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Real Men (1987) Poster

(1987)

Quotes

Nick: You've got a sense of humor Bob... I like that in a man.

Bob: What do you like in a woman?

Nick: Big tits.

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Nick: We're as safe here as we are anywhere.

Bob: How safe is that?

Nick: Oh, not very.

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Bob: They're gonna shoot at us, aren't they?

Nick: Probably, Bob. It's what they brought the guns for.

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Bob: What are they trying to do?

Nick: They're trying to kill me. They know I can't afford a loss like that.

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Bob: I didn't know you smoked.

Nick: Just after sex, Bob. I'm trying to give it up.

Bob: Well, at least you don't smoke that much.

Nick: About a pack a day.

Bob: That'll kill ya!

Nick: Bob, it won't kill ya. But it will make you very sore.

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Bob: Who Are Those Clowns?

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Nick: [pouring gasoline on the car] It's gonna get hot in the car, Bob.

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Bob: They're destroying my ducks!

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Nick: Will you look at the tits on this guy?

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Bob: You're kidding! What idiots think up something like that?

Nick: I dunno Bob, I think there's a special department of idiots in the White House who do that.

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Nick: [after shooting a breaking-in Russian spy while hiding under the blanket and on top of a girl in the bed] You've done your country a great service!

Woman in Bed: [smiling] Would you like me to do it again?

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Nick: [Nick meets Bob for the first time, after having surprised him while hiding in Bob's garage] That was good. That thing with the cabinets? It was terrific... Nick Pirandello, CIA. And you're Bob Wilson, right? You know, while I was looking around for something to work with - I hope you don't mind me using some of your stuff - anyway, I came across the letters you wrote to your wife before you were married. You're beautiful, Bob. Some of the sentiments blew me away. One question, though: what was that thing that she did in Santa Barbara... that you keep pleading with her to do again? Bet it felt pretty good, huh, Bob?

Bob: [Annoyed] What do you want?

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Nick: Is my presence here upsetting you, Bob?

Bob: Hell no!

Nick: You sure?

Bob: [Sarcastically] You kidding? Welcome. Nice to see you.

Nick: Yeah? Maybe if I let you hold the gun...

Nick: [Nick holds up his revolver] ... you'd feel more comfortable.

Bob: [Reluctant] Oh, I don't know. Maybe.

Nick: Well, why don't you try?

Bob: Really?

Nick: Yeah.

Bob: Thank you.

Nick: There you go. You're welcome.

Nick: [Nick gives Bob the revolver, then turns and walks away. Bob wildly attempts to shoot Nick in the back with the revolver, only to discover that it isn't loaded] You don't have to test it, Bob. The gun is empty.

Bob: Really?

Nick: [Pulls out a large semiautomatic pistol] THIS one's loaded. You want to be careful with this one, Bob.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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