Lamar: [showing ticket to flight attendant] We're V.I.P.s
Stewardess: [directing] Right over there.
Booger: Very Immense Penises.
[Flight Attendant slaps Booger]
Booger: Excuse me, miss. I just want you to know that I don't intend to sleep with another woman until I'm back here in your arms with my head resting between your creamy thighs.
[Woman slaps Booger hard]
Snotty: To truly hock a loogie, one must not retrieve the phlegm from the throat, but from the soul.
Mr. Scolnick: You've really got the pedal to the metal, don't you, son?
Lewis Scolnick: Yeah, I do, Dad. I've got the cruise control locked in at 35.
Mr. Scolnick: Tell you what. Kick it up to 37. Let's live dangerously.
Lewis Scolnick: [shocked] Dad!
[the Tri-Lambs have been arrested]
Harold Wormser: Hey, wait! I'm only 15. I'm just a kid!
Policemen: [showing Wormser his fake ID] That's not what it says here, Senator Wormser!
Booger: [after walking into Snotty's room] This place is a pig sty.
Snotty: Thank you.
Booger: You should be ashamed of yourself!
Snotty: [indifferent] Fuck you. Who die and make you God?
Booger: My name's Dudley Dawson. They call me "Booger".
Snotty: Edgar Po Wong. They call me "Snotty."
Snotty: [upon accepting Booger as his *student*] My son, soon you will take over.
[Poindexter just addressed some "Seminole" in their language.]
Arnold Poindexter: Lewis, I don't think these guys are Indians.
Lewis Scolnick: What makes you say that.
Arnold Poindexter: When I said "Bite my crank" in Seminole, no one responded.
Lewis Scolnick: You said that to *these guys*?
[Ogre is being initiated into the Tri-Lambs]
Gilbert Lowell: Our newest Tri-Lamb may drink.
Lewis Scolnick: Right this way, Frederick.
Ogre: Ogre, Louie.
[Gilbert is warning Lewis not to trusts the Alpha Beta's invitation]
Lewis Scolnick: What do you think, Gilbert? That I'm some kind of weenie who can't take care of himself. I'll tell you something, man, I'm not that kind of weenie.
Arnold Poindexter: So what you're saying essentially is, is that along with infinite space which extends beyond perpetual bigness there's also infinite smallness?
Harold Wormser: [nods head in agreement]
Arnold Poindexter: How?
Harold Wormser: Easy. Take an asymptotic line and extend it outward.
Arnold Poindexter: Oh.
Stewart: Right, right, right. So perpetual bigness exists simultaneously with perpetual smallness. What was I thinking?
Ogre: What if uh C-A-T really spelled dog?
Arnold Poindexter: Wow.
Harold Wormser: God.
Arnold Poindexter: That's heavy Ogre. Dog.
[coconut falls and hits Tiny on the head]
Sunny Carstairs: Are you okay, sir?
Tiny: I'm fine. Is my hair okay?
Harold Wormser: What do you think they are going to do?
Lamar: I don't know. I think they're going to sacrifice a virgin.
Booger: I hope not. A virgin's a terrible thing to waste.
Roger: [admitting that he framed the Tri-Lambs] OK. Maybe I did. What are you gonna do about it, Skolnick? You gonna make a little speech? It's not gonna do any good. Wanna know why? Because I'm strong and you're weak. Because I'm the type of guy that everybody here wants to be like, and you are pathetic. That's the way it is. That's the way it's always gonna be, and there's nothing you or your pencil-neck geek friends can do or say about it. Comprende, dickhead?
Lewis Scolnick: You're right, Rog. There's nothing I can say about it.
[his friends are stunned]
Lewis Scolnick: But there's something I've got to do about it!
[he punches Roger in the face, sending him into the pool]
Buzz: You went to college to drink beer, play football, and get laid. None of this academic shit.