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|Index||11 reviews in total|
5 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
So awful it can't be described, 4 August 2006
Author: ereinion from Lemuria
A friend of mine once rented this, thinking since Peter Fonda starred
in it, it couldn't be bad. WRONG! It's bad as anything can be. There is
so much to laugh at and it's not the jokes. For instance, in one scene
Hawken walks into the forest and when he comes out he is suddenly
wearing a completely different outfit! Where was "the director's" brain
when he shot that scene?!? Probably the same place Fonda's was when he
agreed to do this flick. It's truly a shame one has to see such a fine
actor go dumb in this poor excuse for a film.
Nobody's performance in this movie can be called acting. Jack Elam is brought in just to bring up the star count here, but all he does is looking startled in a very dark and awfully shot scene in some kind of bar. Not to mention the "Indians", the girl was so godawful I wanted to shoot her just to end her misery and mine as well. If I could give this a 0, I would. Shame that mark doesn't exist here. This truly reminds of a bad joke or an amateur footage made just for fun. This should serve as a proof of how bad B-movies can get.
5 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Very low-budget quality, 29 December 1998
Author: Tom Chenevert (email@example.com) from Dunstable, Ma
This movie is the reason I no longer rent titles that are unknown to me.
This was so poorly done and acted that it appears that it was done in
someone's back yard in one afternoon. Video tape jackets are like movie
previews, they sure make the movie look good until you see it.
3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Truly dreadful., 2 October 2006
Author: greystone-1 from Australia
I couldn't wait for the end. This is absolutely the worst film I have
ever seen. If you thought that just about anyone could make a watchable
movie, these folks prove that there is a minimum skill set required.
This is a film with no redeeming features whatsoever. It scores a zero
in every department. This is more than just 'amateur' as the audience
is given no consideration or regard at all. There is no serious attempt
to act or entertain. The storyline is aimless, pointless and senseless.
The cast look very uncomfortable and completely lack direction. The
technical aspects of the film are poor.
As a DVD it makes a good drinks coaster.
2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
My 397th review: 1/10 Huzzah! One of the greatest drinking games of all time!, 3 April 2011
Author: intelearts from the big screen
This isn't just a turkey, it's turkeysaurus, mount turkeyest, the
turkeyiana trench, turkey t-rex. One of the absolute stinkiest stinkers
of all stinkiness. Absolutely unwatchable excepting as a drinking game.
Some suggested rules would be every over-exaggerated use of the
close-up - take a drink. Every time you physically cringe at how bad
Peter Fonda's acting is- take a drink. Every time a gun goes off with
no recoil - take a drink. For every awful awful line uttered by Spirit
in perfect SATs English that makes you laugh - take a drink.
Drunk is the only way this might be viewable. If you live in California and has a medical prescription, then this should keep you laughing for about two weeks.
It is rare to see a film that achieves the unique distinction of being truly bad in ALL areas: directing, acting, script, make-up, costuming - but Hawken's? It be that bad.
Deserves cult status.
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A poor western... especially if you dislike westerns, 29 October 2012
Author: Wizard-8 from Victoria, BC
Westerns were really out of fashion when director Charles B. Pierce made this one, so you have to admire him for putting so much effort into making it. Unfortunately, that's about the nicest thing I can say about "Hawken's Breed". The other user comments who wrote negative things about this movie were right about its bad quality. It's as slow as molasses, with most of what happens in the first half being completely unnecessary, except maybe to pad out the very thin story. The movie also shows some signs that it was a troubled production, with excessive use of narration used to try and explain things (and sometimes contradicting what we see and hear from the characters!) Even Guido and Maurizio De Angelis (what are they doing on an American film?) can't liven things up with their musical score, which is far from their best work. If there is anything else positive to say about the movie besides trying to resurrect a dead genre, it's that it provided work for Peter Fonda during a lean period for him.
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Drinking Party Movie, 29 December 2004
Author: disengage from Location Unknown
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Hehe.. Watch it while you are drinking. It's really funny. It's so poorly done that if you watch closely at the end of the film, when the two last bad guys is running into the barn where Spirit is, you can see that the last man in slams his head in the wood board above the door! It doesn't look like this was in the script, I just think that they didn't bother to re-shoot that scene. I promise you that you'll laugh when you see it. The bit with the bear trap is also really good. Hawken comes running out of the forest and slams a bear trap on to an Indians head, and you can clearly see how bad it stays on. It's even in slow mo. The whole movie seriously looks like it was done in one day. With a regular family movie camera.
5 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Hideously and indescribably bad. Entirely filler., 4 June 2007
Author: Genius from United States
Look no further, this is it, the worst movie ever made. There may be
others that are tied, but there are none worse. There can't be.
I found this movie on a clearance-sale laserdisc for $3.25, and thought no movie with those actors could possibly not be worth that price. Turns out it's worth triple that - as the minimum they should have paid me to watch it.
I'm virtually certain that the girl in the picture on the cover of the package is not the girl in the movie, they substituted someone else, someone younger and cuter, to make it look more appealing. Whatever "plot" there was amounted to about three minutes of actual movie, the rest is filler. And I don't mean the kind of filler that you only realize is filler when it's over, or that is some kind of eye candy you don't mind having there, I mean filler that has you thinking about your shopping list. I think the "music" must have been made up by somebody with a friend who had a radio he listened to once. It's terrible.
If there were a shot of a nice mountain, a river valley, a forest, anything, there would be something positive about this movie. There isn't. Even with the speeder button on the remote, even at top laserdisc speed, you can't get it over with fast enough.
After years of thinking about commenting on movies, being tempted but not registering with IMDb, I finally cracked, because I had to do my part to push the user rating on this stinker down as far as possible.
The guidelines ask that you "focus on the content and context". I can't. There isn't enough content to focus on, and that's exactly my point. Sometimes bad is just bad, and this movie would have to be much better than it is to aspire to being only that.
I enjoyed it but it did have some faults, 3 July 2011
Author: taniaaust1 from Australia
I thought this DVD was really going to be bad due to many of the
reviews here but I ended up finding this film quite watchable so hence
gave it a rating of 6.
It is a Western that one can just sit back and relax with.. no big long loud gun fights (they happen quite quick in this film, so if you like a lot of action, this isn't the film for you).
It's easy watching as you don't have to put any thought into anything. A film that one can watch and relax to when tired while in bed just before sleep or fall asleep to and then get up the next day and finish watching it. Someone commented they didn't like the music in it but I liked the peaceful music.
I do agree thou that there is some very bad acting in this film eg in one part there was someone with life threatening injury and his son had a bit of a smile/smirk on his face when the guy is talking about it and of wanting revenge.
I didn't at all mind the story line thou it was quite a typical one.
Worth a watch if you aren't watching with high expectation of action and just want to veg out in bed or on a sofa and relax to a western and can over look some faults.
3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Yes, it *really* is that bad., 13 August 2008
Author: rj-27 from Warren., MI
If you want a complete waste of time, because pulling lint out of your
belly button or cleaning the wax out of your ears or grouting your tile
is your idea of a carnival thrill ride, then you'll not want to miss
For one thing, forget the VHS cover. NO body in this movie looks that attractive (ie, the Indian girl). Someone else commented that whoever posed for the cover is not the same girl and I agree. The cover is THE most exciting thing about this movie.
To put this in perspective, I bought this VHS for 99 cents at K-Mart and three minutes, no, 40 seconds into the movie, I knew I had been ripped off.
I finished watching it because 1) I did pay 99 cents after all and, 2)there might possibly, conceivably been a hair of chance some scene in this turkey was worth more than a pinched loaf.
Good grief, Fonda. I know you were hard up for roles when you did this, but this is beneath you.
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A kind of illustrated tale, a kind of "red neck" western., 4 December 2012
Author: pirus surip from France
It is a strange movie, but it is absolutely not "the worst movie ever"
as some other reviews say.
Don't watch it as an action movie.
There is a lot of music.
There is action too, but that's not what is important in this movie.
It's a kind of ballad, a kind of contemplative movie.
A kind of illustrated tale, with images and music.
The soundtrack is quite nice (especially the instrumental song played through out the entire movie, I suppose it's banjo).
It's a kind of "red neck" western.
It's not perfect, it's a Z movie made with no money, and the DVD I found had sound problems, but I like this movie.
There is poetry in it.
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