The Principal (1987)
Jake Phillips: ["Screwdriver" Phillips barges into the office of a napping "Rikki-Tikki-Tavi" Latimer] ... You're ever-vigilant, I see.
Rick Latimer: Where I come from, we knock.
Jake Phillips: Where *I* come from, we pick locks. With your permission, I'll replace your old rusty one with a new deadbolt. The kind only .357 Magnums can open up.
Rick Latimer: Thanks, Jake; that's real encouraging. I feel much better now.
Jake Phillips: Do you mind if I ask you a question I ask all imported principals?
[without waiting for an answer]
Jake Phillips: ... What is a fine, white-bread boy like you doing in a place like this?
Rick Latimer: Keeping my warm ass planted in this chair.
Jake Phillips: [indicates the "Classified Ads" which Latimer has been going through] 'Till something better comes along, right?... I don't know why I thought it should've been any different.
Victor Duncan: If you're trying to reach me, I'll just cut your hand off.
Rick Latimer: I've got another one.
Raymi: Man, do you know where you are? You're at Brandel. Ain't you heard what they said about this place? Garbage NEVER leaves the dump.
Rick Latimer: I'll be here tomorrow.
Jake Phillips: I'll be here too.
Rick Latimer: We are very stupid men.
Jake Phillips: Yeah, I know. But what can you do?
Rick Latimer: [in the teachers' lounge, which is full even though classes are supposed to be in session] ... I want a full-school assembly during sixth period, TODAY.
1st Teacher: Are you MAD? Do you know what could happen?
2nd Teacher: Why are you doing this?
Rick Latimer: ...I like the attention.
Victor Duncan: Why don't you do yourself a favor and go back to your white-bread, suburban, cesspool land while you still have a chance?
Rick Latimer: I can't.
Rick Latimer: [dealing with a couple of troublemakers in his new office, both of whom keep insulting - and trying to injure - each other in front of him] ... Like I said, we got all day...
Robert Darcy: [enters nervously] ... I was hoping to speak to you before this...
Rick Latimer: This wonderful welcoming party? Why don't we start my first day off with some expulsion papers for Mr. Shit and Mr. Fuck here? And call the police.
[to Jake Phillips who has just popped in]
Rick Latimer: Hi. Rick Latimer. I'm the new principal.
Jake Phillips: No kidding.
Robert Darcy: [to Latimer] ... Did you get a look at the neighborhood coming into this place? Brandel High isn't exactly the highest priority for the police around here.
Rick Latimer: These guys are trying to cut each other's nuts off.
Robert Darcy: The cops would only ask why you stopped them. As far as expulsion goes, most of the students here have already been expelled from someplace else.
Rick Latimer: [awaiting Victor Duncan] We'll give him another minute. And then we'll go home.
Jake Phillips: [after only a few seconds] Okay, time's up.
Rick Latimer: Lighten up! Have some courage. Brave it through a little bit. Look, stoneface; knives only hurt if they go through you. Urine only smells if you don't clean it up. Come on!
[Latimer has the upper-hand in a scuffle with Duncan]
Victor Duncan: Please! No more!
Rick Latimer: You got that right!
[Latimer throws Duncan out of the school via a double-door]
Rick Latimer: [shouts] No more!
Rick Latimer: [to a student] ... Linda, I want you wearing a bra to class. It's not going to change your grade.
Rick Latimer: [in his office] ... Okay, what's your name?
White Zac: Just call me White Zac. My real last name's O'Something-Or-Other, too long to say.
Rick Latimer: Sweet. Well, Mr. O'Something-Or-Other, can you tell me what class *this* is for?
[holds up a switchblade taken from Zac]
White Zac: Any class Victor Duncan tries to kill me in.
Kimberly Latimer: ...A minute is all it takes for you to do insurmountable amounts of damage, Rick. I've put up with all the frat-brat, Peter-Pan bullshit I can take.
Rick Latimer: That's your therapist talking, not you.
Kimberly Latimer: At least SOMEBODY was talking; YOU weren't. *I* tried to make things work, Rick. *I* didn't run out and get plastered every time we had a problem. I didn't quit on us; *you* did. You let it go, the way you let EVERYTHING go. Three jobs you blew. Then your father got you in at Willoughby College, and you blew that too.
Rick Latimer: That's not *all* my fault. *You* had to show up in that bar with that guy.
Kimberly Latimer: Rick, grow up.
Rick Latimer: I'm trying. I'm running a high school now; I'm in charge of it. I'm the principal.
Kimberly Latimer: I heard. At *Brandel.* That doesn't count as a school.
Rick Latimer: Now, what is THAT supposed to mean?
[she drives off without answering]