Memorable quotes for
Stakeout (1987) More at IMDbPro »

[Reading the police profile on Maria McGuire]
Bill Reimers: And, the moment we've all been waiting for... 313 pounds.
Chris Lecce: 313 pounds? Let me see that.
Bill Reimers: I would imagine that's fully clothed.
Chris Lecce: Oh my God, she could be the house! I hate this job!

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[after watching the svelte Maria McGuire undress]
Bill Reimers: To protect and to serve.
Chris Lecce: Ooo, I love my job, I love it so much!
Bill Reimers: But I would appreciate it if you would not act like a walking hard-on while we're on the job.
Chris Lecce: Succinctly put.

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Richard "Stick" Montgomery: Isn't love great, Chris? One minute you're a god, the next minute you're a scum-suckin' pig.

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[after Marie hit him]
Richard "Stick" Montgomery: Don't you *ever* hit me.

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[on the phone with Bill while at Maria's place]
Chris Lecce: I'll be about half an hour.
Bill Reimers: Where are my donuts you prick?
Chris Lecce: Maybe more.

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Richard "Stick" Montgomery: [to Maria] You broke my heart.

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[after robbing gas station]
Richard "Stick" Montgomery: How much we got?
Caylor Reese: $273
Richard "Stick" Montgomery: That's good. As long as we have gas money, that's all we need.
Caylor Reese: Yeah. But its hardly worth rubbing people out for.
Richard "Stick" Montgomery: [defensive] What?
Caylor Reese: [doesn't want to try to explain] Nothing.

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Richard "Stick" Montgomery: Hey. What'd I tell you about touching my books.
Billy Steeks: [raising his voice] I didn't touch your dirty fag rags!
Richard "Stick" Montgomery: Oh yeah! Well then who the hell else did, since its just you and me in here.
Billy Steeks: Piss off!
Richard "Stick" Montgomery: Don't f*cking tell me to piss off.
Billy Steeks: I just did asshole.
[the two start fighting]

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[in checkout]
Cashier: [looks at one of Chris's items and sort of scolds] Eating between meals.
Chris Lecce: [mimicking] Eating between meals.

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B.C: [arriving at docks] Come on! Let's go.
B.C: [sees Chris] Jesus Christ! That guy's a cop.
Richard "Stick" Montgomery: [sarcastic] I know he's a cop! His hands are cuffed!
B.C: Not him! The other one.

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Bill Reimers: [seeing Phil and Jack leave, laughing about something] Yeah, I smell a rat, they are up to something. I don't know what it is, but they are up to something. I'm going to find out what it is
[he raises binoculars to his eyes, lowers them, then turns to Chris]
Bill Reimers: Do you know what it is?
Chris Lecce: [casually, with a straight face] Yeah, I think I have a pretty good idea
Chris Lecce: What, what, tell me?
Bill Reimers: [Turns at Chris' gesture, and sees that ink coating the rims of the binoculars is now around each eye, making him look like a racoon] Son of a bitch! Christ, I'm gonna *kill* 'em!

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Chris Lecce: [whilst searching Maria's house, Chris holds up a newspaper clipping about Montgomery] Now is no time to be pausing for the news, Chris
Bill Reimers: Now is no time to be pausing for the news, Chris
Chris Lecce: [Chris continues his search]
Chris Lecce: Ah - we have a letter. 'Dear Maria, I hear you are doing okay. I hear you are seeing a couple of guys. Sometimes I get so mad I could wipe out the entire world, and enjoy myself doing it'. Now how could she have dumped a charmer like him?

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Bill Reimers: [looking in the refrigerator] I don't believe this. They ate all the food and left dog turds in the fridge.
Chris Lecce: Don't worry. I'll go to the supermarket. What do you want?
Bill Reimers: Truth and justice.
Chris Lecce: Anything else?
Bill Reimers: Doughnuts.
Chris Lecce: Why not? We *are* cops.

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Bill Reimers: [during an argument about who killed Kennedy, Bill checks the fridge] Those bastards. They ate everything and left us a dog turd.
Chris Lecce: Ralph Warren left us a dog turd?
Bill Reimers: No, Phil and Jack. I am gonna get those guys. I don't know how, but I will.
Chris Lecce: Give me the keys. I'll go to the supermarket. What do you want?
Bill Reimers: Truth and justice.
Chris Lecce: Anything else?
Bill Reimers: Doughnuts.
Chris Lecce: Why not? We're cops.

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Chris Lecce: [Chris and Bill are whiling away the time playing trivia questions] Okay, I got one, name the 16th President
Bill Reimers: I don't know
Chris Lecce: Here's a hint...
Bill Reimers: Abraham Lincoln.
Bill Reimers: [His questions are identifying quotes] Okay, "This was no boating accident!"
Chris Lecce: No idea
Bill Reimers: Man, you suck at this

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Chris Lecce: Problem?

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