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Hard Ticket to Hawaii More at IMDbPro »

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21 reviews in total

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24 out of 25 people found the following review useful:
An intellectual classic and a must see for all conspiracy theorists!, 23 March 1999

Author: woodpile-2 from Guadelamolokai, Mexicali

This non-fiction masterpiece retells the riveting true story of two beautiful government super-agents, their pet snake & a diabolical criminal plot, the implications of which will surely send chills down your spine.

The safety of the free world is at stake as the evil Dr. Chang and his wily henchmen plot to flood the Hawaiian economy with drugs and diamonds. Only Donna & Taryn, two of the greatest agents this government has ever known, stand in the way. Armed only with nunchuks and throwing stars and with the help of their little reptile friend and his venom, specially engineered toxins derived from the diseased blood of cancerous rats, the two foxy ladies and the two secret super studs, Rowdie and Jade, embark upon their dangerous mission.

Will our heroes be able to stop these nefarious villains and save the world? Only through hot tub strategy sessions and with the help of Rowdie & Jade's "Trunk of Toys" will our heroes prevail.

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24 out of 28 people found the following review useful:
God bless this horrible movie., 3 May 2003

Author: da_flipboy from Hamilton, Ontario

If you liked The Remains Of The Day, Terms Of Endearment, or Steel Magnolias... avoid this movie at all costs.

How do you begin to describe a movie with gratuitous nudity, bad acting, an implausible plot, 2-dimensional characters, and bad fight scenes? How do you describe the necessity for a mutant snake, an inflatable doll, skateboarding henchmen and razor-bladed frisbees in the same movie? Ofcourse, I COULD mention some of the greatest lines of our generation like,"Life is a bitch and then you die." Or maybe,"Just when you thought it was safe to take a pee." (I can't make that up.)

Why would I bother telling you that I searched for years to find this movie on DVD to watch over and over and over again? I dare not watch another movie in this series for fear of besmearching the good name of this gem. Please, please, please, if have the opportunity, watch it at least once.

This movie is like how Richard Gere describes the opera in Pretty Woman. Those that love it, will love it forever, and those that don't will learn to appreciate it, but it will never become a part of their soul.

Enjoi filmphiles

P.S. I take no blame for mental trauma suffered from watching this film.

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22 out of 29 people found the following review useful:
I concur wholeheartedly, this is a classic..., 6 August 1999
Author: Joel Stephens (mrbaddnews@aol.com) from Molokai, HI

First there was the Bicycle Thief, then Citizen Kane, Gone With the Wind, Doctor Zhivago, Gahndi, and now Hard Ticket to Hawaii. Breathtaking cinematography and cunning script writing make this a must-see for all who aspire to create "films" rather than movies. Dona Spier (grossly ignored by the academy) spews forth her lines with an enthusiasm unseen since the great Shakespearean actresses of the 18th century. Andy Sidaris is a shrewd judge of talent and is horribly underestimated, as his films are usually ignored at the Cannes and Aspen film festivals. I rate this a 10.

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8 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Movie sucks, but i laughed my a** off, 1 October 2003
Author: uriverde

One of the worst movies ever made, gets so ridiculous i didn´t stop laughing all the way through it. If you have a sense of humor, and some time to waste, check it out, it could be an experience you won´t forget.

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9 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
Worth seeing if only for Dona Speir, 20 October 2002
Author: Robert (u240robert) from Clearwater

One of the hottest looking "actresses" ever. Lots of nudity, even when they have clothing on they are usually running around and wear very sexy outfits so it's still pretty cool. Despite the obvious appeal because of the babes, this movie is filled lots of action and is fun too watch. Not exactly on the level of Citizen Kane, but hey who cares, Orson Wells never looked this good!

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5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Eye Candy Hall of Fame, 18 August 1999
Author: Robbie-43 from Columbus, Ohio

The members of the academy have selected this film into our Hall of Fame mainly on the physical attributes of Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton. These two lovely ladies make a (have a) wonderful pair and their camaraderie give this film a uplifting spirit seldom seen (think Newman & Redford). Throw in the changing clothes scene of Cynthia Brimhall and the topless walk-thru by Patty Duffek and the mix is complete. This is the first entry of the Sidaris spy-action movies with this ensemble. It is also the best work by Speir and Carlton in terms of acting without the threat of costumes stealing the scene. So grab a brew and watch this piece from start to the closing credits where the nude scenes are reshown (a wonderful final tribute thanks to the genius of Andy Sidaris).

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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Malibu Express goes to Hawaii..., 6 September 2006

Author: Frank Markland from United States

Hard Ticket To Hawaii has two bimbo travel to Hawaii to fight off drug-lords who are distributing the bad powders on paradise and this shall not stand when our bimbos and meat-heads, Er I mean the DEA are in town looking for a little take out. Hard Ticket To Hawaii brings up a few questions that I was constantly thinking about throughout. Mainly when did the DEA stop using mandatory IQ tests? Why is it that every DEA agent carries at least a double D breast size and why must every woman look like a model? The answer is of course that this is a Andy Sidaris movie and in this type of movie, heroes don't need much intellect to save the world, after all the villains are just as dense. Hard Ticket To Hawaii is surprisingly competent as these things go, I mean it isn't at all any good but it does deliver what it promises. In fact fans of the genre maybe amused by this effort, even if it is for all the wrong reasons. Also the movie interestingly predates the whole Snake On Plane routine as indeed this is the first movie to ever a have a wild snake on a plane.

* * out of 4-(Fair)

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5 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
What James Bond promises this movie delivers, 29 May 1999

Author: David Wright from Seattle

I was surprised by the low vote score for this movie. I haven't seen it in a while but I would rate it as one of the ultimate "guy" movies. How can you beat 4 Playboy Playmate, motorcycles, explosions etc. This movie is exactly what you think it is and more.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Snakebite (#2), 24 May 2008
Author: sheenafilm from Hamburg, Germany

Even though the Malibu Express yacht returns, this is not a real sequel to the movie "Malibu Express". Dona Speir starred for the first time in one of Sidaris' movies; tough guy Rodrigo Obregon and Playboy playmate Cynthia Brimhall would become familiar faces in the series of action movies with lethal ladies, too. "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" begins with two female pilots who carry an extremely dangerous snake on board of their plane. The snake escapes and spreads death, but the two ladies are also in danger because they interfered unknowingly with the plans of diamond smugglers. The movie suffers from a mediocre story, silly dialogs and poor acting, but with a lot of action and the fine craftsmanship behind the camera, it becomes easy to sit through. This is the 2nd out of my 12 reviews for the works of Andy Sidaris, in chronological order. Even if "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" isn't among my personal faves, I have the impression that due to the learning experience from this, some of the following works became much better.

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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
not as good as the first or third, but fun all the same, 22 September 2005

Author: movieman_kev from United States

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

In this second film in Andy Sidaris's babes & bullets saga (precede by "Malibu Express" and followed by "Picasso Trigger", both slightly better films, in my mind) two DEA agents are killed on a private Hawaiin Island. Then two agents of a government agency stumble on a dastardly plot involving diamonds, a killer snake, and remote controlled helicopters.When not fighting for their lives with the bed guys, they enjoy being topless in the Jacuzzi. Highlights include the blowing up of a plastic doll, and of course whenever Dona Speir sheds her top. Lowlights include the lamest snake "effect" I've ever seen and whenever Dona is off-screen. Fun for a drunken night with friends.

Eye Candy: Cynthia Brimhall; Hope Marie Carlton; Patty Duffek; and Dona Speir all get topless multiple times

My Grade: C-

DVD Extras: Introduction with Andy and Julie Strain; Director's Commantary; 37 minute Behind the scenes featurette (featuring abundant nudity); Production Stills; Sndy Sidaris filmography; web-links; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for 11 other Sidaris films (all with abundant nudity)

Easter Egg: For 15 seconds of Julie Strain completely nude, From the main menu, highlight the "Bonus Features" & press right

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