The Secret of My Success (1987)

John Pankow: Fred Melrose

Photos 

Quotes 

• Vera Prescott : Why haven't I met you before?

  Fred Melrose : Maybe you ain't been hangin' out in the mailroom.

  Vera Prescott : Oooh, the "male room." I like that sound!

• Brantley Foster : [reading mail while sorting]  Some of this stuff doesn't make any sense. They send requisitions through two departments to get procurements for a third. What kind of thinking is that?

  Fred Melrose : That's suit thinking. Something happens to a man when he puts on a necktie. Cuts off all the oxygen to his brain.

• Fred Melrose : Hey, you look like death on a cracker, man. What happened to you?

  Brantley Foster : Well, I was chased by a 200 pound dog with a mouth as big as my head. And that was the best thing that happened last night.

  Fred Melrose : What was the worst thing?

  Brantley Foster : Got laid.

  Fred Melrose : Not sure you got your priorities straight, Brantley.

• Fred Melrose : Something happens to a man when he puts on a necktie. It cuts off all the circulation to his brain.

• [Brantley said "good morning" to an executive] 

  Fred Melrose : Not the suits, man! You never consort with the suits unless they consort with you first.

  Brantley Foster : Wait a minute, that's ridiculous! He's a person, I'm a person. I can't say hello to him?

  Fred Melrose : He's not a person, he's a suit! You're mailroom. No consorting.

• Brantley Foster : Whoa, whoa, listen, I'm going to need your help, both of you.

  Fred Melrose : Is it something I could get fired for?

  Brantley Foster : Absolutely.

  Fred Melrose : I like it!

• [Brantley is carrying a briefcase into the mailroom] 

  Fred Melrose : What's in there?

  Brantley Foster : My lunch.

  Fred Melrose : Your lunch? In a briefcase?

  Brantley Foster : Yeah. I ran out of brown bags.