The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
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The 'Garbage Pail Kids' themselves have awful costumes that are very poorly designed and really badly operated. The puppeteers need to be shot!!
I decided to find this movie and watch it because I hadn't seen it since it first come out, and I was sure I enjoyed it as a kid- What was wrong with me!!!
Save yourself a disappointing hour and a half....
I remember liking this movie when I was a kid, but hardly could remember anything about it, I realize now that it wasn't the passage of time, it was probably my brain trying to block it out.
There's not anything redeeming about this movie, AT ALL. no good times, no heartfelt jokes, not even sappy "awwww" moments. Don't get me wrong, I collected the cards and stickers when I was little, so I knew what the Garbagepail kids were all about, the flat, 1 dimensional quality of the cards spoke better than this live action film did.
I know people will say this movie is made to be enjoyed for kids, but if I had kids, I wouldn't let them near this piece of s**t.
The entire movie is shot is such a dark tone, that half the time you're squinting to see ANYTHING. Freakish/mutant kids are hidden away in a garbage pail, there's a great lesson right there, hide away those who are different. Loser boy works in a magic shop for an old man (who by the way the old man is the only enjoyable character in this whole film!!) Anyhow, freak kids escape can, refuse to go back in, we're "treated" to 90 minutes of burping, farting, pants wetting, whining, toe biting, vomiting, pimple busting, snot, etc., need I go on about this? You get the point.
Tangerine, the female in this film is a teenage "fashion designer" who uses the loser kid once she finds out the abilities of the "sweat shop" kids. Usually the predictable result of such films involve the snotty character realizing her own wrongs and trying to make them right, not here! There's also some silly side plots about the kids going to bars, getting in with the toughs, all of whom look like they just got done filming the Michael Jackson "Bad" video, the "romantic interest" between the loser and the stuck up fashion designer. Also I recollect there was some other ridiculousness about a "Home for the Ugly." My IQ fell about 10 points after watching this disaster, oh yeah, PLENTY of 80's feel good music and fashion that will leave you wanting no more. A terrible waste of potential talent and film, if you're yearning for 80's Nostalgia, rent any of the John Hughes films instead. 0/10
Firstly, I do have to agree with other reviewers that this is one of the poorly written kids movies out there. I know this movie is supposed to be bad and mindless trash, but the dialogue alone makes it not only bad, it makes it garbage. The dialogue is mega lame and not quotable at all, and I didn't laugh once. The humour was also very grotesque, I know the cards are quite grotesque, and movies like Freddy Got Fingered had grotesque and very unsubtle humour, but The Garbage Pail Kids Movie takes the whole meaning of the word "grotesque" to a whole new level and in a bad way. Plus the pranks are very mean-spirited, as is the knockabout violence.
Then there is the story. What was the story again? To me, it had those talentless hacks Friedberg and Seltzer written over it, it is one of the most poorly constructed stories in a movie, with drawn out scenes, plodding pace you name it. Next, the production values, am I the only person who thought they were appalling? The sets were poor, the lighting was dim, the camera work was like direct to video quality, the special effects were laughable and the costumes were horrible. Don't get me wrong, I like 1980s fashion, it is funky and cool, but the costumes here made me want to gouge my eyes out.
Even the soundtrack was awful. Generic, lifeless and uninspired, even worse than the music in Disaster Movie, which sounded like it had been made up on the spot at last minute. Not to mention it is the epitome of cheesiness. And the acting was atrocious. Anthony Newley was wasted as Captain Manzini, and MacKenzie Astin is a bland and inept child protagonist. Juice and Tangerine are underdeveloped and clichéd, and Ali Gator, Greaser Greg and Nat Nerd are unlikeable and I think ugly characters with voices that have haunted me in my sleep since seeing the movie last night. And they wasted Jim Cummings completely here, the immortal voice actor who gave us Darkwing Duck, Dr RobotNik and Don Karnage has sounds utterly embarrassed here, it makes me want to cry.
Overall, absolutely awful. When I finished watching it, yes I watched the whole thing, I was like what was that? 1/10(and that is being kind, I could tell even from the title it wasn't going to be good). Bethany Cox
I do remember the Garbage Pail Kids pretty well, although they were a bit "after my time". It's no secret that the Garbage Pail Kids were supposed to be a disgusting and weird parody of the ever-so-clean Cabbage Patch Kids. When I rented it, I thought maybe there'd be some kind of creative use of sick and twisted humor, since the trading cards always had such delightfully vile characters on them. Was I ever wrong First, let me start with the characters themselves. They looked exactly like they did on the trading cards, which was actually "off putting" in its own way. The costumes were very detailed, but the animatronics were horrible to say the least. It made me wonder if the people who designed them had been fired from Chuck E. Cheese's design studio.
Next, we have the "acting", but that's stretching it a bit; I've seen stronger scripts in 1970's porn. One commenter stated that "It looked like they were just making it up as they went along", to which I second that, although none of the dialog was even that imaginative. I just loved how the so-called bully (Juice) would harass Dodger, portrayed so ineptly by Mackenzie Astin by calling him a "creep" and then throwing him down in the sewer, dumpster, etc. All the human roles were cookie-cutter stereotypes and had absolutely no depth or personality whatsoever. I realize that this movie was made for kids, but even in other kid-friendly movies I've been forced to watch, you generally have some feeling or care about what's going on, even if it's only surface feelings. Watching this movie was the equivalent of having you eyelids propped open with toothpicks and duct tape and having to sit through an ABC After School Special about teen mothers played frame-by-frame in slow-motion and starring Scott Baio.
Two things I still can't get over were two locations used in the storyline: "TOUGHEST BAR IN THE WORLD" and the "STATE HOME FOR THE UGLY". I suppose the writers felt that their audiences were certified mentally challenged and that it's imperative that everything must be spelled out for them.
Movies can be silly, satirical, humorous, weird and even stupid sometimes, but this movie lacks all but the last I one I mentioned on this list. Nostalgia has never been so appalling as Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie.
Usually at this point I would talk about the plot, but there isn't one! The acting is bad, so is the script and direction. The garbage pail kids were meant to represent that beauty comes from the inside, but the kids aren't that nice. The bad guys are in some scenes made out to be big time, but generally they get their kicks, from bullying and stealing a few dollars from a 14 year old! This is a script I would expect from a ten year old (and not a clever one at that) it's that bad. Even the puppeteering is not up to much (the mouths don't even open most of the time when the garbage pail kids talk!), thinking about I can't really think of anything positive, except that the rest of the kids were crushed by the authorities at the ridiculous named 'state home for the ugly' to save us all from having more dislikable characters on screen!
It is a film that seems to have had a half-hearted effort put into it. Not much makes sense and one of the unfortunate things was that captain Manzini was unable to get the kids back in the pail! However no sequel or series (as was intended) ever came to pass!