|Index||9 reviews in total|
I once took a job at a crappy, buffet-style restaurant to pay bills and
I quit in less than a month. I hope that's the only reason Linda Blair
decided to do this movie. I'm on a quest to see everything she's been
in, and I love Linda Blair but jeeeeeez. BAD movie!
In a nutshell, a wimpy damsel in distress, daughter of a senator, is kidnapped by clichéd Latino terrorists and hauled off to some banana republic as a hostage. Now her father, a senator who pushes for no negotiations with terrorists, decides he'd rather loose his kid than his job and we are made to believe that the United States government is absolutely NOT going to recuse a senator's daughter. (Come on, that little country would have been turned into a parking lot)
Enter her 5 college friends. They are old enough to be legal to purchase guns, but still young enough to be stupid. Somehow, in a matter of hours, they procure machine guns and a bazooka and set off to shooting in the local dump without alerting the authorities. They then pile all the weaponry into the back of their jeep, cover it with a tarp, miraculously avoid the border patrol and just mosey down into South America looking for their friend.
Naturally they get into trouble. Enter Bishop, the Vietnam vet mercenary who, out of the goodness of his heart, equips the kids with better, bigger guns he happens to have lying buried in his backyard, training and cameo gear. How nice. And thank god he knew how to fly a chopper else they may have had to walk home at the end.
So now, the newly expert commandos, having bypassed the years of training necessary to fight the terrorists, rush in to rescue their friend and end up blowing up everything in sight. It's a good thing these terrorists who probably were given guns for Christmas toys as kids have no aim. In the process, 2 of the guys are killed, but hey, as long as they rescued the idiotic girl, then it's OK. Trade one certain death for 2 accidentals, it's all good. And despite the fact that all the bad guys are dead, they don't go back to retrieve their friends' bodies. I'm sure their families will understand. And how many times did this blond chick have to show her breasts or be raped? I think she wears clothes for all of 3 minutes of her screen time.
Now I WILL say this, Linda Blair did pretty damn good with what she was given. She was no wimpy, clichéd girl usually seen in these testosterone laced flicks. She had the best lines, watching the boys shoot off bazookas in the dump, tricking them into taking her along, and it was kinda cool to see her run, all decked out in cameo, shooting up some bad guy butt. However, for all her character's enthusiasm in rescuing her friend, she only got to shoot in the last sequence. The majority of the movie had her ducking behind cars as the boys shot the bad guys.
So why did I shell out $5 to a used video website and another $5 for shipping? As I said, I'm on a quest to see every movie Linda Blair's ever been in, even this one.
There *IS* one good thing that might make this video worth it to Linda Blair fans....the opening and ending credits has a rather catchy rock and roll song playing, and it is sung by none other than Linda Blair! She sounds a bit like Pat Benatar, not too bad either! She should have looked into a singing career instead of making this movie.
Hats off to Linda, major BOOOS to whoever wrote this swiss cheese of a plot story.
Extremely slight actioner featuring clean-cut, country club kids turning into suburban Rambos when one of their friends (a busty blonde, no less!) is kidnapped by nefarious Third World villains; naturally, these brutal nasties keep their caged hostage half-nude, but it isn't sexy because she's crying all the time. Boring low-budget trash served as veteran actor Cameron Mitchell's sad cinematic swan song. Pity Linda Blair, apparently placed amongst the cast only to get her name on the video-box (she has absolutely nothing to do). Why not make Linda the star of the show and do a distaff variation on "First Blood"? Apparently, nobody involved with this rinky-dink thing was really thinking--not director Lawrence D. Foldes nor his three-count 'em-three screenwriters, Russel W. Colgin, Michael Engel, and Don O'Melveny. Shame on these guys! NO STARS from ****
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Christy Hansen (Udy) is a beautiful equestrian rider who seemingly has
the perfect life: she's about to marry Bob Worthington (King), a member
of the prestigious and wealthy Worthington family. (Don't they even
sound rich?) - the only problem is, she's in love with Bob's
rough-and-tumble brother Steve (Van Patten). She thinks this is the
worst problem in her life, until she's kidnapped and held captive by
the San Felipe Anarchist Army. They're a south of the border terrorist
organization led by the sinister Estoban (Fisher) who doesn't at all
resemble any Cuban dictators we might know, and his army of thugs.
Getting the typical run-around and red tape from the government - which
includes Christy's own father, Senator Adam Hansen (Mitchell) -
Christy's friends decide to become a makeshift mercenary force and go
and rescue her themselves. Despite having no experience in the violent
arts, the aforementioned Steve, plus Henry (McQueen), Eddie (Miller),
Mack (Marcel) and Carla (Blair) attempt the rescue mission
nevertheless. Along their treacherous way, they meet the mysterious but
extremely helpful Vietnam vet Bishop (Lynch). Will this ragtag band of
amateur vigilantes rescue their friend? Dare you find out? A very
impressive B-movie cast filled with fan favorites just kind of wade
around in the mush of this colorless outing. It starts off in a very
disjointed manner, and steadily becomes a more coherent, but more
standard exploding hut/fruit cart chase actioner that doesn't really
offer anything new for die-hard action fans. Sure, the opening bit has
plenty of slow-motion mindless shooting set to the synthesized main
theme and you think "this has promise". but then a certain blandness
and repetition sets in. 80's staples such as the disco scene and
aerobics help matters, but not enough to save the movie in its
entirety. The movie needed more Cam Mitchell, who basically does a
"sit-down" role. Chad McQueen brandishes a rocket launcher, and, after
some initial fears, he does indeed maintain his trademark: no sleeves.
McQueen's arms must always be unencumbered by any form of cloth.
Richard Lynch puts in a likable performance, and he even plays the flute and has a pet monkey. Where else but here will you see the movie credit "Rambo the monkey as Pin"? Pin, or should we say Rambo, wears cameo pants like the rest of the cast. His performance really stands out. Van Patten also appeared in director Foldes' Young Warriors (1983), and seems like a young, confused Treat Williams. Linda Blair plays the "tough chick", playing against the more girly Christy. It could almost be said that her character here could be a continuation of Brenda from Savage Streets (1984). Carla could be like what Brenda would have turned out as later in life. Adding to the positives column is the end-credits song, "I Still Remember", sung by Linda herself.
Despite its mediocrity, items like Night Force actually did their own little part to make the video stores of the 80's great. They added their own brick in the wall of mind-boggling choices the best video stores had. Not every movie ever made is going to be an awesome life-changer. Sometimes corraling some familiar names together and having them engage in some mindless shooting and blow-ups is enough. Clearly the filmmakers knew this, as indicated by its 79 minute running time. It was all good enough for Lightning Video to release it (it was produced by Vestron Pictures) - and as long as you don't expect too much, you might be able to wring some enjoyment out of the rag that is Night Force.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Normally I'd find this sort of low-budget crap amusing but Nightforce
is just too stupid.
The fiancée of a senator is kidnapped for ransom and sexually abused by Mexican terrorists. They actually start raping her in the van after they've just nabbed her and are being pursued at high speed. Turns out that Little Miss Kidnapee was boffing the senator's nimble-minded brother with the bad mullet and they're in love so he presents it to his group of friends (including LINDA BLAIR!) that they drive down to Mexico in a Jeep with a trailer full of guns and a bazooka to get her back, which they do...They just drive right past the border and there they are in terrorist country.
Soon, Richard Lynch shows up out of nowhere dressed like Daktari--complete with pet monkey in tow--to help the kids out. Never really is explained what he's doing there, just that he has a thing for Linda Blair and he knows this guy Estoban has her. Meanwhile, a midget helps the damsel in distress get some skimpy clothes to cover her perpetually nude body and helps her escape.
A really stupid movie that has absolutely nothing going for it. Bloodless and inept action sequences, zero plausibility, and they can't even get Linda Blair's hair right so it looks like she has a huge Helen Hunt-sized forehead. Blecch. And they put Cameron Mitchell in a nothing little role. I guess he wasn't going to eat that week if he didn't take the job.
This not so bad action film is starring Linda Blair but the scenes that I
wanted to see so much never happened, and you know what I mean.Here is the
story thanks to Maltin. Fellow youngsters organizing a commando mission to
Central America to free a kidnapped daughter of a U. S.
Have some great moments, don't buy this one, rent it.
Making a film that's even stupider than Schwarzenegger's "Commando" seems like an unimaginable feat, but here it is. Starts off with some gratuitous nudity, then degenerates into a ludicrous action film. Some of the dumbness was probably intentional, but that doesn't make it excusable. Linda Blair is curiously absent during most of the big action scenes, Cameron Mitchell, in his last film appearance, has a brief cameo, and the main villain is a Fidel Castro lookalike! The film is thankfully short, though (not counting the closing song, it runs about 73 minutes). (*1/2)
If Leonard Pinth-Garnell, the Bad Cinema maven from SNL, ever compiled a list of ten examples of "Truly Bad Cinema," this epic would have to be on it. Now, I usually don't consider films like this one to be worthy of mention on a bad-movie list. Normally, I prefer the grand turkeys like "Conqueror" and "Exorcist II." Still, Linda Blair is Linda Blair, and it was her starring in it that got it made. So I guess we can blame her for this turkey. The fact that these college-age dudes and babes can suddenly shoot like Green Berets is a variation of Roger Ebert's "thirty-second genius" motif. That is where the lead hears the whole plot from somebody in 30 seconds, and immediately knows what to do. In this case, the kids practice shooting for a couple hours, then are ready to do battle with an entire army. My favorite bad moment is when the kidnapped girl is ravaged by one of the enemy soldiers. The Commandante comes along, shoots the soldier, then has HIS way with her. She must have had more Latinos land on her than the Bay of Pigs. My favorite character is the American soldier-of-fortune, played by Richard Lynch. They should have called him Pizza-Face Jones, since a) Lynch's face has more holes in it than the Van Wyck Expressway, not far from where Lynch grew up in Brooklyn and, b) he acts like Harrison Ford on 'Ludes. There's not much more to say, but if you must see it, try to catch it, unedited, on one of the premium movie channels. If you rent it, do so on two-for-one night, along with something that you know is good. A couple beers will help you bear it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I don't really remember why I rented this movie, but it was a HUGE mistake. I WANT MY 73 MINUTES BACK!!!!! Basically this movie is an 80's teen flick totally stereo typing Latinos and adding to the already bad Cuban image. Not only could a child still in the womb predict the outcome of this movie after only watching 10 minutes but the last half of the movie was just one big gun scene. WHERE DID THEY GET THE BAZOKA!?!?!?!?! I mean, I have one just LYING in the backyard too but.... Really, if you want to waste an evening or you really like one of this actors, please, rent it. If you want a good movie or a bad movie that is okay to laugh at, look elsewhere.
A definitive example of 80s action trash: probably the only people who
shell out cash for a ticket were wasted teens looking for some skin and
of explosions. Watch the opening sequence and marvel out how shoddy the
editing is: when one of the baddies fires at an officer, there is actually
what looks like a break in the film (as if to chop a few frames out)
followed by a painfully out-of-sync death scene of the fat officer- ooph!-
getting plugged by a bullet, which apparently stopped in mid-air for five
seconds while the camera crew switched reels.
By today's standards (and 80s standards, probably) the action is sub-par, not gory enough to be interesting but violent enough to be morally inexcusable. Thankfully, every once in awhile Night Force falls into softcore porn territory- this is the only movie I've seen that interrupts a cheap shower scene with flashbacks to a cheap sex scene- but not nearly enough to make the rest of the movie bearable. Night Force exploits pointless violence and gratuitous sex, and poorly. Virtually everyone involved in making this film- actors, actresses, FX technicians, editors- have officially lost any artistic integrity they once had.
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