pop fame from a lascivious record agent only to be signed by another for just playing her song. All women have to do is 'Play their song' and they can obtain their goals with ease.

Weak party comedy

[lor_ · 20 April 2023]

My review was written in April 1987 after watching the film on Vestron video cassette.

"Valet Girls" is a meek edition in the party-styled comedies that have emerged endlessly since "Animal House" was a hit nearly a decade ago. Rafal Zielinski-helmed film most closely resembles Crown International Pictures product, such as "My Chauffeur", and was accorded a test release by Empire Pictures in January, followed by current home video availability.

Meri D. Marshall and April Stewart topline as young women in Hollywood working as car parking attendants. Problems ensue when they're assigned to work at the mansion of Dirk Zebra (Christopher Weeks) who holds an endless series of parties for movie and record biz folk. Joined by a third girl named Carnation (Mary Kohnert), fresh off the farm, their hiring displaces a trio of guys who attempt to create practical jokes disrupting the parties and trying to get the girls fired.

Gags here are old hat and the whole format, while recalling Blake E#dwards' adventurous Peter Sellers film "The Party" is cornball as well. Meri D. Marshall performs several rock songs well, while costar April Stewart is pretty, sports an alluring British accent, but is given nothing interesting to do. Vet character actor Richard Erdman pops up as a drunken waiter.

Tech credits are adequate.