|Page 1 of 39:||          |
|Index||387 reviews in total|
If there ever were proof of the law of diminishing returns, the fourth
entry in the Jaws series is it. The original was a taut thriller that
launched the career of one of Hollywood's most celebrated directors. By
comparison, Michael Caine often looks as if he is incredibly upset to
be missing his award ceremony in order to appear in this piece. Lance
Guest and Mario Van Peebles frequently appear to be wishing to have
better things to do, while Lorraine Gary frequently looks stoned in
moments when she is supposed to look frightening.
Clearly, the budget spent on this film didn't go into the research, script, or mechanical shark. Exactly why Michael Brody and his pals are putting what are apparently tracking devices on conch shells is never explained. Perhaps any explanation they thought of was so incredibly stupid that they thought it best to give up. An alternate explanation of why Michael is working in the water was never thought of, either. The true Ed Wood moment of the film comes towards the end of the piece, when the shark rises out of the water, and roars at Elaine. This is the first time I've heard of sharks having vocal cords. Given the box office draw this stinker had, I suspect it will be the last.
The shark takes a real beating here, too. The reason the shark wasn't seen often in the original was because Spielberg noticed that if one put it in front of the camera for long enough, the audience would notice that it doesn't move like a real shark. In this edition of the Jaws story, not only do they keep the camera focused upon the shark for more than enough time for the audience to notice the model's flaws, in so doing they make it crystal clear that this shark was made on the cheap. There are some shots in which the support structure of the shark is visible under the outer layer. There is even what appears to be a seam in the back of the shark's main fin.
To its credit, Jaws: The Revenge is well-photographed. While the 2.35:1 frame is often sparsely populated, depth of field is used with great effect in several shots. The fact that even frames with one character in them won't make sense when cropped to fit analogue television is a credit to the director and cinematographer. If only this kind of workmanship could have been seen in other aspects of the film.
Another area where Jaws: The Revenge deserves due credit is the score music. While the score is very much inspired by that which John Williams provided for the original, it distinguishes itself and genuinely works in its own right. In fact, one could almost say that the score music is more than the rest of the film deserves. The music is literally able to inject dramatic tension into scenes that, by all rights granted under the accepted rules of film-making, really shouldn't have any.
When all is said and done, I gave Jaws: The Revenge a one out of ten. It works as a comedy in the sense that it is a stinking pile of crap, but there are precious few moments when the people making it seem privy to the fact. As a result, the film winds up in a class all of its own. It's not just so bad its good, it is so utterly bad it is incredible.
The movie is one of the worst I've ever seen. The attack scenes are worse than what I used to do with Fisher Price Town and a stuffed seal from Marineland. The shark follows them to the Bahamas; apparently for revenge...revenge for being killed in earlier movies! Or is the shark exacting revenge for his friends who were killed? Or maybe (and here's something they could have pursued) it was the WIFE of the previous shark who decided the wife of her husband's killer should suffer. Well she did suffer, by appearing in this movie. For Jaws 5 I suggest the surviving family members of Mrs. Brodie swim back to New York and start biting sharks.
It's personal because I hate this audience-insulting movie. This has got to
be the stupidest horror flick of all times. The ending (all of them) alone
would be enough to justify this film's place on the bottom 100 list. I mean
the premise (shark is after the Brody family for revenge. It chases (and
beats) the Brody's to Jamaica to harrass them and snack on a few
The effects went WAY downhill for this one. The shark on the Universial Studios tram tour is more convincing then this duct-taped-at-the-seams roboshark. The acting is atrocious (especially Mario Van Peeble and his grating "hey mon" accent)
Jaws: The Revenge is the final entry into the Jaws series, and thank
God for that. Ellen Brody is now living in the Bahamas after her
youngest son Sean, who has followed in the footsteps of his father and
become Chief of the Amity police, is killed by another Great White
Shark. In what is the most ridiculous plots of all time, we find out
that one specific shark is holding a grudge against the Brody family,
and after it kills Sean, it swims against the Gulf Stream down to the
Bahamas so it can kill Ellen and Michael as well. Jaws: The Revenge is
an embarrassment to anyone who knows anything about sharks, and is the
worst of the series.
The plot is completely wrong in this movie. The whole plot is built off of bs. I can't even allow suspension of disbelief to let me ignore that the shark is hunting the Brody family. It's ridiculous! Aside from that is that the film contains any number of factual errors about sharks ranging from having the shark swim backwards, roar like a lion, stand on its tail, and devour a helicopter. The shark in the first film did unusual things, but nothing that would make a shark lover cry.
The acting in this movie is so bad that...You know what? I don't even want to discuss it. It's bad. Terrible. Loathsome. Repugnant. What else is there? Lorraine Gray played Ellen just fine in the first film, but for some reason in this film she let all of her acting skill slip away. Even Michael Caine, who is a vastly talented actor, shows absolutely no skill at all.
Every copy of Jaws: The Revenge should be swallowed by the shark from the first film.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Do you want to know how they kill the shark in this one? Do you want to know how stupid the producers of this Bahaman hunk of crap think you are? SHE SAILS THE BOAT INTO THE SHARK AND IMPALES IT WITH THE BOW. No, you read it correctly. The last Starfighter is standing on the deck, flashing some strobe at the shark. The strobe reacts to the electronic gizmo that Mario Van Peebles dropped in its mouth (naturally), the shark stands straight up in the water and roars--I said ROARS!!!--just at the moment Ellen Brody sails the boat into it. Smile you son-of-a-career-ruining-sequel!
This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. The shark eats the Last Starfighter's younger brother in New England, then IT FOLLOWS ELLEN BRODY TO THE BAHAMAS. Apparently, even sharks need a Caribbean getaway now and again. The story is impossible for anyone with even a single connected synapse to believe. I half expected the shark to somehow regurgitate Robert Shaw up onto the deck to help with the navigating of the boat directly into the heart of the beast.
About half way through the movie, my right hand jerked up involuntarily and smacked my face. Minutes later, my left hand did the same thing. That's right; this movie was so bad, that my body tried to stop me from watching it. Loss of bowel/bladder control followed quickly thereafter.
They should play this in hospitals to snap catatonics back to reality and wake coma patients who will jump out of bed and run screaming down the hall to get away from its sheer nightmarish stupidity. This isn't just bad-it's an atrocity.
I know in the director's cut, Mario Van Peebles--even though he was chewed up by the shark--doesn't die. He limply paddles back in after the great impaling, smiling and joking--it's alright, everybody, Mario Van Peebles made it! Had I seen that, my head would've exploded, ruining my couch and un-scotch guarded carpet.
Oh, Michael Kane. Why? You're an Oscar-caliber actor. What did you think it was going to do for your career, standing on the deck of 'Neptune's Folly' in-between the Last Starfighter and Mario Van Peebles? Hoagie, indeed my friend.
Please...I have heard some nonsense in my time, but the defence of such
a monstrous production is well...indefensible. Spouting claptrap about
Shakespeare doesn't dignify what is a ridiculous and feeble offering of
a motion picture.
This movie was so bad it virtually spoofed itself. Hey I know, why not on top of the shark following them all to the Bahamas doesn't it learn to walk too, and then it could follow them if they decided to move inland.
Michael Caine is a very good actor who has a habit of appearing in bad movies. In this one was impressive as he managed to keep a straight face throughout.
So bad it's beyond redemption of any kind and richly deserves it's place at #33 in the bottom rated IMDb movies. It's amazing it did that well.
I'm glad the director has taken the time to submit his review though.
In Jaws 2 a person told sheriff Brody that sharks don't take things personally...in this one they apparently not only do, but they also will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. This focuses on the most mediocre character of the first two Jaws, Ellen Brody. It starts with one of her sons being out on a boat and being killed by a shark. Why he is out on the water is anyone's guess seeing as he was afraid of water in 3, which I do believe this one completely ignores. This attack is probably the only real good scene in the flick cause we are off to the Caribbean where Ellen goes to visit with her other son who just doesn't seem all to upset by his brother's death. What is waiting for her here, but the exact same shark that killed her other son. Michael Caine is in this and this somehow makes me wonder why couldn't they have just forgotten about the Brody's and maybe have it be about Caine in Australia or something as a shark hunter...why do we have to have the same family, you have a better chance of being struck by lightening than you do of being attacked by a shark yet this family is constantly being attacked by sharks. Maybe they all bath in fish blood before swimming? Anyway this film is quite bad and was a pretty bad way to end the franchise.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I would like anyone to present to me, a greater scale of difference
between the greatest film ever made in Jaws, and the worst film ever
made in ...the revenge. This film within the opening minutes, commits
the ultimate sequel sin-it kills off the youngest Brody boy, Sean- as
seen as the the little boy in the first 2films. If Jaws fanatics don't
get up and leave at this point- it gets worse- our hero Chief Brody is
now deceased!! Apparently by heart-attack. So what a start, this leaves
us with two members of the Brody clan remaining- Widow Lorraine Gary,
and her son Michael, now a marine biologist in the Bahamas. This event
of Sean's death forces her to flee the shores of Amity Island and head
for her son 2000 miles away in the Bahamas. The despicable opening to
the movie suddenly now takes a bizarre and utterly ludicrous twist.
Sharky, revenging the death of it's fellow Sharks by Mr.Brody- wants to
eat all Brody's and intends to stop at nothing to do so. This shark
obviously catches wind of Ellen's intentions to flee the area, and the
Shark sets off to follow her. I mean it. A STALKER SHARK! (He would
have been just as well getting out of the water, and knocking on her
So as she heads off in the plane, our Shark follows the plane all the way from New England to the Bahamas. The viewer has now realised all common sense behind the movie has been thrown out the window and we are left with a super-shark with powers to follow a plane at maybe 500miles an hour and travels 2000 miles following this plane. How? no idea ask the script writer and the producers. The utterly bizarre becomes a comedy from here on in. Michael Brody, a well meaning kid in the first 2, has turned into an utter idiot. He discovers the shark is in the Bahamas but for some twist of reasoning decides not to let anybody know-putting everyone in his family in jeopardy. He is married but seemingly cares nothing about the wife, as he spends his occupation money and time putting his efforts watching sea snails. His wife announces to her mother-in-law she plans on having an active sex life with him, why does she do that? no idea...ask the writer. Meanwhile we are introduced to Michael Cane whom is furiously trying to woo Ellen Brody.
Every so often the episode of Family Affairs, is interrupted by a rubber 'fish'and the attack scenes are minimal, Lorraine Gary gets attacked, but get this-it was all a dream!!So what little of the shark we do see is in fact a dream- uh-huh great...
The director really has little interest in the shark, every so often it rears it's rubber head but if you look closely we can actually see at times the railing that follows it along. All this clearly gets too much for Lorraine Gary, as she clearly can't take any more of the film thus she rushes onto a boat to find the shark herself. Cue, the most bizarre and worst ending in cinema history. En route she is intercepted by her incredibly inept son, who plans on sending electric impulses on the shark to electrocute it. Sure mate, whatever just do it so we can end it OK?! Ellen's over 50's love interest Michael Caine gets his plane capsized and attacked underwater by our shark. But good news, he emerges from the water unscathed with a newly pressed shirt, perfectly dry emerging form the water declaring "that thing had bad breathe" or something to that effect. Yes, that is the depths this film has reached. We see the shark proceed to bite the boat and the poor Bahamas guy, the only half decent guy in the movie-but he serves a purpose to put the electric thing in its mouth. The next few minutes sees the shark have seizures and leap high in the air balancing on its fins- think 'free Willy' on Ecstasy.Ellen Brody then proceeds to have flash backs of scenes she didn't witness-such as the "Smile u son of a B..." scene at the end of the original- At this point the shark leaps up perfectly straight for an extended period (U know for a shark thats meant to to have superpowers, it seems pretty dumb)but regardless it lets out a dinosaur roar-i'm not kidding- and balances on the water like a trapeze artist, long enough to get lampooned by the boat. Inexplicably it um....blows up! Yep, it blows up and Mike's mate the Bahamas guy comes out alive and well. And that my friends is the tale of the most bizarre movie i have ever witnessed. Joseph Sargeant the director clearly took what Spielberg said in an interview about the demise of the shark in the original the wrong way- Spielberg said "if you can carry the audience for 2hours; 2minutes of the sharks ending won't make a difference." Sargeant decided that if he can carry the audience for 2minutes he can throw-the craziest most bizarre things for 2 hours! like a roaring shark who balances on its fins and stalks a family while having psychic connections with the woman. Not only that the shark can blow up when it gets stabbed! Sargeant might need to review his logic!
There is Montezuma's revenge and then there is Jaws: The Revenge, in either case diarrhea is produced. This is really a terrible film, as if a shark would go out and take revenge on the family that "murdered" his cousins. Nonsense! It is awful to see Michael Caine in this film, I don't know why Michael appears in films like this, he must only do it for the money because the artistic merits of this film are zilch. Poor Lorraine Gary, went into retirement and then only to come out of retirement to do this turkey, and to think she felt obliged to as well, hardly a fitting finale to the end of a career. This film should have won more Razzies than it did but then against it was up against Leonard part 6!
On the island Amity during the Christmas break, Mrs. Ellen Brody's
younger son Deputy Sean is taken by a great white shark one night after
being called out to move a piece of wood tangled up with a buoy. After
this happens Michael who lives in the Bahamas with his wife and
daughter studying sea snails, visits his mother and asks her to come
down there with him and the family. Ellen wants Michael to not go near
the water, but he convinces her that it's all fine, since great whites
don't like the warm water. But hold on as the shark that killed Sean is
now stalking the family and has only one thing on mind - to wipe out
the Brody family.
Leave those Brody's alone! Err, what crud yeah reading the outline above you'll be just rolling your eyes at how ridiculous this film does get. The last sequel "Jaws 3" was a bad film, but I actually enjoyed it to some degree, but here the personal agenda format was just rubbish and the special connection between the Brody's and the shark was just plain risible. I just found this clunker quite lacklustre with it's melodramatic, soap opera of a story and it's lack of thrills and suspense. It was quite a drag and it did have that cheap TV feel about it, despite it's more than capable cast. The only thing that I thought was decent was the terrifyingly, bloody and macabre opening death. Although, few of the performances ( mainly Lance Guest in the key role of Michael Brody and Michael Caine's happy- go-lucky pilot character Hoagie ) made sure that the film didn't sink too fast. While, the rest were simply one-note and Mario Van Peebles' Jamaican accent was just so dodgy. But what was in need of a life-jacket was the dire script that threw out many awful lines of dialogues. "I've always wanted to make love to an angry welder. I've dreamed of nothing else since I was a small boy." What?! The repetitively, diluted story is full of crock with many implausible situations and it doesn't leave too much up to the imagination. Was the writer and the director drinking sea water on this project? Maybe so, because Michael's wife's supposed piece of art resembled what? I just don't see it. Well, the sprawling beach lines and crystal blue waters were a nice sight. Too bad that the mechanical, but crooked plastic shark slowly got in the way. The ramshackle design looked dreadful, but the makers didn't seem to notice because they constantly kept showing the abomination in it's full glory. I even got the feeling that the shark just couldn't stop grinning. The (few) shark attacks are rather furious and quite graphic, but I found the latter ones to be laughable because of the execution. Really, it goes all out to outdo itself, but this puddle turns out to be simply inept in mostly every single department. Overall, a fatally disastrous novel production that never should have seen open waters and you won't be laughing too much, but you'll be a daze of bemusement to how this franchise fell apart.
It's definitely as bad as its reputation. This is one shark that just won't let go!
|Page 1 of 39:||          |
|Plot summary||Plot synopsis||Ratings|
|Awards||External reviews||Parents Guide|
|Plot keywords||Main details||Your user reviews|
|Your vote history|